September 16, 2007

Sunday Morning Hangover - The Day After

Hi.

How’s it goin? Good weekend so far? Family is doing OK? Sure having beautiful weather this week.

Let’s chat a bit shall we?

Let’s go back in time if we may. Remember that time back in college when you went bar-hopping with your buddy you haven’t hung out with in a long long time? You guys used to tear it up back in the day, get into trouble, trick chicks into thinking you worked for the FBI. Remember how much fun you had going back to your old stomping grounds, checking out the local female population, and seeing what kind of fresh scenery there is to partake in? Remember how much fun that was?

And then your buddy spots a knockout blonde on the other side of the room. Just like old times, he gives you that wingman nod, as he picks his drink up and slyly walks over to her table. He’s smooth. He’s got her convinced he was part of the CIA group that captured Saddam. Come to find out, she’s a former Victoria Secret model, who is in town for one day for a sex addict seminar. Before too long, you watch in awe as your good friend is grinding with her on the dance floor. DJ Rob Base is booming through the club. Holy shit, did she just pretend to drop to her knees?

Last call, and you boy walks over to ya…”Dude, I’m not gonna need a ride. I’ll give ya a call tomorrow”. You high five and walk back to your car, still in awe of his ability to score. He’s still got it…just like old times.

The next morning, the hangover has kicked in. At noon, you franticly call your buddy to see what happened. Come to find out, she wasn’t really a former Victoria Secret model, and she was actually in town to have a giant wart removed from her back, the two of them stayed up all night watching DVR reruns of The View and when it finally did come down to business, she had a crank bigger than John Holmes.

You are that buddy.

For one magical 20 minute stretch, it was 1995 all over again. Memorial Stadium was rocking. Jim Rose was slobbering all over himself to find adjectives to describe the fluidity and beauty of the Husker offense. College Gameday was in awe of your dedication. (And NOTHING gets you off like ESPN bragging about your dedication.) Your big-time senior QB was slinging the ball around like it was nothing.

Everything was in place.

And then that cold splash of water hit you, and it was all over.

As I stated all week…that game yesterday was not a must win. Yes, just about any team that lines up against USC is gonna have a hell of a time stopping at team with that much talent. And no, I don’t think most of you thought you were going to win..but I think just about all of you thought the possibility was at least there to show the nation just how far you have come. In that respects..just as I said this week..this WAS a case where it was imperative that you not get blown out.

Whoops.

USC exposed just about every single shortcoming I’ve been preaching about here for nearly a year. I said your D-line was absolutely putrid…I was right. I said your week-1 rushing performance was an anomaly against an 8th grade WAC team? I was right. I said Sam Keller wouldn’t be able to make big plays under pressure, I was right. I said your offensive line was improved, but still light years removed from the days where you actually pushed people around…I was right.

Is it bad that Todd Pederson was your MVP last night?

I’m not really gonna pile on here right now, because a) I knew this would happen and b) I think the civil war between Frank apologists and Callahan Kool-Aid drinkers is going to flare up to never-before-seen levels. The fact isn’t that you don’t have a decent team…you do; but the fact remains that you are actually WAY worse than you were 4 years ago. Do you people realize what you’ve done? Do you realize how much that option attack and power game intimidated people?

Once again, I tried to warn you, but you didn’t listen. Now you’re going to have to face the reality that you’ll forever be known as the team who destroyed the only real thing you had going…your identity. You’re Purdue now, and I hope that sinks in long and good.

You’ll probably win a few games still this year. Iowa State still isn’t that good, K-State is coming to Lincoln and Colorado is still a few years away. But if last night showed us anything, it’s that you are exactly what I told you were: A product of your own hype and delusions. The next time you want to brag to the rest of the conference about how many 4-star players you have, you might want to pause for a moment and realize who the hell has to coach those young men. I mean..do you even think about this stuff?

I can’t wait to see what spin comes out of this, because even after the worst Husker losses in history, there’s always a spin. You’ll beat Ball State and knock out ISU at home…just in time for the biggest game you’ve faced since the 2001 Rose Bowl. For you see, this was merely a light slap on the face, compared to the pummeling of reality you’ll get if you lose to Missouri.

This is gonna be a fun 20 days.

PS – And by the way….who is the GENIUS who decided that Larry the Cable Guy should introduce your starters on National TV? I know this is kind of a running joke of mine…but seriously…what the hell are you thinking? Who is the idiot in your athletic department who goes…”You know what would be cool? Let’s have Larry the flippin Cable Guy become the face of our team”

There are so many jokes and insults here, I can’t even type.

Seriously…why do you think that’s funny?



26 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry Aj but the club and seal post said more than this entire rant you just posted.

Yes, the Huskers got thier ass kick last night but I still think that this team will be up to the task of kicking some tiger ass in Oct.

As always,
You can eat a mile of my corn ridden shit and kiss my husker ass.

P.S. I hope you save those pictures of the club and baby seal so you can use them after the Huskers win that game

9:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite would have to go to the posters on some of the 'sker message boards that are claiming the larynx injury to the poor kid from USC was faked in order to take momentum away from the 'skers and that was the reason they lost. I kid you not....faked. Stay classy Big Red...Stay classy.

9:41 AM  
Anonymous Bugeater said...

AJ, you are right. While it's probably not your intention, you may in fact be doing Nebraska fans a service by shining your light in places that would otherwise go unchecked.

9:48 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

The club and the seal was pretty funny I must admit.

You take the good..the take the bad. Just part of sports. 20 days to go.

9:52 AM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

AJ , face it , there are a lot of decent folks in the state of Nebraska, most who just enjoy the game of football and probably are doing just fine today.

Then there is 'Husker Fan' who drooled at the thought of cannibalizing the program in 2003. Those who have no shame from trashing a program that went 10-3 for the fortune 500 program that pays Bill a cool 2 million a year to trash every single Husker tradition.

Those are the fans who got what they deserved last night!

One question, where is the yardstick used to measure the success of Frank Solich who spent most of his life with the program? Why does some transplant foreigner Bill Callahan get a pass from the same standards used to fire Frank?

For the record, I could care less, it is the Hypocrisy I can't stand. It is the self serving arguments and spin and the lack of loyalty. Loyalty to our past and our traditions, Loaylty to the Husker program that brought us to the national spotlight, NOT to some used car salesman and the son of a politician!

JP will be the first to get on here and out will pour his stupidity. Where is your trash talk today JP?? Maybe you are too stupid to even be ashamed of last night?

12:31 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

You went a Husker game and couldn't find a big fat guy anywhere?

I find that hard to believe.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God I love your blog, keep up the
excellent commentary.

Much funnier then Larry the Cable
Guy, and good clean humor also.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's kind of funny (or sad) is that many NU fans judge their whole sense of self worth by how their football team is doing.

What's even funnier, is that this seems to be the main point of the Callahan era there. Win enough games to the point where you believe the "golden era" is back in sight, and then lay an enormous egg. This is gonna happen again this year too. NU will win the next few games or so, climb a little higher on the polls, get their confidence up, then lose to MU, or Texas, or K-State, or something. The end result is always hilarity.

When all of your self esteem rides on a college football team and being able to trash talk on message boards, you know you've really done something with your life.

oh, and git r done

5:44 PM  
Blogger Big Head said...

Wife beating and the suicide rate will skyrocket this week.

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent work, as always. Count me among the legions of fans watching on TV in amazement as the "classiest fans" in college football choked on their cours eof reality.

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ:

I knew you would have a boner after the Nebraska - USC game.

I hope you made good use of it because you will need Viagra to get it up after the Nebraska - Missouri game.

Go Tigers, keep winning........the Huskers will own your house.

Also, save the club and baby seal pictures, you can use them on the Tiger Board.

GBR

9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THIS JUST IN:

Pelini to Nebraska,

Cosgrove to Missouri,

And the no name Missouri Defensive Coordinator, what's his name, to LSU!

THIS ALSO JUST IN:

O. J. Simpson arrested again, and he still didn't do it!

Damn, what a sports world we have!

9:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what the best part of watching NU get their asses handed to them on national television?

Seeing all the empty seats in the beginning of the 4th quarter, devoid of the self-proclaimed "Greatest Fans in College Football."

Love the blog AJ, keep up the good work.

11:16 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

"I knew you would get a boner over USC's win"

???

Ummm...I hate to state the obvious...but did you read the banner across the top of the page? Did that perhaps give you some sort of clue?

Seriously, I respect the ability to run it after a win or a loss...but at least try next time.

That was a brutal attempt.

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't remember the last time the myopic herd emptied the stands during a home game. Even when the Huskers played a mediocre Oklahoma back in the 90's with a -17 temperature at game time...the stadium remained full to the end.

USC played well and called the dogs off in the 4th...even allowed a couple sympathy touchdowns...The Huskers...4 more losses down the road. Now that I think about it the contract extension and pay raise may be good for NU. They can let BC go at the end of the year and they won't have to scrape up a contract buyout. Smart move Steve P.

Have the Huskers hit rock bottom? Not yet...Years of angst and writhing lie ahead.

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Harp Seal Foundation called...they were upset with the comparison of the Huskers to their beloved Harp Seals...They know that Harp Seals are much more tenacious than the Husker Black Shirts.

How much longer til Cosgrove is gone? I think Bill is sniffing the air for a sacrificial goat.

10:05 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

Big Red Fred,

Basically ditto your statements.

I was told "some" alumni meet on Sunday morning in regards to the program. (Sounds like a repeat of Pittsburgh for Stinky P.)

10:08 AM  
Blogger TB said...

Can't remember the last time Memorial Stadium emptied early?

I can. 2003, K-State 38, Nebraska 9

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BHG and BigRedFred. You were right, I was wrong. I've lied about everything. I'm really a 12 year old girl who moved with her parents from the outskirts of Lincoln to Califormia.

AJ, good luck with the blog.

I hereby quit you all. Save your responses because I won't be back to read them.

JP

p.s. you win, I lose

12:17 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Oh come on now.

Suck it up.

1:31 PM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

JP , I apoligize for the name calling. No offense intended.

And debates are never a matter of 'win or lose' , it is about the exchange of ideas and expanding ones mind. We can become better people because of it. It is only when we close our minds and exclude folks for what they hold dear do we lose.

Stick around, there is a long year of good football ahead of us. As a husker , Frank Solich took the biggest lumps of all and look what he did. He picked himself back up and started all over. That is what we all must do in life. Never give up.

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ,
I took your advice and popped on "Unsportsmanlike Conduct" on 1620 out of Omaha.
Mizzou should just go ahead and forfeit the game on Oct. 6th to the Huskers, because we don't have a chance....

Effin Knobbers...........

3:26 PM  
Blogger NEBforOSU said...

From Husker Ill.

"I'm really sick of hearing about all these awesome recruits our staff has been landing as an excuse to give the coaches the benefit of the doubt.

Either Rivals over rated about 95% of our recruits or our coaches don't know what they're doing once the game starts. "

ROFL!!

Some sker fans are so lost.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

Nice post AJ. I could almost see the shine in your eyes and the look of glee as you were typing. Were I able to attach a photo, I would do so. Maybe I might have to in my blog. Anyway, what I found most interesting was this:

"For you see, this was merely a light slap on the face, compared to the pummeling of reality you’ll get if you lose to Missouri."

So, you're saying we got a shot to win :)

8:45 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Dude...

I once sat through a complete downpour only to watch Bowling Green put up 51 points and 600 yards on Mizzou.

Anything is possible. Do I think you will win? Ummmm no. Would it shock me if Mizzou blew it? Ummmmm no.

9:16 PM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

Well, you are a Misery fan, so I know you guys, much like my brother (a big Cubbie fan), are always on the look out for the drop of that other shoe.

Even after that horrific beatdown, I still give us a shot to run the table in the North, take one loss to Texas in the south, and win the Big XII north.....which--as a Missouri fan must know--is much like kissing your sister.

11:10 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Listed on BlogShares