(Boring) Husker Football News in February - What a Treat

So now I'm not Husker hating enough for some of you? Jeez, you bitch when I slam Nebraska, you bitch when I don't slam Nebraska. Have you people no shame?

In light of these recent allegations and requests, I did find a couple of Husker football nuggets to get us through the giant rain/snowstorm that is sure to kill us all in the coming days.

* As I've stated before, I follow the Huskers..but I don't really FOLLOW them. In other words, I'm not sure what the Nerd Nation thinks of this next story, so I'll have to rely on you guys. What I can tell you is what I see is going on here...which really is why you're really here anyway.

This is the case of Dave Kolowski, who's muffin-ass warmed the Memorial Stadium bench from 1998 to 2002. Young Dave is an aspiring writer, and like most of us aspiring writers, feels the need to get his story out to the masses. In this case, why not spoon feed dirt to the red-clad masses, who will give their left coconut just for one glimpse into the Husker football world?

Now I know what you may be thinking, "Holy shit, this guy is going to blow the lid off of the Husker program. He's going to name names and take a whole bunch of people down with him". Ummmm..not exactly. For you see, there is something far bigger here, something many of you outside the walls of Husker Castle may not understand. NO player will EVER..and I mean EVER take a knife and turn it on Julius Caesar in this state. Not this guy. Not some other guy. Not Lawrence Phillips. Not Eric Crouch. Nobody.

"But wait", you may be thinking. "Why is this guy going to write a controversial book if he's not going to blow the lid off of some unsavory conditions down in Lincoln?" There are two reasons good ol Dave isn't going to do that. Not now. Not ever.

First of all, Dave is a former Husker. "Big deal", you're thinking? It's the biggest deal here. Like being one of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table, or one of the Sweathogs on Welcome Back Kotter, Dave is going to be known by every single living member of his immediate society as "Dave, the former Husker." He's not "Dave, the great guy who works at Lowe's." He'll never be, "Dave, the friendly guy who works down at the bank." He's simply, "Dave, the former Husker" to his family, friends and everybody around him.

Do you honestly think he, or anybody is going to give that up? Would any of the thousands of ex-Husker football players give up that identity that follows them? Whether it's an All-Pro like Will Shields, or Shevin Wiggins bragging to the guys in cellblock A-4, this is like a badge of honor to these guys. Even some no-name, do-nothing benchwarmer isn't going to give that up.

So because of this, you're not going to, nor will you ever see the "roof" blown off of the Husker program. What you will see is lame opinions, talk about hardcore drugs like pot (this is the sound of my eyes rolling), and antics of (gasp) college age-kids drinking. Holy mother and Mary, somebody get me the NCAA compliance office on the phone right now!!!

The segway to this is the second reason Dave is going to write his book is because he is one of THOUSANDS of "shunned" ballplayers of various sports who feel he got a "raw deal" from his coach. I could literally sit here for 3 hours, and list all the names of all the teammates I played with in high school and college who either quit, or complained that their coach gave them a raw deal. Isn't it a bit naive to think that a team with 105-120 players on it isn't going to have ONE guy who didn't think Frank Solich wasn't that great of a coach, because he had him at 4th on the depth chart instead of 2nd?

Do you think Joe Dailey thinks Frank Solich got what he deserved?

I will admit that when I saw this headline in the paper, I did raise an eyebrow as to what might be inside the book. But after reading the description of it, it's pretty clear that this is just another lame attempt to bilk Husker fans out of $22.95 and bitch about how the coaches gave you a raw deal, all the while you were shocked that 20 year old kids were drinking alcohol.

And yes, it's absolutely brilliant, because not only will he get to keep his status, but he'll also sell a billion books. Props to him for milking the system for all it's worth.

* So the Huskers fired a trainer this week? Is this supposed to be news? I realize that in the old days, Boyd Eppley was on staff since the age of 7, but in case you missed it, those days are long gone. Nice to see some people still freaking out about it, as the civil war between Sunni Husker fans and Shia Husker fans continues in a bombing campaign of griping, bitching and sniveling.

* Nice to see Creighton get exposed as the proverbial mid-level frauds that they are. Is there any more example that the RPI is a complete and total joke when the "2nd best" Mo Valley team is getting thumped on the road at mighty Illinois State? Shouldn't their best win in the past month or so be a bit better than a come-from-behind win at home over mighty Northern Iowa? Shouldn't a true 8 seed be able to beat Drexel at home in front of 17,000 fans?

The NCAA tournament is great, because teams like George Mason and Wichita State can win a few games in March, and make a dramatic run. But this isn't' football people. Just because a team from your conference wins a pre-season tournament in Hawaii, or pulls off an upset or two in the big dance, does not automatically qualify other teams in that conference of being some sort of power. Truth be told, the slap-fight that occurs nightly in the Missouri Valley and other crappy fraud leagues is absolutely nothing compared to the hostile arena's encountered night in and night out by larger leagues..including the Big 12.

So yes, a Mo Valley team like Southern Illinois may be able to consistently pull an upset or two in March, and can certainly be considered an outstanding team. But don't stand there in front of a fucking yellow Laidlaw school bus and try and convince me that it's really a tricked out tour roadster that Ozzy Osborne traveled across the country in in 1982.

I might be crazy, but I'm not that stupid.

* Props to Kansas City Royals broadcaster Denny Mathews for winning the Ford Frick award, and thus entrance into the baseball hall-of-fame. I may not be able to tell you what I did last weekend, but I can vividly remember listening to Denny call Royals games in the late 70's and 80's, when it was actually OK to consider yourself a Royals fan. It's often difficult for an expansion team to create greatness, and with the exception of George Brett, the Royals have accomplished just that over the past 40 years or so. Nice to see at least one outstanding asset of the organization recognized, even when the late Buck O'Neil got the high-hard shaft.