October 11, 2006

My Fan is Better than your Fan


I have a couple of things that are really pissing me off today.

First off...listening to the news last night, I quickly realized that Husker fan could possibly be the biggest hypocrite ever to walk the earth. Take the Josh Freeman situation that is coming to a head this week. Thanks to Corey McKeon's little act at the Husker press conference yesterday, we get a real glimpse into what fuels the Hick nation and their lifelong quest to let YOU know how great they are. (* Note - A self-imposed ban on bashing individual players causes me to have no further comment on loudmouth, overrated Husker linebackers)

So why is Corn fan so pissed off this week? Ahhhh yes, an 18 year old kid who wasn't even out on his own yet, decided that he wasn't going to let 2.1 million dorks on Huskerpedia tell him where to go. First of all, he's a fucking kid. He's 18 years old. How slick were you at age 18? (Granted, most of my Husker readers were probably working the combines by themselves at that point, or helping Ma make vittles. But I digress.) Anyhow, how far are you people going to let this hypocritical bullshit continue? I have two words for you....Chris Brooks. Or how about Grant Wistrom?

You see, when Husker fan "takes what they want" from other teams, they have absolutely no problem proclaiming that the young man..who was obviously wise beyond his years...simply saw the light and wanted to go somewhere where he would be worshiped. (no real argument there.) They have done it for years. They've done it recently. They do it all the fucking time. But good fucking gravy if you steal a recruit from them...or even if the kid talks to a new coach and decides he likes him better...there is going to be hell to pay.

So who is responsible for this? Personally, I blame the Huskers Propaganda machine and the explosion of lame-ass, waste-of-time recruiting sites that tell a legion of fans what a High School junior had for breakfast...even though it's a complete crapshoot if he'll ever be good. Husker fan is so outraged that somebody would shun them, that they have even stooped so low as to blame recruits PARENTS. (Omaha World Herald Columnist even questioned whether or not Harrison Beck's mom was fit to be a competent parent when he left) When you steal from others, it's a right. When others steal from you, they're Satan.

Did I miss anything?

Speaking of idiots who piss me off, I was driving home yesterday listening to the Hickster fans call in their disdain for Josh Freeman and his family, when an interesting argument came up. The uber-fucking stupid argument of "who's fans do you hate the most" came up. Naturally, because Hick fans are the greatest in college football (the sign on the door tells you so in case you forgot), there were a bevy of opinions as to why KSU fans are, in their words..."the worst".

First of all, there are no good or bad fans. There are just FANS. The only difference between fans of differing locations is the background they come from. So Nebraska has been good for 35 years or so...what the hell does that have to do with being a "great fan"? Because when you go to games the team wins? Because you all wear the same sweatshirt? Seriously, just because Johnny Rogers ran back a punt in 1971, you are somehow magically better than some poor Kent State bastard who has been following his favorite team for just as long? Is it because you have a big scoreboard? Is it because your mascot wears overalls? Seriously..somebody let me know.

Most disturbing of all, was the word that kept coming out..caller after caller: Tradition. Somehow, if you are OU fan, you have "tradition", and Husker fan will respect you. Meanwhile, if you are Mizzou, KSU or Iowa State fan, you have no tradition, and you are not worthy to share the same stadium when they come to town. First of all dipshits, OU is not your rival. Texas is their rival. OSU is second. Secondly, when K-State and Nebraska hit the field on Saturday, will it really matter what you did on some cold afternoon in November 1974? Should I somehow respect Miami fan for some strange reason because they've been good for quite some time as well? How in the hell can you "measure" fans? Because some people threw snowballs at you in the parking lot? Well guess what Elmer, don't show up in your fucking RV, take 15 fucking spaces, and play that horrible fucking fight song at full blast, and people won't hate you so much.

And while you're at it, stop pretending to "salute" visiting teams when they leave your field; stop bitching about the media hating you. (they don't even remember you for what it's worth), stop running up 500 yards rushing in the mid 90's and then tell us how great of an effort the other team gave.

People hate you for all the bullshit that you've pulled over the past 3 or 4 decades. That doesn't make them bad fans...that makes you too bored or dumb (maybe both) to know any better. Football isn't about making friends and "showing your pride". Football is about territory, bragging rights and respect....and until you people stop acting like you invented the game...you will get none from the teams you piled on for all those years.

With all that...I just lied to you. There is ONE form of fan who is below all others. A form of fan so vile and disgusting, I can hardly keep from gagging as I write this. And that person is:

Out of town bandwagon fan.

Case in point. In 2001 my buddy and I went to the Missouri vs. Nebraska game in Columbia. It was tough to get tickets, so we ended up sitting on the hill in the north end zone. Sitting next to us were six idiots in red corduroy pants, giant red cowboy hats and...I'm not lying...red suspenders. Now, going to a Nebraska game of any sort, I'm resigned to the fact that I'll probably run into one of these jackoffs at one point or another. Me being nice (and drunk) at the time, I decide to make friendly small talk. Since I have lived in Nebraska for 20 years, I asked him where he was from.

"Oh I'm not from Nebraska. I'm originally from New Jersey, and moved to St. Louis. I've always loved the Huskers and this is as close as they get."

I'm surrounded on an island in an ocean of red diarrhea, and this fucking clown has never been within 300 miles of Lincoln? Are you fucking serious? Not to tell you who to cheer for, but who the fuck do you think you are? What the hell gives you the right to just pick and choose who you want to root for? (He explained he loved "rushing teams" as a kid and stuck with them "through thick and thin") Needless to say, red corduroy guy was not my friend during the game, even after Eric Crouch twinkletoed his way 90+ yards for a TD. As he stuck both fingers in my face, declaring what a "great fan" of a "great team" he was...I reminded him once again, that it is scum like this who deserve everything they get. This assclown didn't do anything to sacrifice himself and put his heart on his sleeve other than picking up a red sweatshirt at the Hoboken J.C. Penny store. People like this should be buried to their necks and pelted with rocks for sport.
I hope when this year's version of the Huskers crash and burn, corduroy guy is getting everything he deserves. That is if he doesn't have on a Rutgers sweatshirt by now.


PS - For those of you new visitors, please take note that this week is pretty tame compared to what lies ahead of us the first week of November. Just warning you now.


(Thanks to the Daily Oklahoman for the picture of Josh Freeman)

24 Comments:

Blogger Chuck said...

Wow. That was the best thing I've read in quite some time. Hopefully we can get the win against the Husker idiots this weekend.

2:00 PM  
Anonymous mike said...

AJ, here is Jim Rose's meltdown when Josh Freeman decided he wanted to be a Wildcat instead of a 'sker.

Meltdown

2:17 PM  
Anonymous EMAW!!!!! said...

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2:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My thoughts exactly!!! Keep up the good work, love when someone can take a jab at a NUB.

2:22 PM  
Blogger Tee-dub said...

You know what bugged me? When Nebraska fans bitched and whined when Scott Frost decided to go to Stanford. Like it was disloyal or stupid or somehow morally wrong for Scott Frost to accept a scholarship from Bill Walsh to attend one of the greatest universities in the world. If Frost were my kid, I'd have MADE him accept the scholarship offer from Stanford. Any dumbass Nebraska fan who complained about it should be ashamed of himself.

It pains me that anybody, ANYBODY, had a negative thing to say about young Josh Freeman. He's a kid, for crying out loud. When Bill Callahan referred to an eighteen-year-old as a "drama queen" before members of the media, I was ashamed for Callahan and for my school.

I understand the coaches felt like they got burned, because of some investment they had made in Freeman, but such things happen. I understand Callahan might be disappointed in losing out on a terrific prospect, but he should have kept his mouth shut.

As I recall, Joe Dailey reneged on his commitment to Syracuse at the last moment in order to enrol at Nebraska. I don't recall any Nebraskans complaining about Dailey's character at the time. The difference, of course, is that the Syracuse coach had enough class not to call the kid names.

3:51 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Absolutely. Completely forgot about the Stanford situation.

Very good point.

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! I am a die hard KSU Fan and I want to say I will be completely, 100% rooting for MU the rest of the way.

The Nubbies were great fans when there was no competition in the Big 8 and we had no idea college football even existed in this league besides OU and NU.

Low and behold they got challenged a little bit and the Nubbies acted like we took their divine right away.

I have been reading your blog pretty consistently for awhile and get a great chuckle. especially since all K-State Fans are banned from their website this is the only way that we can get a real opinion to them about them as fans.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off, I just want to say that this site is funny and entertaining as hell. Everyone needs a hobby and as a Nebraska resident, Husker fan and UNL alum, I don't really feel sorry for you (it's your personal choice to continue to live among the self-proclaimed greatest fans in the galaxy) but I must admit that I cannot entirely fault you for your choice of hobbies and I can see where you're coming from (in certain instances) after reading a fair number of your entries.

A point of reference (that was quite well reported via the MSM & internet) in regard to Callahan's comment about Freeman being a drama queen...it was only made in reference to the way in which young Josh went about informing the coaching staff of his decision to back out of a several-month long commitment (by waiting until a dead period to text message the NU coaches.) Excuse it away if it suits your purpose, but most objective people would agree that his was not a very mature way to handle such a decision, all things considered.

As to your talk of hypocrisy being rampant in the Husker ranks, you offer this:
"Football is about territory, bragging rights and respect....and until you people stop acting like you invented the game...you will get none from the teams you piled on for all those years."
Now if this is indeed the case (that "Football is about territory, bragging rights and respect") then you must concede that it has nothing to do with your unsubstantiated claim that NU fans act like they invented the game. You bemoan the fact that Husker fans regularly applaud the opposing team as they leave the field of play (win or lose)...this seems to be a big point of contention with you. Considering your contention that "Football is about territory, bragging rights and respect" the action of applauding the opponents seems to speak to the respect they offer other teams that you claimed "football is about".
But if, as you say, football is about bragging rights, then I'm afraid that you've just backed yourself into a little corner there. Because if it's about bragging rights, then many "teams they piled on for all those years" have quite a ways to go before they claim that they're deserving of respect from fans like myself. It's gonna take more than a couple of wins at home for a year or two before I'd start being so demanding of the "respect" that you all supposedly deserve...until then I'd accept that AT THE VERY LEAST, NU fans will clap for the other team as they leave Memorial Stadium...in and of itself, a more respectful action than the occupants of any other stadium in the big 12 can claim to muster, no matter how disingenuous you want to make yourself believe such an action to be.
You see, back to the "bragging rights" you mention, here's the tally of NU's record vs other teams in the big xii over the course of my lifetime (along with average score in parenthesis):
BAY-8-0 (NU-41.38, BAY-9.86)
CU-26-6-1 (NU-30.73, CU-16.3)
ISU-29-5 (NU-40.3, ISU-13.58)
KU-33-1 (NU-43.42, KU-8.85)
KSU-28-5 (NU-38.48, KSU-16.82)
Mizzou-27-6 (NU-34.03, Missou-16.3)
OU-14-16 (NU-21.2, OU-20.23)
OK. ST-25-1-1 (NU-33.48, OSU-12.26)
UT-2-5 (UT-21.14, NU-19.29)
A&M-5-1 (NU-36.83, A&M-16.67)
TT-7-2 (NU-34.44, TT-23.89)

So as I've witnessed NU compile over four times as many wins as losses against conference opponents in my life, You're gonna be hard pressed to convince me that I should respect anyone unless it's OU or UT...at least if the criteria that you're using to define that such is deserved is "bragging rights". Yeah, it is true that a couple of teams have even established some whopping one or two game home win streaks against NU in recent years (against some of the worst NU teams of the last half century). Fans of these teams should come back after a sustained pattern of success is established (see also: more than two home wins in twenty-plus years of trying) before they crow too much about their "bragging rights."

But keep up your rants, I found some great material that tee-dub put on another post about Cosgrove (an experiment that this Husker fan feels has run its course) that I thought was very insightful. I certainly respect your opinions about idiots that dress themselves up like fucking cobs of corn but couldn't name more than five people on the two deep. I consider myself more of a follower than a fan. Fans wear corn heads (that were ripped off from the Packers) and go nuts when they hear the song that plays out the Bulls, the Yankees and about half of all other pro teams...I do not. Your beef with fans is well merited--but as you must know by now, NU's fanbase does have some of the better FOLLOWERS of the facts, figures & trends in college football...so I just want to ask you to be mindful of the hypocrisy of your own arguments.

DT

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Joco said...

Your description of the supposed Fusker fan you met on the hill at Mizzou in 2001 is just like the zillion KU hoops fans I run into.

They never went to school there. They have no relationship to the team. They just like to boost their non-existent self esteem by rooting for a team that's usually good. And then they think somehow they contribute to the success of the team personally.

Oy.

6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aj, this video reminded me of all your neighbors up in Nebrasky: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1711428

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1711428

7:53 PM  
Blogger DejaWiz said...

They do contribute to the team's success...financially. While every college seeks addition funds from merchandising, I just can't stand wannabe fair weather bandwagon fans to like a team one week, then hate them the next.

I see this a lot with Michigan (btw, Go Blue!). Westroads, Crossroads, and Oak View are littered with teen gangsta wannabes sportin' Big Blue tees, windbreakers, and parkas. Pathetic.

Maybe it's the gangsta mentality that draws people to root for NU - so they can fit in socially and forget about their boring lives.

8:08 PM  
Anonymous WILDCATS 45 FUSKERS 3 said...

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9:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a fairly level headed Nebraska fan(I like to think so anyway) I just wish there was someway, that all the dipshit husker fans could go away unhappy, while I ended up happy. It does make up for the NU losses somewhat by observing the internet trainwrecks that happen afterwards, but still. It just sucks to be born into being a fan of a Univerisity that has the most narcissistic, sensitive, and self-absorbed fan base in this side of European Soccer. That and out of state NU fans are by far the worst about thinking that it makes them extra-special, since they had to actively make a choice to be a Nebraska fan inevitably believing some bullshit about the magic of Tom Osborne or some such thing, while many of the rest of us just happened to be born into it.

10:02 PM  
Anonymous Bart from Iowa said...

14 October 2006 – Manhattan, Kansas

As the sun sets over the calm Kansas prairie, a red object begins to glow two vehicles over outside of the Bill. Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it is just a nubbie fan with his chest all fluffed out wearing a Chris Kringle looking pull over.
Being the ‘classy’ fan that I am, I walk over to greet mr. cornbread and wish his team good luck….
“Luck,” he replies smugly, “we don’t need luck today against your team.”
Obviously he was right, if you think about it the children of the corn did dominate a 5-6 KSU team in Lincoln last year 27-25. Even though the Wildcats out gained the huskers, the game was never in doubt….???
Or maybe he was referring to 2004 when a 4-7 K-State team doubled up lil red in yardage and squeaked by 45-21.
Or maybe he was thinking about 2003 when the ‘Cats won in lincoln 38-9. Wasn’t that the game nebraska really showed their ‘class’ when one of their assistants got in Coach Snyder’s face, started dropping f-bombs, and wanted to fight the 64 year old for running up the score… and then Brent Musberger settled it when he said, “Give me a break.”
Well then it must have been 2002 when the huskers beat,,,,, wait a minute, K-State won that game too 49-13.
Confused by how confident the NC+ dealer was, I take a step back, nod, and say, “Oh.” Prior to leaving, I point out that he has mustard crawling down his front between the “B” and the “R”. Observing the streaking mishap, cousin eddie sets down his Meister Brau, pulls up his garment, and licks off the yellowish condiment. With a strange look on his face and licking his lips, cousin eddie says, “I don’t think that was mustard.” Shrugging it off, eddie snuffs his nose as he picks back up his cold one.
At that point, I head into the game to listen to the Harley’s. It is a beautiful 59 degrees and the flags are barely moving.

Here is how the rest of the night went…..

Willie finally cleared the field and K-State kicked the ball off to nebraska who was defending the South goal.
The 1st quarter wasn’t pretty for the ‘Cats. The nubbies scored touchdowns on their first two possessions and KSU only mustered one first down. [0-14]
The 2nd quarter started with a lil red punt and the Purple returned it to their own 37 yard line. On third and eight from the 39, Josh Freeman was hit and sacked for a six yard loss. But there was a flag on the play. The nu linebacker mcmouthy got up in Josh’s grill after play and received a 15 yard taunting penalty for his effort. Smooth move Exlax!!! Extending the drive, the ‘Cats were able to move the ball down and score a TD. The teams traded field goals before half. [10-17]
K-State got the ball to start the 3rd quarter but on the second play from scrimmage young Mr. Freeman threw an INT. The great cornolios convert the turnover into seven points. The Wildcats were able to convert a nubbie fumble into a field goal before the quarter ended. [13-24]
Prior to the 4th quarter starting, there was a big cheer coming from the fans on the NorthWest side. I looked over and saw Huggie-bear, Bill Walker, and Nick Lachey walking up the ramp towards the Big XII room. That was pretty cool to see!!!
On the first series of the quarter, the ‘Cats hold the corndogs to a three & out and return the punt to the 42 yard line. K-State converts the following seven play drive into a touchdown. But instead of kicking the extra point, Coach Prince goes for two. Amazingly, Jermaine Moreira was able to score on a reverse bringing the Purple to within three. The nubbers followed with a field goal of their own to go back up by six. But the ‘Cats came right back and with 5:21 to go, Jeff Snodgrass pulled K-State back to within three on a 39 yard field goal.
The nebraska offense was able to get two first downs prior to a herbie false start penalty on third & short that ended the drive at the KSU 48. The ball was punted out of bounds at the 16 yard line. So with no time outs left and 2:19 on the clock, the ‘Cats had one more chance….
Josh & Co. moved the ball down to the nubbie 34 yard line converting on two fourth downs. With 41 seconds left the offense only needed a few more yards to get into field goal range. After two incompletions Josh hit Rashaad Norwood over the middle for a first down at the 19 yard line. With 7 seconds on the clock and the chains finally set, Josh spikes the ball to stop the clock.
Out comes Snodgrass to attempt a 36 yard field goal that will tie the game and send it to overtime baby.
The snap was clean but Snodgrass didn’t kick it. Dylan Meier did his best Lucy impersonation and rolled to the right with the ball. Marcus Watts, who was lined up as the left flanker streaked down the field wide open. Dylan floated a pass up and Marcus hauled it in for touchdown. ‘Cats win, ‘Cats win, ‘Cats win. It was a big big big big big Wildcat victory. [30-24]
GO 'CATS!!!!

12:27 PM  
Anonymous bhg said...

Jim Rose is a prostitute. If ISU can in here and offered him money/power/control, he'd be out the door in a second. Guy has an inflated opinion of self-worth. Proved how immature he was when he ranted about a HIGH SCHOOL KID, not going to Nebraska.

Those kool-aid drinkers better get used to recruits renigging on their oral commitments. THESE ARE KIDS, albeit talented ones, but to this point the biggest decision these kids make is what type of tux to wear to the prom.

Little bit of insanity slipping out on the rant against "fans". A lot of FEELINGS being expressed, is it menopause?

There are a wide range and degree of fans. Nebraska has a fan base that is willing to travel to other stadiums to watch them play. Cubs baseball fans show up at literally any and every ballpark on the planet, and those guys haven't been in the series since, when? Packers fans will tailgate for hours in 20 below windchill. Los Angeles although the second largest market, can't support one football team. Used to be a lot of bandwagon fans for KU/MU back in the day.

Can't we just make fun of Pederson, Callahan, Cosgrove, and Rose for a while?

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Bart from Iowa said...

Please change my last comment's last score to [30-27].
Thanks,
Bart

12:38 PM  
Anonymous bhg said...

Holy crap, Bart did you give yourself the left hand salute while writing that?

I'm finding it hilarious that someone like Bart, who had to put some time and effort, as well as dedicating a portion of his life to writing that wet dream, believe that they hold the moral high ground to criticize a fan.

I know we got kool-aid drinkers that do the same thing with comments to OWH and Lincoln Star, but I think most RATIONAL fans don't hold the same opinion.

Bart, go ahead an throw yourself in there with the fans that wear the foam corncob on his head, named his first child Tom (even though it was a girl), and his second child Osbourne. You're both clinical.

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Bart from Iowa said...

BHG,
Please go see my comments on the prior blog post.
I don't claim that all KSU fans are the greatest and I don't claim that all NU fans are classless.
Cousin Eddie was just an example of one nubbie fan. I'm sorry you are a little too sensative about this subject and that this hit so close to home.
By the way, when are you going to get the RV out of my driveway??
Clark

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I just listened to Jim Rose's meltdown over the Freeman thing this winter. AJ is right. There people have to most smug, holier than thou, superior attitude of anyone west of the Yankees in all of sport. I hope Josh Freeman kicks their a$$ on saturday.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous bhg said...

Bart,

I doubt this is the first point you've missed.

You had to devote a certain amount of time to coming up with your wet dream. And to criticize an obsession of another when you are just as obsessed is the retard calling a moron, "stupid".

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a great rant! I loved it so much I had to read it twice!

GO CATS!!!

1:10 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

You, AJ, are the anti-Jim Rose.

Keep up the great work.

Too bad for you nobody except the water brains here flogging themselves over the potential demise of one of the four winningest college football teams in History give two flying fucks what you think. You coulda been a contender.

Pissing myself laughing here.

Keep dreaming douchebags. Nebraska, historically, ain't going nowhere real soon.

LOL!

7:45 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

By the way. Great new design.

Try Dreamweaver sometime instead of leaching onto some pathetic blog site where you don't need to learn code.

7:46 PM  

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