The Bundy-fication of Husker Fan
As we saw earlier this week, Husker fans are going through a wide variety of emotions, as they quickly come to the realization that crazy blog guy has been right all this time. If you’ve been lucky enough to live here and pick up a paper, listen to a sports talk show, or visit a Husker blog (I’d recommend it..some are really funny)…you’ve seen a quickly developing common trend.
This week’s trend du jour?
Getting upset at current members of the Nebraska defense because they just don’t understand the blackshirt “ tradition.”
I understand that I may be a tad bit biased here, but let me give you all a few things to think about here.
1) Why do you people think ANYBODY outside of the 402 area code knows what the hell a blackshirt means? It’s a flippin PRACTICE JERSEY. Just because it’s a different color than the rest of the jerseys, does not make it some sort of college football institution. I actually heard people compare it to the dotting of the I in Ohio the other day. WHAT? Since when was wearing black in practices and crossing your arms a “tradition” to be envied? If people outside the Platte River Valley think of ANYTHING related to Nebraska football, they think of two things: Power running and domestic abuse. You want to “get back to tradition”, start slapping some coeds around, or at the very least be like LP and chase some kids down with your car.
2) With all due respect to my good friend Husker Mike (Who wrote a very heart-heavy open letter to Corey McKeon the other day), I just can’t help but roll my eyes in the back of my head at some of you people. Whether it’s Broderick Thomas ranting on the radio, Tom Shatel blathering in the paper, or panic-stricken bloggers….why do you people continue to believe that your defense is struggling because of some sort of lack of effort or understanding of the world around them?
Don’t get me wrong, I see obvious flaws in the GRF™’s gameplan and motivational skills. And yes, I wouldn’t exactly run through a wall for Kevin Cosgrove either. However, the thought that you think somehow that you can get into these kids’ heads and make them play better is laughable. How insulted would you be if you were one of those players, and some former player was ranting and raving at you? How would you feel if some beat-writer called you a wuss?
I’m not an expert on the youth of today, but things have definitely changed over time. Kids today don’t really give a crap about Broderick Thomas, Christian Peter, Mike Minter, DeMario Williams, Mario Brothers, Donkey Kong, or anything else that isn’t here and now. To them, Broderick Thomas is some crazy bastard with nothing better to do than talk about how great his teams were compared to theirs. Kids today know they are bigger, faster and stronger than any generation before them. (Rivals told them so) To insinuate that they don’t understand the “tradition” or whatever tells me two things. Either they aren’t buying your Al Bundy-esque trip down yearbook lane, or you have even worse coaches than even I thought. Which brings me to a final point.
3) Has it dawned on ANY of you that these kids might just suck? With all due respect to those of you into this stuff, but recruiting websites and a flood of media hype has brainwashed you into believing that your team is some sort of college version of the 85 Bears. If you would have listened to me LONG ago, you would have already known that you simply can’t lose 4 NFL caliber d-linemen and get “better” just because Jeremy Crabtree said so. If your DB’s sucked in 2006, what POSSIBLY makes you think they’ll be that much better in 2007?
Although I admit to taking mild pleasure in being so incredibly right, in no way do I feel sorry for your predicament. All the love letters in the world aren't going to help you when you have mediocre talent being lead by pathetic and inexperienced coaches.
Which brings me back to this newfound practice of bringing past thugs and criminals back into the forefront and calling out current players for being not as good. Do you think one of these kids is going to just wake up one day and go, “You know what..Jason Peter was right in between fits of rage, I’m not trying hard enough. Damnit, I'm going to tackle better on Saturday. I don’t want to let Jason down.”
Don’t get me wrong…it’s funny as hell to watch you all psycho-analyze the situation. (While the solution to your issue is simple…better players and a better coach). Please be sure to continue this trend as your spend countless hours trying to breakdown just how in the hell you’re going to get this rickety old mule to win the Kentucky Derby.
Just remember, the rest of us aren’t laughing with you…we’re laughing AT you.
* Just a quick reminder. Don’t forget that hate week starts Saturday night. What’s hate week you ask? Just sit back and you’ll figure it out. Also, don’t forget that we’ll be podcasting live from the Missouri vs. Nebraska game next weekend. I also promise to add some video interviews with bewildered Husker fans and drunken Mizzou fans when I return. If that’s not a recipe for good reading, I don’t know what is.
I’d write more, but my old high-school journalism teacher is on the phone, and he’s been screaming at me about how I’ve let him down. Sure makes me want to hit my next entry out of the park.