May 17, 2007

Same Song - New Verse

So yesterday morning, I hear my phone vibrating. Who the hell is calling me before 8am? I'm married with kids...NOBODY calls me before 8am, unless a babysitter is sick or somebody has died. I walk over to my phone and pick it up. The message is simple, and the number is unlisted:

"Gabbert a Husker. GBR"

First off, I'm going to assume GBR stands for "Gonna blow Randy". Whomever this Randy person is. Second, it's nice to see that as soon as I plead for something exciting to happen in the Husker universe...all hell breaks loose. First one of your best players cracks a girl in the face and gets beat down by four LPD officers on his way to a night in the big house. (Only to have the NU Athletic Department not say a peep about it...except to remind everybody they aren't going to say anything about it). And now this.

Enter yet another log to throw on the ever-growing fire that is Nebraska vs. Missouri.

Needless to say, most of you know my stake in this. I was cursed a Missouri fan since birth, and have been tossed away to scarlet Purgatory for the past few decades. So when the best player in Missouri* chooses the hick nation over my favorite team, I'm guessing you people want a reaction. I've seen you people on line....acting pretty much how I anticipated acting. I've seen you spout off pretty much what I thought you'd spout off. Yet, somehow...some way, this kid is supposed to be different. This kid is FIVE STARS*. FIVE!!!!! OK, sure he's only 17 years old and has been able to legally drive for about a year...but he's LEGIT.

Before I get to many of the obvious responses that I have floating around in my head...let me first hit you with something I've railed on before, yet something many of you partake in. And that is...the 21st century sport of obsessing over 17-18 year old boys, reading what they have to say, and following their every move in hopes they'll choose your school to attend. Nevermind some of which may decommit. Nevermind the fact that some of them may be complete busts. Nevermind the fact that some of them STILL HAVE A YEAR of high school football left. Yet regardless, many of you spend hours upon hours and dollars upon dollars worshiping at the alter of Crabtree and Lemming.

I'm not about to tell you how to spend your farm subsidy dollars, nor am I going to tell you whom to have a white-hot mancrush on. If you want to obsess over underage boys, by all means....have a ball. But you see...there is a difference between following and what many of you do. I can "follow" recruiting and say..."Wow, Gary Pinkel sure didn't bring in many running backs this year". Or, I can say, "Holy Cow, ______ ran for 248 yards against Roncalli as a sophomore. That fictitious Big 12 North trophy is as good as ours (in 3-5 years)!!!!!

Complete and total waste of time. If you want to look at the big picture on signing day....fine. If you want to go apeshit over some kid because some loser from Rivals says he's good...that's fine too. That's my take just as a general college football fan who barely has enough time to write to you 4 times a week...let alone worry about what little Jimmy Taylor from Springdale Michigan did in some scrimmage with East Marquette Heights.

The Missouri fan in me has a different take.

If you want to look at this at a granular level....sure, it stinks to have a good local high school player get seduced by evil and dedicate his life to punching women (allegedly) and beating up male cheerleaders in uniform. But it's an individual decision. He's a kid. He's gonna go where he wants to go. Good for him. If you're one of those Husker douchebags who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that knows "the real reason why Gabbert went to NU" (And that means pretty much all of you), then you take a look at yourself and figure out why you've never kissed a girl to this point in your life.

After all that however, you'll have to excuse the rest of us if we're just a TAD bit skeptical of your hype and hysteria. For you see...even if you don't realize it...we've been down this road a time or two or seventy. I will now list for you some of my favorite Husker recruiting phrases of all time.

"DeAngelo Evans is Heisman material. Completely unstoppable. No wonder KU couldn't keep him"

"David Horne is yet another in a long line of great Central running backs"

"Thunder Collins is from LA. Los Angeles!!!!! Running backs from LA are a sure thing'

"Harrison Beck is the future of Husker football"

"Curt Dukes is as savvy as they come. The next great Husker QB"

"Odell James is the top QB in the nation and he wants to be a Husker"

"Josh Freeman is the top QB in the nation and he wants to be a Husker"

"Blaine Gabbert is the top QB in the nation and he wants to be a Husker"

Are ANY of you seeing a pattern here?

I could go on and on for 3 days on any one of the 15,000 future NFL superstars that chose the Huskers out of high school...yet never quite lived up to the Herculean expectations placed upon them by the soybean people. If this was the first time we have heard this....that would be one thing..but when it happens over and over and over and tends to lose it's meaning.

And no...I don't care how many "Rival" stars a player gets. HE'S 17 FREAKING YEARS OLD. Unless you're LaBron James..there is absolutely no way in hell to predict how much of an impact a guy is going to have when he's the same age as most Olympic female figure skaters.

So in the big grand scheme of it MILDLY disappointing that Bill Callahan lied...I mean convinced a top St. Louis QB* to come to Nebraska? Sure, I guess. It's not like Callahan has been accused by other top QB's of breaking his word. It's not like other "top-line" QB's didn't commit to NU, only to see the complete fraudulent car dealers their coaching staff and administration ends up being. It's not like there is TEN FREAKING MONTHS left until signing day.

So yes. I'm a Missouri fan and I'm pissed about this. I'm so pissed, I went ahead and ranked 1 through 1,000,000 of the things I'm most pissed and worried about right NOW, and here is a small portion of this list:

43,325 - The first few weeks of the Sarkozy administration in France
43,326 - If Arby's still has that "5 for $5.95" special by the time I go there tomorrow for lunch.
43,327 - Will Apollo upset that squirrelly go-tee dude from New Kids on the Block?
43,328 - Will Blaine Gabbert be an All American for NU in 3-5 years?
43,329 - If the date on this Pepsi can is 5/15/ it still good enough to drink?
43,330 - Did I remember to wash those thick blue socks I often wear to work?
43,331 - Summer is coming. I hope we have enough bug spray on hand.
43,332 - Will the networks save Stuido 60?
43,333 - Will Rosie land a steady gig when she leaves the View?
43,334 - Did I remember to DVR that Oprah special my aunt wanted to see?

Perhaps that gives you an idea of how this is effecting me.

See ya at 72nd and Dodge!!!!!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahman Green is a stud and will be a Husker.

Tommie Frazier is going to be the best QB ever at NU!

Demorrio Williams will dominate as a Linebacker.

You see, for ever player that busts in Lincoln, there is another one moving up the all time rushing chart, cementing himself as one of the best college Qbs ever, and starting in the NFL..

Getting excited over a kid who hasnt even finished his JR year in high school is just plain dumb.

If this says anything, its not that Blaine will lead NU to 4 national titles. Instead, it shows that Callahan can go into missouri and take the best player in the state. 10 years ago this would mean little. But mizzou is a big threat in the North.

2:14 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

You're reaching back to Tommie Frazier? (Who by the way, wasn't highly recruited because he couldn't throw)

That's the difference between then an now. I don't remember in the 90's you people bragging on recruits. You didn't have to because they fit your system at the time.

Now, every single recruit is an All-American, and each of them is bringing along 10 friends because they love NU so much.

The song and dance has gone on for a long long time, and you guys are more guilty than anybody I know.

But hey...not shocking is it?

PS - This is going to send OHF into a tizzy...but I know one of those 3 guys. Ha.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The main reason you didnt hear that back then was because NONE of these recruited web sites existed. If Rivals was around in 95, your damn right NU fans would be overhyping players...some pan out, some dont.

It happens everywhere. Florida fans got a woody over Brock Berlin, Wake Forest celebrated the signing of CJ Leak, Colorado threw a parade when they landed Marcus Houston and FSU worshiped Dan Kendra.

For everyone one of those guys, there is a Reggie Bush, Adrian Peterson and Ahman Green. Highly rated kids who dont bomb.

They more top guys a team signs, they better chance they have a handful of difference makers.

On the other side, college football is full kids who werent heavily recruited become stars. Troy Smith is a prime example.

Not sure why you think this is exclusive to Nebraska.

THE MAIN ISSUE HERE is that THE BEST PLAYER IN MISSOURI left the state. If Pinkel pulled the #1 player out of NEB, a player the Huskers wanted badly, I would be very upset.

4:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eric Crouch will win the Heisman at Nebraska.


Zac Taylor will lead NU to the Big 12 North Championship in 2006.


Missouri will still suck at football.


7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny blog. If I lived in Omaha I'd like to watch the NU/Mizzou game with you. You'd probably want to cut my head off. LOL

Take care bro.

7:53 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

Wait, so you write seventeen paragraphs talking about how you don't care? Obviously it's more than slightly annoying to you, or you wouldn't have taken the time to write so much about how it doesn't matter. Lots of these kids do turn out to be busts, but lots of them live up to the hype. That's how college football recruiting is. I can't help but think that if this kid had chosen Mizzou, you would have written a 75 page diatribe about how great he will be.

8:14 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

- I wouldn't cut your head off. I have lots of friends who are NU fans...I watch lots of football with them. Just not agaisnt my team. (After a while, most don't invite me anyway)

- Did you call me a "fag"? Nice to see social intolerance is alive and well in Husker Nation. I was going to delete the comment, but I want everybody else to see what I'm dealing with here.

- The other guy who made some nice comments that ended with "if Mizzou pulled the #1 player in Nebraska...."

Seriously...a good argument. However, the difference is...Missouri has Two major metros and 3x as many players to choose from (or more, since Columbia has their share of good high school players.) Meanwhile, Nebraska is good for MAYBE 3-5 D1 players maximum at best.

It's apples and oranges because of geography. HOwever, you made a good point without going to the gaybashing you get props from me.

- One last thing. I don't care that much about Gabbert. I DO care about pissing you all off. Thus the 17 paragraphs. And judging by the replies tonight..I"m doing a good job.

Have a good night

9:32 PM  
Blogger NEBforOSU said...

AJ, you forgot the:

Marlon Lucky will win the heisman trophy.

Lets not forget sker fan, the sker nation was drooling over Harrison Beck taking over after Taylor left. And if you clam that you or your friends never though that, then your dead wrong. All of the skers defending Beck and how tall he was or his arm strength. Come on, its ok if you were wrong about him, just admit it. The same goes for Josh Freeman, the sker nation was in a tizzy over this kid, till he backed out.

Even though im not a tiger fan, I hate the skers as much as you do!

And its Ohio State, before the sker fans start with "Cowboys suck" or "Oklahoma State sucks" replies.

11:39 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I was at that bar too. In fact, I live next door to Purify and he's a great guy.

I just say this stuff for the hell of it. I know the "truth".

Whatever dude.

I'm going to believe a police report 110% of the time over a random internet poster.

Thanks for visiting though. :)

10:24 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

Hey AJ,

We thought we'd check in to see how our favorite, THUG=HAPPY FANS guy was doing.

AJ "knows" one of those three guys, yeah right, this is coming from the guy that believes that division one schools will get schooled by lower division competition, and that he was an accomplished college athlete. The odds of you "knowing" one of these guys is about as credible as the THUGS=HAPPY FANS bit.

We can safely say that AJ is for legalizing the use of marijuana and other mind altering drugs for "recreational" use.

(Hey, I played softball against Tommie for two seasons, that must mean that I'm his best buddy. Hey I used to hunt by Connealy's ranch, what does that get me? I played against Rathman, what kind of street cred does that get me? I.M. Hipp came to my grade school, what does that get me? I sat next to and visited with Dave Remington in the airport before he headed off to Cincy, what does that get me? I worked with Raemakers and he was on the company softball team, blah, blah, blah, blah. I talk to two former players from my era on a regular basis, that's got to make me golden. And you, probably sat down and had a beer with one of these guys and got to "know" him, is that when you discovered THUGS=HAPPY FANS?)

We haven't check you for a while, but you're as hilarious as ever. (Hey how about you telling us about how Pinkel and you work over game plans together, and how you used to counsel Norm after a big loss, now that would be hilarious and believable.)

Actually, what we're hoping for is to read your whining about letting go of "it", or THUGS=HAPPY FANS. (It's fun sending stuff to Chuck Hagel and Harry Reid, but we miss your whining.)

11:23 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Heyyyyy...glad to have ya back.

You're wrong and completely delusional as usual, but good to have you back regardless.

12:01 PM  
Anonymous El-ahrairah said...

"Demorrio Williams will dominate as a Linebacker"

He looked real good during his senior season in Columbia.

And Gabbert isn't even the best QB in the state named Blaine.

Go ahead and take a kid who completes only 51% of his passes in high school. Of course the NU offense is designed for WRs and RBs to throw most of the TDs so that doesn't really matter. However, that may change now that you have a QB who can throw over 20 yards.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Frazier was also recruited by Miami, Florida, Georgia and Florida State.

Yeah.. that's not highly recruited.

Once again you're wrong, moron.


1:11 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

The JP Milk Carton watch is put on hold for yet another day.

Also, Frazier may have been recruited by those schools...but not as a QB. Dude had the arm of a 13 year old girl. Great option QB..maybe best ever. But no way in hell would have have played QB for a passing offense.

PS - LSU once sent me one of those random college brochures when I was in school. Does that mean they "recruited" me too?

PS - How's Cali?

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nebforosu, ohio stat does suck, just ask florida how much. if it weren't for one of the worst calls in modern sports history against Miami, you suckeyes wouldn't have the title they were handed. and aj, you just sound like a guy whos team gets punched in the mouth more often than not. probably how it is for you as well, and it's obvious with a site like this. gotta a hard-on for the huskers? what a moron.
it's funny how you rag on a guy like frazier, one of the best big game qb's in college football history. Arm like a 13 year old girl? youv'e got a mind like a two year old then.

6:03 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

"you sound like your team gets punched in the mouth more often than not".

Ya fuckin think!?!?!

A guy was tackled at the ONE YARD LINE. HE KICKED THE BALL INTO MID-FUCKING AIR and OVER HIS HEAD...WHILE a pasty-white wide receiver who was in the corner all alone sprints to mid-end zone and scoops it off the fucking ground ONE fucking inch off of the grass.

What on EARTH made you think my team has been punched in the mouth "more often than not."

That's the stupidest fuckin thing I've ever heard on this site, and remember one guy last year compared it to a donkey show in Tijuana.

Thanks for stopping by, and give a better effort next time.

8:57 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - 99% of Frazier's completions were on play action after 44 straight off-tackle runs to some wide receiver standing wide open with 12 catches on the season.

13 year old girl.

Read the fuckin context next time.

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Youre talking shit about Nebraska's recruits and youre a Mizzou fan? Nebraska has had some awesome players from Mizzou. Mizzou fans would be just as excited as NU fans to get Gabbert as well. Stars definitely arent everything but some recruits do pan out. I dont know why you feel a need to hate so much. Why dont you have a blog about Missouri football or something?

I love debating college football but I dont see why you seem so annoyed because Husker fans like and support their team. What do you expect? Especially since you live right smack dab in the middle of it all. Go down to Austin and Im sure youll see the exact same thing with the longhorns that youre so annoyed by in Omaha.

Also, quit dogging on Mo purify. You dont know what happened and the people who were there do. The guy has no previous record and he didnt bitch slap some girl as you say. The situation isnt over and I dont understand why everyone feels like they need to know immediately what the consequences are. Anything to make NU look bad I guess.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget AJ the kicked play in 97' caught by Davsion was 100% illegal. Just don't tell Husker fan that.

You can not kick the ball while in play like it was. If it is purely accidental it is problem Wiggins admited after the game he did it on purpose, not to mention he cupped his feet together in swooped them up so it was obvious as hell it was done on purpose.

11:35 PM  
Blogger willienugget said...

You also have been part of assisting another conference team win a national title. So you've proven you can help others to the top, but you just can't seem to help yourselves to anything.

You're like a Cub fan. Once the season is a couple weeks old, you have nothing to play for so you resort to pissing on others.

The funny thing, and you really must see it, is that you want Gabbert to be a Tiger for the exact same reasons we want him a Cornhusker. What would this seventeen year old kid mean to you if he just gave Mizzou a verbal? 4 stars worth maybe?

2:30 AM  
Anonymous thinkmcfly said...

Hi aj, i was wondering what kind of numbers you bring to this place?

anyhow some guy said something like this:
"We can safely say that AJ is for legalizing the use of marijuana and other mind altering drugs for "recreational" use."
i just like to say i'm an nu fan, and i'm not against it.. i mean.. i think they give out medals if you can get off your ass and do something after getting high.. meanwhile getting drunk seems to cause a sudden urge to get in your car and start driving.. effing weird.

3:50 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Purify was arrested - FACT

A girl was hit in the fact - FACT

Purify spent time in jail - FACT

Purify is a Husker - FACT

11:10 AM  
Blogger Mac G said...

Mike Rucker, Bad A$$

9:22 AM  

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