September 12, 2007

Something Wicked This Way Comes

You can always tell when things are a little bit off kilter here in Husker land. Normally, radio call-in shows and newspaper articles are filled with tunnel walk debates, recruiting talk and mild discussion on just how bad JC and company are going to light up whatever defense happens to be on the other side of the ball during that weeks upcoming Saturday.

This week however is a bit different.

Instead of the usual blathering about the point spread or how you're going to run over another 8th grade CYO team dressed in WAC colors, there is lukewarm mix of fear, myopia and apprehension. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't really want to take on USC home, away or in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart in Nashville. However, I believe that the realization is starting to sink in that you actually have to take on these guys with the stellar personnel that you have now.

Now again, I'm not stupid. I'm big on home field in college football. I'm well aware that wacky things tend to happen when bad teams host good teams. USC is one of the top teams in the country. You are not. However, I know that with 85,000 Larry the Cable Guy fans doing hog calls in unison, it may create a rather unpleasant environment for John David Booty and company. In this regard, I think the sea of hicks will be a certain neutralizer for the fact that they have third string tailbacks who could probably start on your defensive line.

However, let's not kid ourselves here. USC is the most dominant program in college football over the past 5 years and should treat you like Richard Simmons at his UFC debut bout. Despite the reigning Scout Team Player of the Year, JC's happy feet and finesse throwing style better be mobile, because forcing balls into a swarming mass of 5-star DB's (that's all that matters right?) isn't going to cut it. Besides, it's not like he's thrown 5 picks or something against the Trojans before right?

USC has a history of playing down to competition, so I therefore don't see a 55-10 blowout that appears so blatantly on paper. Although LSU is breathing down their necks, look for USC to roll by the 2nd quarter, and the excuses and sniping to begin between Husker fans by halftime. Actually, I'm not even that excited to watch this game, because Pete Carroll isn't one who is going to stop on the pedal and put the wood to NU. Once he gets the lead..and he'll get it...look for USC to throw on the cruise control as they did last year. We'll then be treated to 3 weeks of "We hung with USC" comments just as last year. I can see it coming a mile away. I felt similar last year before the Texas game, and I was pretty much dead on. We shall see.

* Speaking of the Great Raider Flunky ©, is it just me, or wasn't year four supposed to be the measuring stick of the Bill Callahan era? Didn't you guys ditch a 9-3 coach to escape mediocrity? Didn't you sell your soul and toss away your tradition for a 2-year NFL pedigree and a box of Restore the Order shirts?

I hate to be the master of the obvious, but the next 24 days or so will define your program. We all saw that you were barely better than a mid-level ACC team. (Or an upper level ACC team without a QB…however you want to spin it) But I'm pretty sure in the old days, you would not only be discussing this game without fear, but you also in no way would be a 10 point underdog. This is kinda one of those situations where out-of-control-myopia meets stone cold reality. If you get worked over by USC and if you get rolled by Missouri on 10/6, I expect the little guerilla skirmish you guys have going on within your fan base, will turn into a full blown war of Stalingrad proportions.

* Finally, despite my refusal to participate in one of the thousands of blog "round tables" that are going on, I do like the idea of a weekly power poll, so I can tell you who is good and who sucks. (Which is why you're here in the first place no?) Yes, I'm blatantly copying off of Mike and others, but it's a good way to kill the mid-week lull, and to also counteract that complete douchebag Lee Barfknecht and his snotty little comments that counteract his pathetic abilities as a writer.

We'll see how this goes.

1) Missouri (2-0)
Despite the talk about Mizzou's defense sucking ass this year, they do two things right. They score at will and get big takeaways on defense. Call me a Kool-Aid chugger or whatever. I really thought they'd lose one of their first two games…and both times, the throttle was down. If they can figure out how to grind the ball out in the 2nd half, they'll be awfully tough to beat. 10/6 will be the biggest Mizzou home game since K-State came to Columbia in 1998 ranked #1.

2) Kansas State (1-1)
I like the cat defense, although they've still got to find some weapons to surround Josh Freeman. Although the tough performance at Auburn is looking less impressive after a South Florida win, KSU seems to be only a few pieces away from getting back into contention.

3) Nebraska (2-0)
We don't need to go through this again. They received a gift at Wake, and barely beat a second-string QB who wasn't even allowed to throw the ball. This weekend should deliver the first death blow to the Great Raider Fluky experiment.

4) Colorado (1-1)
A good win over CSU and a decent half at ASU showed me that Colorado is on their way back. The Hawkins kid is a bit ragged at QB, but just wild enough to move the ball.

5) Kansas (2-0)
Before we freak out about how good Central Michigan is..let's remember they're CENTRAL MICHIGAN. They had a good team last season, but needed some pretty big breaks to win the MAC. Their bludgeoning of SE Louisiana school for girls may have well have been an interteam scrimmage.

6) Iowa State (0-2)
Absolutely brutal. Highly doubt they win another game.

1) Oklahoma (2-0)
Don't get me wrong, they're the best team in the south..but don't get too excited about Miami, who hasn't been themselves since Larry Coker gutted them like a fish. They still have the mental hurdle in the Cotton Bowl in 3 weeks.

2) Texas (2-0)
6 bad quarters be damned…UT still has the horses to beat OU. We shall see.

3) Texas Tech (2-0)
Still tough to tell how good Tech is. I only saw a half of their game against SMU, but they look like the same old Tech. I'll put them third, only because A*M looked mortal against a mediocre Fresno State team at home.

4) Texas A&M (2-0)
I really thought this team would be much better than it appears. They have talent all over and a monster home field advantage. I guess it just goes to show that Coach Fran sucks.

5) Okie State (1-1)
Who in the hell scheduled a game at Troy? TRUST ME…beware..especially with a showdown with Tech looming in a few weeks. Don't say I didn't warn you.

6) Baylor (1-1)
Don't get me wrong, Baylor is still Baylor, but they're not the worst team in the league anymore. They scored 42 points against Rice last weekend, which is about 40 more than they scored in all of 2005. Too bad they play in one of the toughest divisions in football.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I predict Nebraska shocks USC and you are never heard from again.


12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I predict either way we do hear from him again and it won't be

1) Funny
2) Educational
3) Satirical
4) Smart


12:19 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Dude, you would crumple up and die without this blog.

It's the air you breathe.

Stop denying it.

12:22 PM  
Anonymous bhg said...

You want to piss off a Trojan fan, talk about Oklahoma and LSU in the BCS championship game because the Pac-10 is a weak conference this year.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you honestly think that NU players, coaches or fans are afraid to play USC? I actually thought you were slightly smarter than that sentiment would seem to indicate.

I am not certain that a Mizzou fan (especially at this point in the year) should be calling out any part of an opposing team's defense.

Please review the following defenseive stats for NU and MU after two games (please keep in mind that neither played against an offense that would be considered good or a quarterback that would remind one of Peyton Manning or even Danny Wuerffel)

per game NU MU
pts 13.5 29.5
rush yds 156.5 174
pass yds 124 310
total 280.5 484
3rd down 30.3% 41.4%
rush ypc 4.1 4.8
comp % 41.2 56.8
pass rating 70.3 130.1

No matter how you spin that, the ability of MU's defense has been as laughable as Britney Spears' comeback attempt.

Who makes up the defensive line at MU? (DE Frankie Muniz, DT Calista Flockhart, DT Dakota Fanning and DE Haley Joel Osment) My 4 year old son's co-ed soccer team plays better defense and they usually just run around in circles for an hour.

So, it may be a bit early to label Mizzou as the class of the Big 12 North, although those defensive stats COULD improve after home games against perennial powers Western Michigan and Illinois State over the next two weeks.

Now, to prove I am reasonable, the MU offense does hold an edge over NU, but not as much as one might guess given all of the MU chest pounding - too lazy to post these stats.

P.S. The Richard Simmons UFC line...that was funny!

P.P.S. If we lose a close game to USC - I hope that NU fans would only be proud of "hanging with USC" assuming that our players left everything they had on the field. If they do, it is only the irrational fan that beats up his/her own team after a great effort (this has to include coaches as well as players, of course).


1:30 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Missouri played two BCS conference schools..both away from home. NU inflated stats by playing a 5th rate WAC team and a Wake Forest team who was starting an equipment manager at quarterback.

If the key to Mizzou vs. NU is the Tiger's ability to stop the NU defense...I like the homefield advantage in that situation...because that almost always helps the home defense out more than anything. (Any logical football fan knows that.)

Nebraska's defensive line has been equally as bad...and again I point at the fact that one of your games was at home against a high school team reflects.

I also recall in 2003 when Mizzou gave up 35 points to a lousy KU team and NU had a top 10 ranking and the nation's #1 defense. How many yards did Brad Smith have? 900?

It's a horrible matchup for NU, and judging by JC's ability NOT to handle pressure...I'd say right now you're pretty much fucked.

Thanks for only being partially smarmy in your response to actually discuss the subject.

I'm guessing we'll talk more about MU-NU in the next 24 days.

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Pac 10 is weak? You better do a little more homework on your way to Peter Pan Park there BHG.

2:43 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

P.P.S. If we lose a close game to USC - I hope that NU fans would only be proud of "hanging with USC" assuming that our players left everything they had on the field. If they do, it is only the irrational fan that beats up his/her own team after a great effort (this has to include coaches as well as players, of course).

Amen, JH.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If we start ending every post with Amen, does that mean JC hears what we are saying?

If so.."Your gf is hot, and dont throw five picks again" Amen

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The difference between the two QB's at WF is fairly nominal...

Brett Hodges 29-47-3 61.7% 270 yds 1 TD
Riley Skinner 28-37-3 75.7% 236 yrds 1 TD

Hardly the waterboy versus Joe Montana arguement you seem to keep making. The WF QB being hurt as a reason that NU won is getting tired... NU beat the team that took the field.

Also, Illinois and Ole Miss will finish near the bottom of their conference, Wake Forest will not... BCS or not, Illlinois and Ole Miss are both garbage, and they hung an average of 480 yds on you. Good luck with that.

Introducing AJ, apologizing for Missouri football in a theater near you!!!

4:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I will give you three things from your comments:

1. Mizzou has played two BCS teams away from home and won - ALL road victories are good (although wasn't one a neutral site?)

2. Mizzou definitely presents match-up issues with NU's defense and just about any other (I will be interested to see how MU does against OU)

3. Mizzou at home is a big advantage against NU - but I still think we can win

It was ONLY 900 yards for Brad Smith - it sure seemed like more as I watched in pain.

As for the smarminess, I apologize that i wasn't able to maintain the right tone for the blog, which I deem to be outright hatred. I will work harder to dislike you more and coment accordingly.

I did do just a little more defensive research (as I am much like Tommy Boy..."I've got spare time") which reminds me that Mizzou football is similar to the dump Tommy was going to take in a box and mark guaranteed; you can package and call what Mizzou plays as football...but you still have a guaranteed piece of shit.

Okay, that was hate filled comment for the day, now on to my research:

After looking at the average offensive rankings of both of Mizzou and Nebraska's first two opponents and then determining that ranking after removing the Mizzou and Nebraska game resuts the following stands out:

1. Nebraska's defense DROPPED Nevada's average ofensive ranking by 60 spots and WF's by 14 spots.

2. Mizzou's defense RAISED Ole Miss's average offensive ranking by 20 spots and Illinois by 3 spots.

And before you get carried away, it isn't like Ole Miss and Illinois played tough teams as Ole Miss played mighty Memphis and Illinois played Western Illinois (they must be a middle school team if Nevada is high school), who actually held them to less yards and points than Mizzou - talk ouch!

This blog thing can be fun!


4:52 PM  
Blogger Philip said...

PCM says

Admittedly, at the point in the season, MU NU is a toss-up for #1 in the North, but I'm wondering how you can rank a KSU team that lost to Auburn, who lost to ... *cough*cough... USF. Wake isn't looking awful now that BC and NU are in the top 21. Every team has kinks to work out, but if we're going off these first 2 games, ranking a KSU team that lost to Auburn that lost to USF above a lossless NU is, to use the word you seem so fond of, myopic.

11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As I sit here in SoCal watching the Bill Callahan Show on Fox Sports Central (brought to me in part by Dorothy Lynch Dressing) it just dawned on me..

11 of the past 39 national champs were Nebraska or USC.

Yes folks over 28% of the time in the last 39 years Nebraska or USC has won it all.


Let's see if those myopic douchebags at ESPN pick up on that little tidbit.


12:36 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...


The ability to comphrehend and analyze what you read is sorely lacking therefore proof of a degree from LNE.

I mentioned if you want to piss off a USC fan, tell them what I posted, or are you incapable of understanding even that simple line of logic.

Amazing that you want to create this notion that you are advanced in your knowledge of all things, despite being shown for what you are, a liar, and illogical. (No doubt JP was a leader in a fraternity. You're almost as bad as THUGS=HAPPY FANS, the universal truth.)

8:15 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

JP - Who gives a shit, Michigan vs. Notre Dame is on. Those are two REAL successful programs...rather than your JV match in Lincoln. (Ok, that was funny)

Dorothy Lynch dressing? yum.

PS - I specifically said this WASN'T based on games but by what I see as the state of programs right now. KSU's performance in front of 85,000 was more impressive to me in a loss than NU's performance in front of 18,000 picnic basket toting North Carolinans on a bright sunny afternoon at a high school stadium.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

I could have swore I sent a post here yesterday. :( Maybe I am mistaken.

Anyway, did you edit the power poll? I thought you initially had:

1. MU
2. NU
3. KSU

10:42 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Nope...didn't edit it.

Also, I only rejected one comment from some idiot which was the brilliant one line comment, "fag".

I don't care if you want to gaybash...just be more creative and show your redneck, hick true colors somewhere else. (Him, not you)

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did BHG say something?


11:55 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Hey, if you clowns end up throwing down..can somebody please take some video of the festivities?

I'd love to post that for promotional purposes.

(The blog so mean spirited, even the Husker fans hate each other)

12:26 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

Just don't go Texas - OU "near castration" bar fight on us. Of course, BHG will need balls for that...

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You said

"PS - I specifically said this WASN'T based on games but by what I see as the state of programs right now."

Then you go onto say

"KSU's performance in front of 85,000 was more impressive to me in a loss than NU's performance in front of 18,000 picnic basket toting North Carolinans on a bright sunny afternoon at a high school stadium."

I'm confused. So your not basing rankings on performance, but back your rankings up with statement about performances?

Also I love how you downplay the NU win against Wake Forest due to a back up quarterback. But if I recall, I do remember the Illinois starting QB Williams who was running wild on you guys went down very early in the game. His back up (true freshman) came in to promptly fumble the ball at the 1/2 yard line, fumble the next possession, and throw 2 INTS. One on the game winning drive, with a throw very similar to what Bowman picked off. I believe he ended up with 4 or 5 turnovers for the game.

But that's different because your a Missouri fan right?

1:04 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Dude...look at the name of the blog. Are you really that upset about it?

Jeez...Go bitch to a guy who actually has an AP vote. I just type words on my PC.

Whoopie doo.

2:37 PM  
Blogger bornred said...


I get confused.. are we supposed to argue with you or not? Or, does it just depend?



3:29 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

My goal is to make you mad and piss you off..yet make you feel bad about it, because I'm a nice guy.

Confusion is my weapon of choice.


PS - If it makes it easier, I think you're all a bunch of hick inbreds.


4:08 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

That's basically what I was thinking.

It's pretty much a win-win for you....You don't have to be right, because if we try to dispute you, then we are just proving to everyone what you claim we are. If we don't dispute you, then we are basically agreeing...

Damn-it!! Nicely played.

That's it, the gloves are comin' off, beotch (shit! see, I feel bad about saying that to you)


PS. I might need therapy now, thanks...

5:05 PM  
Anonymous dspanther said...

I checked the blog name, and it said nothing about hypocrisy????

I'm just kidding with you, and no I'm not upset. Although you bash my team I do enjoy the blog. It's funny, and I love reading the comments from pissed off Husker fans that can't laugh at themselves.


5:26 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Don't feel bad Randy. I've dealt with some of the most idiotic, kool-aid chugging, rancid excuse for Husker fans EVER for a long long long time. (One of my friends quit his job after Solich was fired..he was so upset. The other one named his dog Osborne)

I have a LOT of practice at this and have been doing it a long time. I've basically heard it all..heard every argument...seen every spin. It almost becomes second nature for a while.

But don't feel bad. I'm sure if I moved to Boston, would be up and running in no time. I'm just in a unique situation because a) For the most part nationwide, everybody loves Husker fans..and b) Nobody really knows you because there is no media around.

Because of makes my perspective unique. It's kind of like a guy who runs a blog against a politician and lives in his home state. Sure, nationally they may like him and respect him..but if you live in his home district, you know what he's really like.

Plus, do you know how bad Missouri football has been over the past 30 years? That didn't help my arguments much either.

8:08 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

DS - No problem. As I've stated..I've heard it all. Again, I'm not a monster..but I am an asshole. There's a huge difference.

8:08 AM  

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