Judgment Day Cometh
But as we gloss over all of that, it really dawned on me that none of this matters. As I’ve said from the day I started writing this blog, no one game will ever change my hatred for you or your team. If you get crushed by 80 points, or if you win by 1, the passion to witness your demise will still burn strong. I will always mock your troubles. I will always laugh at your inability to get anywhere CLOSE to where you once were.
None of this matters, because we truly are in uncharted territory. Missouri takes the field this Saturday ranked higher than Nebraska for the first time since 1969. The Huskers are now behind both Missouri AND Kansas State in the polls, and of the two teams right behind them, one has beaten their opponents by 60 points a game, and the other just knocked off the #3 team in the country.
What I’m getting at, is that there is no retreat from here. If JC and company don’t reach the ridiculously high bar you’ve set, you’ll have not only surrendered to Texas and Oklahoma, but about 4 other teams…all of whom share your same division.
And the best part? There aint a G*d damn thing you can do about it. The GRF™ just signed a 5 year extension. If you can him, not only will you suck, but you’ll be broke to boot. Regardless, Steve Pederson’s destruction of your entire program remains the center of giggles and finger pointing across the nation. Even if somehow Old Man Pearlman stopped banging Bowl Officials and fired Steve Pederson, you’d be back to square one. If you thought bouncing back from Frank Solich was hard, try rebuilding anything from the ashes left behind.
This is what is most satisfying to me. If and when you finally do burst into flames, it will be years, possibly even decades before you even come close to formidable again. And as I’ve said for years now, no group of jackasses deserves this more than you.
Nobody deserves to be ridiculed by others than you.
Nobody deserves to be kicked while they’re down more than you.
Nobody deserves to be completely irrelevant more than you.
Nobody deserves to be hated to your rotten, slime coated core more than you.
From your hypocritical claims of superiority, to your butt-ass stupid made up names for positions that don’t exist….NOBODY in this division will feel sorry for you. Will you remember those 66-3 games while the rest of the conference kicks you, spits on you, bludgeons you with baseball bats, covered with cockroaches and rolled up into the moldy piss-stained mat that covered the back bathroom at the old Ranch Bowl before you are really see where I’m coming from?
When the track meet is over on Saturday, and the goalposts come crashing down yet again, I hope this sticks in the back of your mind. I hope you finally realize that selling your soul all those years would eventually lead to your program’s demise. I hope for a fleeting instant you remember how foolish you feel being swindled by a grey-haired madman who was hired because he told you what you wanted to hear.
Your program’s demise hasn’t been avoided, only delayed.
On Saturday night, just another milestone in a series of events will kick into motion the greatest mass panic of individuals since War of the Worlds. Dishes will be smashed. Walls punctured. Dogs will be kicked and closed fists will be broken, as you once again realize that crazy blog guy has you pegged dead on.
This week is not about analyzing your performance, but celebrating your complete and total destruction. As your coal-black heart cracks in two, do not ever forget that those you’ve punished over the years will have their retribution. Not just in the short term, but for many years to come. Fake clapping, 25,000 fans invading the stadium, kicked balls, Rose Bowls you didn’t deserve all of it will appear on a laundry list of items that we as your enemy will be quick to recall.
Judgment Day has come.
I hope you are prepared.