August 25, 2008

And Then God Said, "Let There be Football"

With the season a mere four days away, you would think fresh ideas would flow like water cascading down a river, but in cyberspace and in live media this simply doesn't seem to be the case. Yes, as we get closer to the opening kickoff, teams seem to get BETTER. Without playing a game, coaches get smarter and players get more skilled by the minute.

However, as I’ve stated many times before, contrary to popular belief, it is extremely difficult to sit at the edge of another season and do anything other than make bold predictions. Yes, everybody is sitting pretty today, standing tall in the win column, without so much as a single blemish on their record. (Unless of course you're Nevada, but I digress). Here in the midwest, we are no different; Fans of nearly every team speak of hope, sunny days and a bevy of “what if’s” that will …just maybe…make their sporting dreams come true. Dreaming. Hoping. Wishing.

But lets face it folks…not everybody is going to have a great season in 2008. Not everyone is going to have the opportunity to go on fantastic bowl trips to tropical locations. Not everyone is going to have the thrill of cheering their team to victory at top volume with their peers, high fiving each other with an outpouring of happiness that is rarely seen outside of a publisher’s clearinghouse commercial. But, unfortunately, with every win…somebody ultimately has to lose. With every tropical bowl game, there is a trip to Shreveport. Worse yet...for every fan taking pictures at the Rose Bowl parade, another is watching a bevy of other teams play meaningful bowl games while they themselves sit pearched high on a barstool, sipping Elk Creek Water at Sandy’s on a New Year's Night on O Street.

I’ve spent the entire off-season trying to say I told you so. I’ve explained why I think you’re going to suck, and better yet…why nobody should believe you when you say how improved you are. (without taking another snap). I’ve rolled my eyes at your outlandish reasoning. I’ve shaken my head slightly as you go on and on about how your precious order has been restored thanks to a few Grant Wistrom pictures hanging in the hallway.

But before we kick off the season, and get to the real reason why we’re all here…I need to address, one more time, this deafening, yet understated theme of the 2008 off-season. While some off-seasons focus on recruiting, and others focus on “restoring order”…this year’s theme has become crystal clear…even before the previous season ended.


If you listen closely to our red clad overall wearing friends…. You might think that the talent of your players on the field pales in comparison to the talent you have hanging on your locker room walls. If you listen to these people, you might believe that Championship games from 12 years ago are more important than games played less than 12 months ago. If you listen to these desperate and defeated people, you might want to believe them in their hypocrisy, their excuses and most of all...their blind faith in general nothingness.

But why?

Why would “classy” and “knowledgeable” fans rely on something like "tradition" with absolutely zero relevance today’s game and today’s athletes? Why would a "traditionally" powerful fanbase be so giddy about an upcoming season where their current players couldn’t even make the scout teams for their best teams of the past? Why are we supposed to believe that 18-22 year old kids today would be at all impressed with the accomplishments of an era where they were watching Kids Incorporated and playing with Power Rangers?

Because with desperate times come even more desperate measures.

So how will 2008 shake out here in the land of all things corn? I really don’t know. I’ve spent the entire off-season listening to the rantings of both the delusional and the respected. And no matter who is doing the babbling, it all comes down to the same inexhaustible yammering:

“Bo understands tradition”
“Bo will get the most out of this talent”
“We got rid of our dead weight”

And on and on and on and on.

I don’t understand it. I’ll never understand it. I simply can not imagine playing football for a university, and relying on the accomplishments of past teams to somehow get me through to the next level. Seeing a picture of Jason Peter on my weight room wall (complete with spider tracks perhaps?) is not going to make me give any more effort come Saturday. Hell, even having a brand new coach isn’t going to make me change the amount of personal pride I would have in myself and in my teammates and thus make me want to play "harder". And even if I was inclined to such mind games (let's face of your players was wowed by a temporary tattoo of his own name), if I’m not surrounded by talent, what are the odds I’m going to succeed.

This is where you and I differ. Just as Husker Ike and I’s little spat last week showed, we have many fundamental differences in the way you and I view your favorite team.

You think you still have talent all throughout your program. Trust me, you don’t.
You think your problems all were Bill Callahan and Kevin Cosgrove. They weren’t.
You think you have hit rock bottom…If you think you haven’t.

Friends, take a good look around, because you will see very soon see that weeks like this…days like this…are soon to be highlights of your upcoming season. For today, you have no losses. Today you have no worries. Yes, the future is bright…or at the very least…not quite as bleak as it was watching powerhouse Oklahoma (State) waltz up and down your field like SWAC drum line. Now that you live among the ranks of the mediocre (if that), you must now come to grips with what your victories are, and how you should celebrate and define them.

I alone cannot keep giving you this advice. For you see, I have put up with your shit for decades now, and quite frankly…you have not suffered nearly enough for my tastes. Maybe if you fall to the power that is Western Michigan, or piss away at a game in Waco will you fully understand the creek in which you are paddling up with bare hands. Perhaps when just ONE of you FINALLY sees the incredible number of issues that lie within your ranks will you FINALLY see that your troubles are here are in fact, here to say.


But in the meantime, there are still lessons to be learned and debts to pay. For that …and for every single fan you pissed off and looked down upon for all those years…I say enjoy the ride.

First POWER POLL of the season:

1) Missouri (0-0) Vs. Illinois @St. Louis

The second toughest game on Mizzou’s schedule is indeed scary. On paper, Illinois lost some key players, while most of Mizzou’s talent remains. The key to this will be if Missouri can jump out front. The longer Illinois sticks around, the better chance they have. If it’s close going into the 4th, look for that Pinkel-deer-in-headlights look creep out yet again. I think Mizzou wins, but it’s going to be tough.

2) Colorado (0-0) vs. Colorado State @Denver
This is a make or break year for Dan Hawkins it would seem. The annual beer-fueled clash at Mile High has always been a favorite of mine…however, that was when CSU had some pretty good teams. Not the case this year. Look for CU to roll with West Virginia on the horizon.

3) Kansas (0-0) vs. Florida International
Gotta hand it to the Beakers…at least they’re playing a borderline D1 program. I’m sure the Orange Bowl and “Much Fizzou” shirts will be out in full force as the strongest team in Kansas sticks it to the 18th best team in Florida. (yawn)

4) Kansas State (0-0) vs. North Texas
I really don’t see what the big deal is with 19 JUCO guys. Ron Prince has a need, and he needs to get better quickly. Hell, Old Man Snyder made a living off of those types of players. This is especially important in Kansas, where there are so many JUCO’s in that neck of the woods. Unfortunately, KU and Mizzou getting stronger isn’t helping anything. North Texas I think still travels by steam engine, so the Cats will probably get a tired Mean Green when they take the field.

5) Iowa State (0-0) vs. South Dakota State
The Clones have made a living playing like crap against 1-AA teams in the past. SDSU is no slouch, having been UNO’s NCC bitch for quite some time. SURELY Gene Chizek’s team can put the wood to the Jacks like a normal BCS school right? Probably gonna be close…but you would think so.

6) Nebraska (0-0) vs. Western Michigan
I’ve broken this game down many times…but just for a reminder…remember the name Jamarko Simmons. WMU has played in some pretty hostile environments, and look for the Hicks to be a bit sketchy with all of the unknowns surrounding their team. I doubt the Broncs have enough to pull it off..but those of you dreaming about an old-fashioned 66-0 beatdown can keep on dreaming.

1) Oklahoma (0-0) vs. Chattanooga
Is this a joke? Seriously? Chattanooga is the best you could come up with? Is that really a city? Do they really have a college? Who says there is no pre-season in college?

2) Texas (0-0) vs. Florida Atlantic
You don’t hear a lot about Texas this off-season with all the hype following Tech. These are the types of years that the Horns usually thrive in…completely under the radar.

3) Texas Tech (0-0) vs. Eastern Washington
Congratulations Mike Leach, you’re Bill Snyder with Vince Gill’s hair. Peru State not available?

4) Oklahoma State (0-0) at Washington State
One of the best Big 12 games of the first week. Wazzu is no slouch, and Okie State has some firepower returning. Could go either way…although look for the Pokes to make some noise in conference if they can get a confidence boost out west.

5) Texas A&M (0-0) vs. Arkansas State
Arkansas State sucks. Texas A&M sucks less. The Aggies could be the most boring and vanilla team in 1-A this year. Unfortunately for them, they don’t play in a division where vanilla is going to cut it.

6) Baylor (0-0) vs. Wake Forest
Why would Wake take this game? I understand Baylor has won like 2 games in 25 years…but still. Baylor has a bit of talent, but Wake is still a dangerous team. After watching Nebraska waltz through their own home-field picnic-like atmosphere in Winston Salem, playing in Waco in front of 10,000 Caffeine-Free Dr. Pepper fueled Baptist fans shouldn’t be a problem for them.


Blogger Husker_Engineer said...

NU - 45
WMU - 20

Mizzou - 38
Illinois - 17

9:15 PM  
Blogger Husker Mike said...

Chattanooga was a last minute replacement for Clempson, who backed out on a series with the Sooners.

10:08 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I find it difficult to believe there is nobody out there for OU to play outside of a school that wouldn't give UNO fits.

The time should come to hold these schools responsible for their commitments, and yes this includes Missouri and their deal over Iowa.

You want to blame somebody? Blame Mark Mangino, who proved you don't have to play a single goddamn good team in the non-con and still receive the recognition you don't deserve.

7:39 AM  
Blogger NE-Jhawk said...

Blame Mangino??? The dude was trying to save his job. If his players step up, like they did, it would be the responsability of the Orange Bowl to pick someone they deem worthy.

Hate Mangino all you want because he's at KU. But put blame where it belongs. Any coach should be able to put together a schedule like KU's last year if he's in that position. I'd be more upset if he hadn't.

If you want to hand out blame you have a lot more higher caliber teams scheduling like this to get to before you bitch at Mangino.

Notre Dame, OSU, LSU, etc.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous BCS hater said...

My thought's on stopping teams from scheduling cupcakes -

A team gets 'BCS points' based on the number of wins their opponent has against other BCS teams. So, you beat your opponent, and they happen to have won 4 games against BCS teams that year, you get 4 BCS points. BCS bowl games would be based on the number of points you accumulate.

Teams that are serious about getting to a BCS game would have no choice but to schedule their OOC games against other decent BCS teams (no sense in playing Baylor OOC). There would be no sense in scheduling a game where zero points are at stake.

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Bigredfred said...

"Seeing a picture of Jason Peter on my weight room wall (complete with spider tracks perhaps?) is not going to make me give any more effort come Saturday."

alright AJ c'mon!!! Look in ANY gov't building, any school of any kind, any historical building of any kind, civilization from the beginning of time has posted pictures of it's predecessors on the walls, and UNL is no different. Your hatred skews your version of reality sometimes!! :) :)

Makes for a good read though..

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think your take on Colorado is spot on, AJ. CU should murder Colo. St., and will be undefeated heading into a weekday evening home game against West Virginia -- a game they could very well pull out.

5:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've never ever hated Missouri or its football team than I do right now. Nothing but a bunch of imbread hillbillys.

Go to hell AJ you prick.

7:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


It has been a few months since I posted on your site, I hope you and your family are well. It has been quiet the summer with all the rain and shit.

I read your shit every week and I get the biggest kick out of it but you have some problems, to name 2 you made Rachel your new favorite poster, and then in Jan. You said if I ran for President you would vote for ME and I might even win.
Then to top things off you made Gomer your new favorite poster. To me that is just fucked up, Gomer is my boss at work, and he cannot talk smack about football to save his left and only remaining nut.

But that is all past bullshit, so I will give you my take on the HUSKERS this year (I will post a score prediction each week just for you because I think you need the money and being the nice guy I am).

O.K. here is how I see the season, W=Win, L=Lose, I know you knew this but I feel better if Rachel reads this it is clear.

6)L This one is a given in my book
8)W This a fucking given even the children of the poor could beet them.
9)L Nuff said
12)W Sorry we own them and that is all I have to about that.

So there you have it. Short and simple like your SEX LIFE!

As always,
You Can Eat A Mile of My Cornridden Shit and Kiss My Husker Ass

P.S. Dis Rachel ever string that string to that tampon she lost, I miss that bitch.

P.P.S. This week it will be the Huskers 35
WMU 14

7:50 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Love that Corn Ridden Shit guy.

Welcome back

8:31 AM  
Blogger Zachary said...


One thing... Eastern Washington is a very good D1-AA team. They are ranked 7th and played in the National Championship game where they almost beat Appy St. I still expect them to lose, but it may be interesting.



9:32 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Fair enough.

They won't be beating Tech in Lubbock though.

11:55 AM  
Blogger broker0625 said...

Found this little bit of news entertaining, or thought at least had the potential to be entertaining after AJ and the other haters reply. Herbstreits 2008 Herbie Awards.

1. Household name by end of September. 1. Joe Ganz

2. Movin' on up. Nebraska
on the flip side. Movin' on down, Kansas. Thought that was funny.

3. Instant success coaches.
1. Bo Pelini

And this coming from a douche bag analyst from ESPN who hates Nebraska about as much as AJ does.

Have fun rippin' me apart about this. It's just nice to not be hated on so much by ESPN.


3:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eastern Washington lost to App State in the quarterfinals not the national championship. They also lost their head coach and staff to Washington State.

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Andy P said...


You have put some misinformation out there, especially regarding the Andy Christensen trial.

You took issue with the acquital on the basis of "a bar full of witnesses" and made it sound as if the jury heard testimony from direct witnesses to the event and still returned a not guilty verdict. NOT TRUE LIAR!

That misinformation directly contradicts the "facts of the case" that not one person saw the assuault or saw the person that perpetrated the assault, not even the victim herself.

There were no witnesses, NOT ONE witness testified that they saw the "actual assault" take place.

I am sorry that a young lady was violated. If A.C. is the responsible party and got away with it then he has to live with himself. Only he and god knows for sure.

I am sure that if the prosecuter was able to put witnesses on the stand that could testify that "without a doubt" that they saw A.C. reach under this girls skirt, that the outcome of trial would have been different.

The day our judicial system/jury system begins to convict people without any "witness testimony" is the day that anarchy reigns in this country!

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Andy P said...

You are a real piece of work bud.

For a husker hater you sure do spend a lot of your TIME and ENERGY in talking about them.

I don't care that you feel the need to trash them and their fan's.

It's sort of funny that someone with so much vile hatred toward's some object would spend so much time obsessing over it.

Get some help! You need it!

2:06 PM  

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