September 2, 2007

Week 1 Champions!!!!!

Wow, and you’re all out in full force now huh?

Needless to say, a lot of you decided to delay going to bed after coming home from 72nd and Dodge last night to drop me a line about how big and tough you are now that you’ve beaten a 5-loss WAC team at home. Oh don’t get me wong, I don’t expect you to act any other way. Perhaps you didn’t listen to me earlier when I said Nevada would melt. Perhaps you skipped over the part where I said their 150lb linebackers probably would get worn down a bit later on in the game. Perhaps you also imagined something I said where I picked Missouri to crush Illinois, which I certainly didn’t. You ran it up on a team that beat Northwestern last year. Wow, am I impressed. You beat a team without it’s best defensive player, and it’s top 3 offensive playmakers from last season. Whoopee flipping doo.

Let’s get a few things straight here, as you light up that cigarette after creaming your overalls off that wonder of moden-day video artistry known as the tunnel walk.

First of all, I didn’t even watch all of your game, just as you most likely didn’t watch most or any of the Missouri game. (I’ll get to them in a minute). What I did see was pretty obvious. Here are some observations.

First and foremost…DO ANY of you know how absolutely white-bred idiotic and hick it appears when each and every overweight 40+ year old in the stands does that “X” thing with their arms? Seriously, do you idiots have ANY idea what you look like? 8 year old girls softball players aren’t that lame. Granted, I never looked to you as the bastion of sophistication…but between the “X” and the raise the roof thing…you couldn’t look more white, fat and redneck. Consider that a word of advice.

Secondly, I don’t recall saying Marlon Lucky sucked. Actually..he MAY suck. Unfortunately, the Nevada linebackers, who many resemble the body structure of Tara Reid without the breasts, were falling backwards pretty much all day. It’s kinda tough to judge just how good a running back is when running through holes that are 20 yards wide. If you are absolutely STUPID enough to think that that guy is going to run like that THIRTY times a game…you’re even a bigger myopic fool than I take you for. THIRTY TIMES!?!?!? Nevada’s big bad #58 in the nation rushing defense was obviously a juggernaut, but let’s see how he does against Wake next weekend…who by the way..looked much better than a 5-loss WAC team in defeat to a good BC team.

Which leads me to WHY he ran so much in the first place. I didn’t see the entire game, but has there EVER been a bigger buzzkill than JC Keller? THAT is the guy who’s supposed to win the Heisman? He looked like Jerry Gdowski. THAT is the guy who the rest of us are all supposed to be in awe of? Did he even READ the playbook? I’ll give him credit..he was MONEY on plays where the Junior-High level defense of Nevada was on the other side of the field, and his running back was all alone. He nailed those passes, and you should be pumped. Unfortunately, JC looked like spastic 14 year old playing streetball in a cul-de-sac, jumping all around…firing the ball on whims…missing guys in traffic…or in one case..he may as well have just handed the ball to the Nevada safety. If THAT guy is going to lead you to 13-0…he’s got a ways to go. But then may have been the scary Nevada D that had him all worked up.

Finally, I bash on Clownahan a lot..for obvious reasons..but I’ll give him this…he’s at least smart enough to stick with what works..IF it’s working. He did the same thing in games against ISU and KSU last year…go vanilla when he needs to, which is fine. The problem soon as you play a team that WASN’T 1-AA 10 years ago, those giant holes may not be there..and thus the fake punts, HB options and every other desperation page out of the playbook will come out. Now, if somebody can just teach JC how to read it, you’ll be set.

You ran it up on a completely undersized WAC HOME, who was replacing nearly every skilled player that have..along with taking the field without their best defensive weapon. Wow, where’s my giant KFC bucket of crow when I need it? (insert rolling eyes here).

The game I DID watch obviously was my own team. I’m not sure where most of you get off that I’m some sort of “Mizzou homer”. That actually made me laugh. The fact of the matter is..whomever typed that is a complete fucking idiot. There IS NO SUCH thing as a Mizzou homer. Mizzou fans everywhere are the FIRST to bash their own team…unlike a certain fanbase I know, who drops to their knees and thanks God every day for having such a perfect program in which to call their own. I’ve stated this for years, and I’ll do it again right now..just because you’re drunk with myopia about the greatness of your team, does not mean that others are. We’re called normal fans, and we don’t spank it to an Alan Parson Projects song. (Despite the fact you stole it)

Let me sum up the Missouri game like this: Aren’t you all more interested in Rival Stars than actual game scores? Ok, if tha’ts the case…then tell me what happens when Ron Zook pulls in 2 5-star and 5 4-star recruits a year ago? Why were they ranked in the top 30 in recruiting the last two years…yet where was Nevada? (Nevada was 87th in the country in 2006 and 84th in 2007)

So if Rivals stars mean so damn much, and they obviously do to 99% of do you explain that?

Illinois has some damn good young players. That McGee kid was extremely Brad Smith like, and I’m not sure I have to remind you or Kevin Cosgrove what a guy like that can do to your defense. This is ESPECIALLY true when there is no film on him, or nothing to even fall back on in terms of stats. With that in mind, Illinois did what most young teams with talent do…they played on emotion, and as soon as Danario Alexander handed them 7 points in the 3rd quarter, they got excited and played out their ass. However, that still didn’t mask the fact that when the chips are down, they make mistakes as they normally do. OK, Nevada played Miami tough (who was 6-6 and playing in BOISE). Why no mention of Illinois losing to Ohio State last year by 7 and Wisconsin by 6?

I’m not sure why everybody is shocked by Pinkel’s playcalling at times. It’s not like it’s anything new…nor is the whole “oh shit, here we go again” thinking when the other team is rallying. However, unlike previous Missouri teams, this one held together and made big plays when they had to. “Booger” still threw for nearly 200 more yards than JC 3x as many touchdowns. The Missouri offense will be fine. Hell, I even thought the defense played fine at times.

But the fact remains, a win is a win, especially when it’s over a talented young team who has a ton of young playmakers. Missouri does not win that game in recent years, which is probably why I’m the only person north of Rockport who is actually pretty happy with the results. (Especially considering the Illinois players actually looked like D1 players, and not something out of High School Musical 2. Seriously, who the hell is in charge of the Nevada strength and conditioning program? Jesus, I could start on the D-line for that team).

Things get more interesting next week. Nebraska plays a team that has been D1 for longer than 10 years, and Missouri goes on the road, which obviously according to Husker fan this year doesn’t mean shit. (Last year, home field meant everything..this year it doesn’t. I know..hard to keep track.) Regardless, special props to my CU friends for a tough victory. Happy for them to see that, as well as my KSU readers who battled their ass off in an extremely hostile environment.

I have a feeling we haven’t heard the end of how great Nevada really was….more to come I’m sure.

PS – For those of you now completely sure of winning the north, I give you two scores: 14-35 and 35-45. Those are the two early season Missouri losses to Kansas and New Mexico in 2003 and 2005, just before spanking the Huskers in Columbia. Perhaps more than 1 game is required before you and Lee Barfknecht start printing up the t-shirts.

Just food for thought, because I’m SUCH a homer.


(Photo Credit Ted Kirk - Lincoln Journal Star and Nick King - Columbia Tribune)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please explain why Pinkel went for 2 up 13-6? Honestly, thats a fireable move. What was he thinking?

Worst coach in the big 12, bar none.

11:44 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

You got me there. That was butt-ass stupid.

Luckily, there is enough talent on that team to offset some of that.

I agree with you.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aj: Good luck to your Missouri team this season. The B12 North needs to rise and challenge the B12 South. They are going to be tough to beat this year.

It is interesting to see the lovefest developing here. You have the Husker coach and your new favorite poster "Rachel" appears to have a man crush on the "Corn Ridden Shit Guy". I wish you all the best of luck.

Until next time.


11:46 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Heh...thanks. (I think)

Colorado and K-State appear to be improved a bit. (CU has a QB, K-State's defense stepped up big). You get those four teams and oh yeah..KU beat a MAC team by 40+...the north just got more interesting.

But I'm with you. The more hate and rivalry the better. That's what makes it fun.

11:48 AM  
Anonymous ohf said...

you watched high school musical 2? wow, youre more of a pedophile than i had first thought. back away from the kiddie porn in mom's bssement and do something productive for society... and your argument on illinois greatness based off highly touted freshman was comical.

1:01 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

1) I was mocking your indescribable lust for Rival stars...which by the way...was fairly accurate, considering Illinois looked like a real team and not some Jr. High team from Reno.

2) I have kids you fucking dumbass. ANYBODY with a kid between 15 and 2 has seen High School Musical 2.

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Missouri will once again suckle at the teat of mediocrity and fall apart in Big 12 play. Same song next verse.


1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh I get it. Now you're explaining away Mizzou's pathetic Defense with a Rivals argument. A Rivals argument you've dismissed categorically in the past. Have a look at the Illinois depth chart and you'll see exactly ONE freshman starter. That Brad Smith-like guy, Eddie McGee, had 2 picks and 4 fumbles and Mizzou still almost lost.


1:19 PM  
Anonymous ohf said...

just because we have what you want. admit it or spin it.

2:14 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Jesus JP, did you WATCH Brad Smith play? ANytime he wasn't torching your sorry defense (in columbia only mind you), he was fumbling and throwing picks. Shit, his fumble @CU in 2003 cost Mizzou the North. Trust me, you won't catch me talking about what a great passer Brad Smith was. He wasn't. Brad Smith lost more than a couple games for Mizzou over the dobut.

What he did possess though was a knack for changing the day with his moves. It's the same thing with this Illinois kid. And oh by the way..those two fumbles were when he first came in, and the second pick was the last play of the game.

I use the Rival star argument to show you how hypocritical you are in your kool-aid drinking ways. There is no way for you to spin it, so don't try.

OHF - THat was the stupidest thing you've said in at least a week. You have nothing I want, nor does your team.

PS - Suckle at the teat of mediocrity? I actually chuckled at that. well done.

I've told you for years..this is not a Mizzou cheerleading website. I'm well aware of their struggles and history. You act like I'm not. Please feel free to read this blog from time to time before making such conclusions.

PPS - I still think they kick your ass on 10/6.

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's one game, I'm not creaming in my overalls and cleaning it up with my John Deere hanky, but I'll say this.

1) Our O-line is much better.. Say whatever you want about Nevada, they have won 70% of their games in D-1 and played in bowl games the last 2 years and any time you bend a team over and put up 52 on them, it's not because you suck ass.

2) 3rd quarter production and adjustments way better. Nevada hung around the first half and if we don't come out in the third and pick up where we left off in the 2nd, they may stick around long enough to make the outcome interesting. The Huskers put their foot on the throat of an opponent that they should have, something they failed to do against Kansas and Okie State last year.

3) Lucky definitely was the beneficiary of an out matched physical line, but this might be a theme we see as the year goes on. Our line is big and physical and will wear alot of teams down (especially teams that don't have alot of depth up front). Don't give me the weak ass "Nevada is a 5-loss WAC team" bullshit. That was last year, this is this year and it doesn't mean shit. You are right to give Callahan credit because once we exposed a weakness in the left side of their D, we anal probed them until they bled out of it.

4) Castille should be a very good power back. He needs to learn that at this level he can't just run into a guy and expect him to fall over, but if he keeps driving his legs, he's going to create alot of headaches. He has nice balance and agility for a big guy.

5) Keller was okay, but his footwork is very good. He locked on to his receiver on the pick, but other than that, he found open receivers and was very accurate (still too many drops by the wideouts). We don't need him to be a Heisman candidate. If he gets us into the right plays and manages the offense, we'll win our share of games, his supporting cast is pretty good. Not even going to bother comparing him to Daniel, who gives a shit, he's your QB, and Keller is ours. We'll see who is better on October 6th and hoping we are both unbeaten by that time.

6) Got to get plays in quicker and give Keller time to call them and then adjust if necessary at the line. Many times there was no opportunity to audible if he needed to because there was no clock left.

7) Defense is improved and despite what the experts claimed, Bowman played a handful of plays and looked good and didn't shy away from contact. Dillard in the middle is a play maker. Octavien, if he can stay healthy and Cos uses him right will create problems for teams as well. Suh is a beast, glad he's ours.

8) Kunalic is a great add. Moving the kickoffs back 5 yards doesn't mean shit to him, he put 6 in a row through the back of the end zone (yes, many were in the 3rd quarter so they had the help of some wind, but he also did it into the wind in the fourth when his leg had to be getting worn). The 46 yarder he made had plenty of distance. He gives Callahan a whole new option inside the 35, something we didn't have last year that may have cost us the Cotton Bowl.

I don't think this isn't going to be the melt-down team that AJ is predicting, but next week will give us a better idea. Purify will be back so I'm sure if we win, that will be the focus of the next round of hatred (that and the loss of Wake QB Riley Skinner). It's fucking football and every team has to deal with injuries. I'd rather play them with all of their starters so people can't make their stupid ass excuses for why we beat them, but we've had more than our share the last few years and I don't offer them up as excuses.

Bottom line, we won the game and I can't wait for next Saturday.

Go Big Red.


(supposedly, this coming week is where we get exposed for the smoke and mirror team that we are, so I'm really looking forward to finding that out). Maybe Callahan will order butt plugs for the team so that Wake can't ass-rape us...

5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:-) I like your enthusiasm.


6:54 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Any post that ends with "butt plugs" and "ass rape" is quality.

Well done Randy

7:36 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - Funny, because I thought JC looked like Sammy Davis Jr. tap dancing in the pocket.

I thought his footworked sucked.

But that's me. They say I'm biased.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, not even an honorable mention for the "anal probed until they bled out of it" reference? It fits the ass-rape/butt-plug theme...


9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Where have all the Solichistas gone? Long time passing."

Thanks Peter, Paul, & Mary, I had the same question....

I'm sure they found plenty of things that Callahan did wrong with this win so I can't wait to hear about them.

Probably the pick-6 that Amaya took back made them giggle like little 6th grade girls, but just about the time they pulled out the picture of Frank, the Kleenex, the Jergens, and started pulling their zippers down Grix took the kickoff back 42 yards and started the beginning of the end for Nevada.

Sorry fellas, you're gonna have to wait at least another week for the next Frank jack-a-thon....

Go Big Red


11:41 PM  
Blogger Big Head said...


Zook has recruited this many years at Illinois *holding up three fingers*. Not one year, which would mean that he would have recruited only that one freshman and their class. Anyone a non-RS junior and below would have been recruited by the Zooker.

Vontae Davis, Chris Duvalt, Britt Miller, Martez Wilson, and Doug Pilcher are just a few Zook defensive recruits that came to mind that played Saturday. That's taking Juice Williams, Eddie McGee, and Arrelious Benn out of the equation because of the whole "offensive side of the ball" thing.

Basically, the only two big impact players that Zook didn't recruit are Leman and Mendenhall. He is a great recruiter. Even Urban Meyer gave him props on giving him the squad that he had to play with after winning the BCS. Not an Illini fan, but that team should be fun to watch in the next few years. Here's to hoping the Illini keep him around.

I agree with the first post on going for two. What the hell was Pinkel thinking?? Maybe in the same mindframe of kicking an on-side kick right off the bat. Bad call, and it would have been bad news if we lost by one.

8:01 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

My comments section is really going downhill. Thanks Randy.

He brings up a great point...although I think it's pretty obvious that the "Frank apologists" were correct.

See what happens when you run the ball down people's throats?


8:06 AM  
Blogger Big Head said...

My bad...

Mendenhall is only a junior, and I don't think he redshirted his freshman year, so he was recruited by Zooker too.

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ya, that's kinda how I figured they might try to spin that..

Damn, did I single-handedly bring the comment section down? It was that Peter, Paul, & Mary line that did it, huh?

Note to self.. in the future, when using a musical reference, go Hip/Hop not Hippie...


10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My bad. For some reason I was thinking Zook was a first year guy. His 4 wins in the last two years are pretty forgettable I guess and he hasn't ever done much with great talent. Too bad he didn't get to coach against Pinkel more often.. He might still be in Gainesville.


1:35 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

You're an idiot if you don't see young talent on that Illinois team. But then again.....

I think Pinkel has as many issues as the next guy..but the last time Callahan and Pinkel squared off in Columbia...Pinkel absolutely bitchslapped the GRF (C)

Unless of course you don't think 500+ total yards against the Blackskirts isn't a lot?

Who knows..maybe you don't.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous kurt said...

The last time Callahan and Pinkel met in Columbia it was 2 completely different teams. You cant even compare what happened 2 years ago with this years teams.
Lets be honest, Missou really needs to improve on defense. The offense is obviously good, but I dont see them beating Nebraska. Nu needs improvement in several areas, but is better in all 3 phases of the game from the team that beat missou last year.
I honestly would put Kansas as NUs biggest challenger for the big 12 north title this year. You have to be able to play defense.

2:56 PM  
Anonymous coach bughead said...

I think I'll order my Super Bowl tickets now to watch the Huskers and Patriots square off....woohoo we're going to the Super Bowl.

3:46 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Kansas!?!? What the fuck?

Are you on crack? Granted, the fat man knows what he's doing..and granted their 3rd string QB pup up 9,000 yards on teh blackskirts in Lincoln last year...but good fucking night come on.

I love how Mizzou flat out sucks now...despite the fact that NOBODY knows how good Illinois will be. Same for NU...could Nevada go 2-10? They sure as hell could. Could Illinois go 8-4, 9-3? Sure, since Bowling Green beat Minnesota, Iowa struggled with Northern Illinois and you saw what happened to Michigan.

I'm well aware of Mizzou's problems with expectations..and trust me....>NOTHING ON EARTH tickles me more than hearing some idiot Husker fan talk about how they're no threat.

The 94 Huskers struggled with Wyoming at home. I think it's pretty stupid to go by the performance of one game..and before you give me the sob "Brook got hurt" wasn't Berringer who gave up 32 points to a shitty WAC team in brown.

Go ahead and think they suck. Go ahead and have visions of the late 90's where Marlon Rozier runs through defenses. However, you might want to temper those a bit by the time a second fucking game starts.

That statement made my day.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it will be tough for anyone to sweep the North this year (that is, anyone from the North, it's highly likely that more than one South team will sweep their North schedule). I was surprised that K-State hung with Auburn and could have won that game (unless this is their one and done game like they had against Texas last year). The Buffs will definitely be better and by the time we play them, they'll probably be peaking again. Kansas can play well enough to keep either Mizzou or NU from sweeping and obviously one of us is going down on Oct 6th (hopefully, it's you squirrel huntin', rundown shanty with no indoor plumbing or EEE-lectricity havin', in the Ozark's livin', sister marrying, high gun to tooth ratio havin' hillbillies). Shit, did I forget to mention Iowa State.. must have been an oversight.... I know you think we suck, but we have to be at least as good as the juggernaut from Kent State, don't we?


PS. BTW, I don't really think you are a bunch of toothless hillbillies, but it always cracks me up when I see people from Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas and Missouri ragging on each other's culture and genetic makeup... Look at this from the outside.. you all live in the same area, how different do you really think you are? I know, I grew up there...

5:43 PM  
Anonymous ohf said...

ole miss 24 missery 21

7:55 PM  
Anonymous kurt said...

Seriously, aj. I didnt say that Mizzou "sucked". I said that their offense was good, but they didnt have a good enough defense to beat NU. Kansas has a better coach than MU, and I believe a better OVERALL team. Like you said, last year KU played us to overtime. Great game, I was there.

Im not basing all of this on on nu/nevada or mu/ill only. Im also basing it on last years teams and what has changed or not changed.
Nobody knows how good illinois is going to be, but you sure seem to know how bad Nebraska is, or how bad Keller is.
Missou is going to play 3 horrible football teams in nonconference play and rack up a ton of stats just like last year. Then when they get into big 12 play they will prove to be average, just like last year.
Notice I didnt drop the F bomb anytime in this post while stating my points. I also didnt say anything about you personally. amazing.

9:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow aj your big capitalized words sure make your football theories hit home. thanks for making it clear which parts of your football theories you would like to emphasize the most. that sure is good football theory writing.

12:27 AM  

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