Same Song - New Verse
"Gabbert a Husker. GBR"
First off, I'm going to assume GBR stands for "Gonna blow Randy". Whomever this Randy person is. Second, it's nice to see that as soon as I plead for something exciting to happen in the Husker universe...all hell breaks loose. First one of your best players cracks a girl in the face and gets beat down by four LPD officers on his way to a night in the big house. (Only to have the NU Athletic Department not say a peep about it...except to remind everybody they aren't going to say anything about it). And now this.
Enter yet another log to throw on the ever-growing fire that is Nebraska vs. Missouri.
Needless to say, most of you know my stake in this. I was cursed a Missouri fan since birth, and have been tossed away to scarlet Purgatory for the past few decades. So when the best player in Missouri* chooses the hick nation over my favorite team, I'm guessing you people want a reaction. I've seen you people on line....acting pretty much how I anticipated acting. I've seen you spout off pretty much what I thought you'd spout off. Yet, somehow...some way, this kid is supposed to be different. This kid is FIVE STARS*. FIVE!!!!! OK, sure he's only 17 years old and has been able to legally drive for about a year...but he's LEGIT.
Before I get to many of the obvious responses that I have floating around in my head...let me first hit you with something I've railed on before, yet something many of you partake in. And that is...the 21st century sport of obsessing over 17-18 year old boys, reading what they have to say, and following their every move in hopes they'll choose your school to attend. Nevermind some of which may decommit. Nevermind the fact that some of them may be complete busts. Nevermind the fact that some of them STILL HAVE A YEAR of high school football left. Yet regardless, many of you spend hours upon hours and dollars upon dollars worshiping at the alter of Crabtree and Lemming.
I'm not about to tell you how to spend your farm subsidy dollars, nor am I going to tell you whom to have a white-hot mancrush on. If you want to obsess over underage boys, by all means....have a ball. But you see...there is a difference between following and what many of you do. I can "follow" recruiting and say..."Wow, Gary Pinkel sure didn't bring in many running backs this year". Or, I can say, "Holy Cow, ______ ran for 248 yards against Roncalli as a sophomore. That fictitious Big 12 North trophy is as good as ours (in 3-5 years)!!!!!
Complete and total waste of time. If you want to look at the big picture on signing day....fine. If you want to go apeshit over some kid because some loser from Rivals says he's good...that's fine too. That's my take just as a general college football fan who barely has enough time to write to you 4 times a week...let alone worry about what little Jimmy Taylor from Springdale Michigan did in some scrimmage with East Marquette Heights.
The Missouri fan in me has a different take.
If you want to look at this at a granular level....sure, it stinks to have a good local high school player get seduced by evil and dedicate his life to punching women (allegedly) and beating up male cheerleaders in uniform. But it's an individual decision. He's a kid. He's gonna go where he wants to go. Good for him. If you're one of those Husker douchebags who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that knows "the real reason why Gabbert went to NU" (And that means pretty much all of you), then you take a look at yourself and figure out why you've never kissed a girl to this point in your life.
After all that however, you'll have to excuse the rest of us if we're just a TAD bit skeptical of your hype and hysteria. For you see...even if you don't realize it...we've been down this road a time or two or seventy. I will now list for you some of my favorite Husker recruiting phrases of all time.
"DeAngelo Evans is Heisman material. Completely unstoppable. No wonder KU couldn't keep him"
"David Horne is yet another in a long line of great Central running backs"
"Thunder Collins is from LA. Los Angeles!!!!! Running backs from LA are a sure thing'
"Harrison Beck is the future of Husker football"
"Curt Dukes is as savvy as they come. The next great Husker QB"
"Odell James is the top QB in the nation and he wants to be a Husker"
"Josh Freeman is the top QB in the nation and he wants to be a Husker"
"Blaine Gabbert is the top QB in the nation and he wants to be a Husker"
Are ANY of you seeing a pattern here?
I could go on and on for 3 days on any one of the 15,000 future NFL superstars that chose the Huskers out of high school...yet never quite lived up to the Herculean expectations placed upon them by the soybean people. If this was the first time we have heard this....that would be one thing..but when it happens over and over and over and over...it tends to lose it's meaning.
And no...I don't care how many "Rival" stars a player gets. HE'S 17 FREAKING YEARS OLD. Unless you're LaBron James..there is absolutely no way in hell to predict how much of an impact a guy is going to have when he's the same age as most Olympic female figure skaters.
So in the big grand scheme of things...is it MILDLY disappointing that Bill Callahan lied...I mean convinced a top St. Louis QB* to come to Nebraska? Sure, I guess. It's not like Callahan has been accused by other top QB's of breaking his word. It's not like other "top-line" QB's didn't commit to NU, only to see the complete fraudulent car dealers their coaching staff and administration ends up being. It's not like there is TEN FREAKING MONTHS left until signing day.
So yes. I'm a Missouri fan and I'm pissed about this. I'm so pissed, I went ahead and ranked 1 through 1,000,000 of the things I'm most pissed and worried about right NOW, and here is a small portion of this list:
43,325 - The first few weeks of the Sarkozy administration in France
43,326 - If Arby's still has that "5 for $5.95" special by the time I go there tomorrow for lunch.
43,327 - Will Apollo upset that squirrelly go-tee dude from New Kids on the Block?
43,328 - Will Blaine Gabbert be an All American for NU in 3-5 years?
43,329 - If the date on this Pepsi can is 5/15/07...is it still good enough to drink?
43,330 - Did I remember to wash those thick blue socks I often wear to work?
43,331 - Summer is coming. I hope we have enough bug spray on hand.
43,332 - Will the networks save Stuido 60?
43,333 - Will Rosie land a steady gig when she leaves the View?
43,334 - Did I remember to DVR that Oprah special my aunt wanted to see?
Perhaps that gives you an idea of how this is effecting me.
See ya at 72nd and Dodge!!!!!