August 17, 2008

Down to the Wire

OK..somebody needs to admit it.

Which one of you Omaha/Lincoln media idiots decided to throw Nebraska in your pre-season top 25? I realize they give votes to everybody but the janitor who wipes down the urinals at the World Herald…but who in their right mind would think that a team THIS bad could possibly be not only better..but top tier is beyond me. They gave up 5 TD's a game and are rebuilding!?!

As the off-season hits the stretch run, we are less than two weeks to go, and the cockroaches are already out in full force. I'm not sure if you've noticed this or not, but as time runs out, the rhetoric from Husker fan turns idiotic. It absolutely slays me that you’ve been reduced to go to the, “Oh yeah, your team will never be jack” argument. Funny because 1) I’ve never been under the delusion that my team is all that great and 2) that would insinuate their own team is going to somehow climb out of the sewer and make it’s way back to the land of the just mediocre.

Now you and I know that the road back from a team so bad that it gave up 76 points against a brutally mediocre KU team is long. But to actually have the audacity that it’s your God given right to assume your throne is laughable. Why on earth are you any different than Penn State? Why on earth are you any different than Alabama? Or Notre Dame? Miami? Florida State? All of these teams were great at one time, and then slipped back into perennial mediocrity. What in the HELL do you have that these teams don’t?

No, what you had was a nice little 3-4 year run in the 90’s, where ESPN and DVD’s allowed you to relive your greatness over and over and over again. Meanwhile, the rest of the world has zoomed by you as you were stuck in neutral, kissing your biceps in the mirror. Regardless, these facts will again come to fruition in the next few weeks…and we will be right back here again…talking about another season of Husker football pathetically flushed down the drain.

Yes, the season is almost here, and once again you have no idea how to handle yourself. On one hand, you want to pound your chest and show the world that you are BACK. You’d love to tell me and the rest of the world just how big of a surprise we are in for when King Bo gets this team of highly skilled and talented players to “try hard.” But instead, you come off sounding pathetic and sad…just about every single time. Kinda like a woman in her 40’s who has long since lost her looks, but continues to preach to the world how gorgeous she is. Meanwhile, she’s sagging all over she's been pounded into the consistency of oatmeal, and her face looks like the back of a catchers mitt.

I mean just face it…your prime years are over. Now just like people who grow older, there’s nothing to say you won’t have some nice wins…maybe even go to a bowl game again some day. But still, there is absolutely NO EVIDENCE whatsoever to prove that you are ANYWHERE close to above the programs that I listed above. You simply have yet to figure out that time have changed, and so has the world around you. But still, you keep on keeping on…all the way til you drop off that cliff once again.

Pity the rest of us see it and you don’t.

Regardless, you’ll find out soon enough. But, since college football will be our primary focus over the next couple of weeks…let’s hit a few random items before we dive into the next great chapter of the 21st century collapse of the Husker football team.

- Nice to see the City of Omaha and MECA have basically sold the entire region a bag of magic beans, as their 150 million dollar facility will sit butt-ass empty for 50 weeks a year. (The city and the Omaha Royals basically told each other to kiss off this past week.) How absolutely Omaha is it to be so obsessed with ONE event (with ESPN cameras fawning all over them of course)…that they completely drove the other event that would keep that area alive out of town? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again..the Royals and their owners are not innocent here. However, the city probably should do a bit more homework before they tell the rest of us, “Yeah, thanks for money. Don’t worry about those 50 weeks per year the stadium will sit empty. We’ve got lots of great Creighton 1pm Thursday games against Illinois State in 40 degree weather to keep things hopping.”

This town is run by idiots. Always has been.

- I had a reader last week to ask my take on the Olympics and the over-abundance over coverage that NBC has shoved down our throats. Now I’m not going to lie to you; unlike many of you, I have been out of the 402 area code, and have friends in other countries who are huge sports fans. While we have great pro leagues and such, other countries simply have the Olympics as the gold standard of success in which they can strive to. (And yes, if you havne't figured it out yet, when the United States REALLY pisses the rest of the world off).

When I was a kid, I loved it mostly because I loved variety. Back then, the Olympics were really the only TV event (other than New Year’s Day) where sports took over the television for a complete day/night. Without cable...I’m not sure why I found water polo fascinating, but I did. Hell, even today it’s pretty amazing to me that in the most simplistic of ways…since their goal is the same…a table tennis player from Thailand is the sporting equal to Kobe Bryant..if even for a week or two.

Now for a while, I will admit that Olympics sucked, thanks largely to NBC’s insistence that only women watch the games and all they want to see is gymnastics and swimming. Don’t get me wrong..these events are difficult…but I don’t need to see 15 year old girls flying through the air every night for two weeks. (As was such the last few Olympics.)

However, NBC has actually hit one out of the park by putting TONS of other sports coverage on their other networks. Just the other day I was actually enjoying (to a slight degree) a field hockey game between Australia and some country I've never heard of. Now, you and I both know that field hockey isn’t a real sport, and I certainly don’t care if Australia is that good at it. But just the fact that I can WATCH this game, and not be subjected to 12 hours of swimming is outstanding.

With all that being said, not only am I not going to bitch about the Olympics, but I must say I very much enjoyed the games and really have to commend NBC for their coverage. I don’t usually hand out media compliment, so you might want to take a screen shot. I’ll almost be sorry when they’re over when I can’t get up at 3:30am and catch a Trinidad boxer taking on some dude from Uzbekistan.

- Aren’t we about due for one of your players to get arrested? Usually it’s about this time of year before some Husker freak gets full of himself, and expresses his goodwill to some woman at a bar with a right cross to the jaw. I was just thinking it has been at least a few months before we’ve had an assault or a domestic disturbance of some sort. But then again, you had wrestlers show up on gay porn sites, so I guess that will have to do for a bit.

- Kudos to the Kansas City Royals for making me care about baseball through July instead of the usual mid-May. I guess we can use that as a starting point to our ultimate goal of watching this team go .500…but alas, it’s not going to be this year. Special kudos to Brian Bannister, who went from a dominant force, to a complete disaster in just one year. Congrats Banny!!!

- I’m not sure what it is..but I really hate the Little League World Series. I’m not sure why, but it’s pretty blatant that 12 year olds should not be 6-3 and throw 80mph from 40 feet away. Now I realize that some kids are just good athletes, and great ballplayers have to be 12 at some point. But just like the whole Barry Bonds situation last year..don’t insult my intelligence by not admitting these teams are using illegal players. I mean, wasn’t the original point to watch young kids try and battle on a tiny diamond where the experience is the most important thing?

Think about how corrupt your local YMCA program is, and then multiply it by 100x when the ESPN clips come rolling in. If you don’t see something wrong here..well, I simply can’t help you.
- As you can probably remember..this is the worst time of the year for everyone. I can only say you suck so many times. I can only give you so many examples of your idiotic fascination with the past. But yet, the best four months of the year are about to kick off, and we will document each and every fumble, interception and complaint that Husker fan has to offer in 2008.
Congratulations on nearly making it through the off-season. This should be fun.


Anonymous saunders45 said...

Did anyone else catch the fact that ESPNU's Big 12 College Football Preview was sponsored by 76 (The Gas station)..... Bastards....

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Brushpile Bill said...

You need to cut the local press some slack. Steve Conroy of the Boston Herald was the only voter to put nU in his top 25. Of course now they need to fess up on why they continue to gush positive comments from practice when deep in their heart of hearts they know the huskers suck

8:50 AM  
Blogger DyslexicHusker said...

We have Dog on our side! Der Gib Og!

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steve Sipple of the Journal Star has the AP vote in Nebraska this year, and he didn't have NU in the top 25. So you're wrong again, slaver!

7:47 PM  
Blogger KSTATER said...

Here you go AJ, a Husker arrest, Romero Cotton.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You timed it right on another Husker arrest:

10:20 AM  
Anonymous corn holed said...

you have it

10:24 AM  
Blogger Husker_Engineer said...

I knew what was coming with the NoDo stadium even though I supported it. Do I like having the CWS? Sure, although I miss the Dingerville Days and some of those Crazy Cajuns. Each year it gets a little more Disney and I know the new stadium will accelerate that trend. However, and some should read this carefully and have a nice 'ahhhhh, I get it' moment, you cannot live in the past.

Borrowing from an old physics lecture (and loosely at that), systems are either moving toward order or disorder (entropy, I think?) If Omaha wants to keep the CSW -- and most of the people I know answer this as a definite yes, then the new stadium was inevitable. I am convinced that this question will get harder to answer when we see the continuing Disnification that the new stadium and the NCAA will bring. This is the system moving towards order...shiny, TV friendly, marketable order.

Staying in Rosenblatt was a move towards disorder. The renovations were 'nice', but not enough and beginning to show signs of age. The concourses resemble 4-H barns...only tighter. When you see other, newer parks of similar size (and I am sure the NCAA and ESPN have) our quaint little park in South O looked like a polished turd. Any person thinking that we would have kept the CSW for another 25 yrs with Rosenblatt (or any other park in that area) are on crack. The NCAA would have left us like Donald Trump leaves blondes at age 40.

I really hope MECA figures out a way to make the Royals happy. I really do. I like going to Royals games...thirsty thursdays kick ass and AAA baseball is decent baseball for $6-10. Like you, I have little faith this will happen....Fahey already has one foot out the door now that his legacy is secure.....

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting: Check it out. Not many teams have such a following.

AJ: Any comments?


12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Just had to pass this along from another idiot KU blog.

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I stop by occasionally to enjoy good writing and a good chuckle. I am, by no means, a Nebraska fan, nor do I despise them. Simply a fan of the Big 12.

I find it interesting how much you mention Nebraska athletes and their legal troubles. Ever heard of the Fulmer Cup? Missouri is pushing Alabama for the top spot in 2008.

Now, I'm not slamming Missouri, but I think it proves that no school is immune. Kids are kids and to pick on a certain school, while ignoring the landscape, is a bit weak.

10:28 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

You DID NOT just try and pass off that Fulmer Cup bullshit on me did you? For the 900th time...ANY blog/website that defines rape as the same as DWI has about the same credibility as Mark Mangino telling me I better watch my Cholesterol intake.

EDSBS is completely lame for blatantly stealing that concept from for people to pass it off as some kind of point of simply shows how well you pay attention.

I do not trumpet Mizzou athletes or their fans. We are horrible fans. I do not decry this...hell, I'm a big part of why we have this reputation. Again...I am not in this business to make friends or have you "respect" me for my "knowledge" or "sportsmanship".

It's not a contest, and I don't need some lame blog that finds humor in 150 farked pictures a day to tell me otherwise. Their creative writing skills (When they aren't ripping off other blogs) are right up there with Ben Aflack's acting skills.

Trust me...writing something funny every day is WAY harder than photoshopping somebody's face onto a fake body.

12:19 PM  
Blogger Husker_Engineer said...


From one of my favorite reviewers:

Good analysis....done with great humor...IMO

Of course there is one for Nebraska as well,

Some great lines in favorite:

"Nebraska’s top two returning tight ends have combined to catch one collegiate pass, but play action is your friend. My memories of the Nebraska tight end usually involved screaming at the Texas safety as Tracey Wistrom-Herrian was wide open 40 yards downfield. Can they block? Who knows? It’s not like I research this shit. Nate Swift, appropriately named only when playing against Texas, is back at receiver along with Todd Peterson. Every time you start two caucasians at wide receiver, an SEC defensive back kills one of Jim Tressel’s kittens."

although the Steinkuhler Dianabol reference is priceless too....

12:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Trust me...writing something funny.."

The first time you do, let us know ok?

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Trust me...writing something funny every day is WAY harder than photoshopping somebody's face onto a fake body."

Could you tell me these blog/websites you read that are funny 'cause it certainly doesn't happen a lot around here.

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess my point was that every team deals with legal troubles. Not that the Fulmer Cup was The Bible of who has the worst student athletes. Every team deals with legal troubles.

I realize the point of your blog - Nebraska fans can be over the top in their excitement for a mediocre (lately) program. I wasn't saying that you should be nice to them or not rip them for some of what they are.

Maybe what I should have said was that I really enjoy your approach to the things that make Nebraska unique in their blind support. I can take any of the 119 D-1 teams and prod their fans for supporting criminals on their roster.

Tell me why Nebraska fans are worse than all other fans. Not why they are similiar to all other fans.

2:21 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Yes, I'm sure 800,000 hits are from people who are completely bored with this blog. I'm sure it's all in my head.

Then again, I didn't make you read it did I?

As for the Fulmer Cup guy..didn't mean to get touchy. I understand people lose thier minds defending that blog to the death. If people love it...fine. I just find it pretty unoriginal for as much as people swear by it. But beats blogs about N*Sync I guess.

As for NU fans...they are guilty because they..unlike ANYBODY else in the country actually HAVE A SIGN on their stadium that claims they are the greatest fans in college football.

If you don't want to be held to that standard...take it down.

4:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Yes, I'm sure 800,000 hits are from people who are completely bored with this blog. I'm sure it's all in my head.

Then again, I didn't make you read it did I?"

I no longer read your 'articles' I just drop in for the replies/comments.

BTW, do you have any proof for the 800,000 hits, or is that another AJ-Ass-Fact (tm)

4:28 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I call complete and total bullshit on the "reading the articles thing." Anybody too chicken to even identify themselves by initials at the very least is a liar.

I don't give a fuck what you think. I don't write this for you or any of your friends. I don't give a fuck if you "get it" or not. I write for me. You're the douche who is spending time reading something you obviously don't care about.

I'm simply stating the fact that obviously your opinion isn't exactly the majority. When I started this four years ago, I didn't do it so ultra-witty people (who steal my bits by using the little TM sign) would like it.

You want friends, go add me to your fucking mysace page.

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I kinda agree with anon @ 4:28 here on the fact that I come here for the content but not necessarily the humor. Mainly it's just to rip on you for making bullshit assbackward statements. But, he (or she) does note that anything resembling humor is totally going to be found here in the comments and not necessarily in the actual article which I agree with 100%.

Also, if you don't give a fuck what people think why so defensive in bringing up the 800,000 hits? Obviously you care or else you wouldn't even bother with that claim. Oh, and I call bullshit as you being the first person to use tm bit on the interweb. People borrow crap from different sites all the time AJ. That's how these tubes work.

6:46 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Watching you people turn high and mighty after your worst season in history makes me smile.

The "content"?

What exactly would that entail? I hope you're not visiting your bookie after coming here. Nor do I hope you gamble away your pension because I said something would happen.

I love it when people treat this (or any blog) like it is CNN or ESPN. People like me do not get paid. I don't do this for a living, nor do I fell like I should. I simply unload my feelings into thin air, and whether or not you agree is up to you.

I will say this though: If you think it's only Husker fans who visit here...and you're all somehow united against me as some show of solidarity...then you've got bigger issues than you think.

Everybody hates you. I just speak louder than the rest of the masses. Don't believe me? That's your problem. (Once again, I do not care if you like it or not, nor do I feel the need to defend anything I say - although I will if I'm in the mood to.)

God forbid you check out blogs on your own team. There are plenty of them out there...some of which shall I say..are pretty good.

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Im with you on the Fulmer Cup deal. The points for this thing are jacked up.

#1 - player ended up charged with suspicion of possession of less than 35 grams of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of alcohol by a minor and false identification, all misdemeanors. 4 PTS

#2 - player reaches up a girls skirt for a feel. Then inturn fights the police. Charged with felony sexual assault, failure to comply and resisting arrest. 5 pts.

So player 1 gets misdemeanors, will face nothing more than probation and community service. Player 2 could spend a portion of his adult life in a state prison. but they are basically the same by 'fulmer' standards.


9:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"People like me do not get paid."

No shit, Sherlock. Those would be professionals. You're a hack (blogger/message board guy--same thing). Now bus my table before I get really mad and start discussing your future employment with the Denny's manager!

10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You think the (TM) is "your" bit?!?!

Jesus Christ your a idiot.

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You gotta check out this clip!


11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh God, not the "I do this for me" crap, again. Dude, if you do this for *you* why don't you just jot your little rants down in your "My Little Pony" notebook and leave the Best Fans in College Sports (TM!) out of it.

The only entertaining part of your blog is seeing the little 7 fans come in here week after week and wedge their collective tongues up your butt crack while you rip them a new one.

Honesty, parsing through your 10 page posts seeing you try and be cute and clever is like watching a gerbil shit a golf ball, at some point it's just too painful to watch.

In any case, keep posting but quit trying to portray yourself as anything but a huge attention whore.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Husker_Engineer said...

Blogs are fun and I visit a variety. Not for hard journalism, but for view points from folks who love their teams as much as I love mine.

I freaking hate Texas....but love 'Barking Carnival'. One of the most humorous blogs out there IMO.

I freaking hate KState, but check out 'Bring Out the Cats'

I hate Colorado, but -- well, I hate Colorado. Until some scientist figures out a way to run computers off of hemp, I am not sure Colorado will have a blog.

I also read a Misery Blog. The guys at Rock M Nation can be pretty the take off of LOLCATs.

I visit AJ's blog because I love my team and he reminds me not to be a monumental douche bag in the love of that team.

I think what some people need realize, and AJ will certainly correct me if I am wrong, is that AJ only hates the Huskers one-tenth of a percent of how much he hates 'Husker Fan'. Let's face it, 30-40 years of kicking most of our conference's asses made us smarmy ass clowns. The clapping for opponents may have started way back when with good intent. However, by the mid-90's it was a condescending golf clap.

As I have said, we are no longer relevant. That makes some Husker fans lose their god damn minds. AJ realized this some time ago and now highlights our failure and irrelevance because, are you listening, it drives you nuts that he is right. Sure, he occasionally gets shit wrong and he is a bit of a sadist, but that is largely irrelevant.

Some people blame our downfall on Solich, some on Callahan. I blame it on those godforsaken signs on Memorial Stadium proclaiming us the greatest fans. It is like that scene in Clash of the Titans where Queen Cassiopeia compares Andromeda's beauty to that of Thetis, who gets pissed and demands Andromeda as a sacrifice to the kraken. We have angered the gods and they have demanded the Husker football team as a sacrifice. Those signs should go today.

9:11 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

* Let the record show, the same anonomyous poster tried to pull one over on my by logging on about 15 different times from the same IP and basically say the same thing.

If you are anonymous poster, have your say..but you absolutely will get ZERO credit for anything you say. You want to be witty, funny and have your say mean anything to me? Don't be a puss and take ownership of what you write. It's not that hard. All you have to do is put some ititials at the end of your string of words.

It's extremely difficult.

As for the content of Captain hypocrite's posts?

Blah blah've bored me now you win. Mix in something tha that hasn't been said 900 times for a change.

Oh, and the TM thing was literal ya douche.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Husker_Engineer said...

Captain Hipocrite?

When is the open letter coming?

3:12 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

The open letter is usually posted 2 days before the season. LOok for it to be topic 1 and 1A on every Husker board prior to that day's game. Sorry to say, that's usually how it ends up.

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"* Let the record show, the same anonomyous poster tried to pull one over on my by logging on about 15 different times from the same IP and basically say the same thing."

What do you mean by "loggin on"?

If you mean I've attempted several different posting of a different variety from the same machine you are dead wrong. If you don't mean me, well then, whatever.

Trust me, if i wanted to 'pull one over on you' using computers, I'd bet I could do it....eyes closed.

As for me 'not taking ownership' of what I write. LAME. Blogs are well and good, but you were right when you guessed I'd thought of you during the MU/NU game last year, I also thought of you after the mall shootings in Omaha. I wondered *you* hadn't finally snapped. Contemplate that for a bit.

I'll not give more info about myself than I have to to someone who thinks hate is a virtue.

(Beside, if you have my IP as you claim, it ain't that hard to figure out who I am, and so you know, but the other readers of the blog don't. Let's just keep it that way.)

4:13 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

"I don't care what you say, and I'm going to prove it by checking this website 31 times in 24 hours to see what you said about me."

Whatever dude.

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Andy said...

It would be different if Nebraska fans touted themselves as "the greatest fans in college football". Sure, can find idiots and drunks anywhere.

Just like you can find 18-22 yr old college kids getting into some trouble.

But, three very well known coaches, Joe Paterno, Bobby Bowden and Mack Brown have written open letters to "the fans of Nebraska" and thanked them for their classy and respectful behavior. Paterno and Bowden did this in early 80's after PSU and FSU visited Lincoln and both won.

Brown did it after UT had broken NU's long home winnng streak in 1998. R. Williams had just had a big game during his heisman year and Brown tells Williams as they are walking off the field that he better leave helemt on as they walk off field under north stadium.

Well, Brown was absolutely shocked and dismayed that everyone in North stadium stood and applauded. They got under the stadium and the walk from field to locker room was lined with people 10 deep applauding Ricky. I was near the ropes and got a high five from Ricky William's.

Say what you want or will bud, but other people outside this state with nothing to do with program or football have also satetd "Nebraska fan's are the classiest"

So, you're a cu fan. Been to Boulder twice, 20 years ago and will never ever go back! Who are you to talk?


11:42 PM  
Anonymous Andy P said...

A big bad buffie fan that doesnt like NU. Oh no, my world is coming to an end.

a dirty ass cu fan complaining about fans! Dude, You ever heard the old saying "the pot calling the kettle black"

Look up the meaning of the word hypocrite or better yet martyr.

Cry me a freakin river

Been to Boulder in late 80's twice and have never been back. Nothing but a bunch of worthless losers.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Andy P said...

Buffs playing "almost NFL" teams the next few weeks!?!? What are you smoking? COUGH COUGH GAG ROFLMAO!

I assume you must be talking of the Moutaineers, Seminoles and possibly UT.

WV plays in about as weak a BCS conferenace as there is. Sure, they put together a nice collection of teams and have a few athletes.

But, no as you put it "almost NFL" team should lose to a below .500 Pittsburgh team!! Especially, given the fact that if WV just wins this game they are in BCS title game!

When these games were scheduled, what 7-8 years ago, maybe even longer WV was avg to mediorce at best and FSU was starting to slide. Well, WV has gotten a bit better and FSU is still sliding.

If this were a "classic" FSU team the buffies were facing I'd give cu some props for scheduling them.


As for Texas, come on dude. Just quit! Nice team, Nice athletes, but NOT NFL!

Though, I think WV is still pretty avg and FSU is a shadow of it's former self I think both teams are too much for the buffs. WV will expose buffs defenciencies on D. FSU in Tallahasse, though not a great, or even mediorce team by FSU standards is to much for this buff team. NFL TEAMS MY BUTT! But still enough to whip the buffies!

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Andy P said...

Oh my mistake, you're a missouri fan. Oh My God! Nearly as bad as cu's bunch of classless scum!

Yeah, I'd hate Nebraska to if they had beaten the crap out of "my team" so much over the years.

Yeah, yeah, I know all about missouri's recent success agaisnt NU in Columbia. Good for you and the tigers. You beat a struggling program. Not like you beat a classic NU team. Wouldn't pat yourself on the back to hard considering it did nothing for you. What has it done for you? Any championships to speak of? Any conference titles? Any rings?

Don't get your hopes up this year. Missouri will choke somewhere along the way. Could it be Lincoln?

Never know.. Might be. Missouri better play better on D then they did agaisnt Illinois. Count on seeing Daniels get blasted this yr in Lincoln. Daniels will be put on his ASS!

Take that to the bank and cash it!

3:51 PM  

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