September 15, 2006

Look how great we are!!!!!

Seems to be logical that Husker fan is at his pinnacle of arrogance today. Yes, despite the local gene pool being a little bit less convoluted with the absence of 150,000 Husker fans (who left for LA today) Husker fan is feeling pretty good.

Nowhere is that more evident in the minds of the very fans who suffer from the debilitating disease known as Husker myopia.

Roll the clock back to September 9th, 2000...when a giant wave of red locusts...mostly resembling Orville Redenbacher and Madeline Albright descended on South Bend Indiana to show the WORLD that NOBODY on earth loves their football team more than Husker fan does. Let me clarify...they showed THE WORLD how little there is to do in Nebraska and how fucking idiotic it is to pay $2000 bucks for anything that doesn't have a flat-panel and 1080 pixels in it. Word on the street is that Husker fan is set to invade a real city this time...many of whom either have no tickets...or this douche bag who actually threw down 300 bucks for USC season tickets.

There is no way I could possibly make this more clear: THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU GREAT FANS. THIS MAKES YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. Look, I love sports. I love going to games and getting crazy. Hell...I did so just last week to support my team. But me and 45,000 of my own fans are not going to hop into a jet....strike up a chorus of Hail Varsity...and CAMP out on the set of Gameday so that 5.3 million college football fans can see what a fucking idiot I am on National TV.

I've lived here 20 years, and I will NEVER figure out why it is so gosh damn important for you people to be noticed for your greatness. WHO in the fuck cares how good of fans you are or aren't? I'm a Missouri fan. Everybody hates us. Christ, we fucking hate each other. But I don't lose any sleep at night...wishing...hoping...PRAYING that some guy sitting in his living room in Vermont sees how great of a fan I am by wearing a giant piece of yellow foam rubber on my head and jumping up and down in overalls and a piece of corn in my pocket.

The very thing that you people hold the most dear...your the very thing that makes you look the worst. It's not bad enough your celebrity spokesman is Larry the Cable Guy. It's not bad enough that your mascot wears a giant cowboy hat and wears overalls. It's not bad enough that your greatest claim to fame is showing up to every game since the Kennedy administration all wearing the same sweatshirt. You people are making fucking idiots out of yourself and you're just too God damn stupid to know it. EVEN on Monday...when the obligatory LA Times columnist calls you the Howdy Doody people and makes fun of all will (on cue) throw a fit about how the media is always out to get you. (Don't's gonna happen.)


So go ahead and camp out in South Central for a good spot on Gameday. (20 bucks says somebody dies) Go ahead and pack jet after jet heading west and then brag to the world how much better of a fan than you are. The truth of the matter's not a fucking contest. We all love our teams just as much as you do...we're just not fucking stupid enough to make complete idiots of ourselves on national TV.'re the greatest fans on earth. Now hop back on your combine, buckle up those overalls and go polish up another sign you can show to people the next time Nicholls State is in town. I hope SC hangs 200 on you. Nobody deserves to waste the Federal Government's hard earned farm subsidy dollars than you.


Blogger Sam said...

20 bucks says somebody dies?

I got 50 that says you're right. And 50 more that says it happens at LAX in a standard Los Angeles greeting.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Dr. Buffenstien said...

Ohhhh all of thos USC fans are terrible, I hear that they will wait in your hotel rooms, and eat your kids.

I am going to love watching the fuskers lose this weekend, it will take some of the pain away.


1:28 PM  
Blogger something_something said...

D'you know what, I've been thinking about this and I'm actually more worried about this game than I'd care to admit. USC should by rights have this game won by the second time ESPN on ABC (a name which, by the way, was the most redundant decision in the history of television) cuts to commercial, except that in all honesty I'm deathly afraid of Nebraska winning this game, because I'm fairly sure that is my absolute worst nightmare at the moment. Fuck, even if they beat the spread, JJ Davis is sure to have one of his big patented one-man Restore the Order love-ins all next week. *faceplant*

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A point of order on the farm subisdy dollars. Those benefit the general public because of they drive down the price of food for you the consumer. The taxpayers comes out way ahead of farm subsides. Not to say most hardcore Nebraska fans aren't insane, but your views on farm subsidies are mis-guided.

1:51 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

OK..that was funny.


2:02 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

That was quite the verbal dump you just took.

If you caught Jim Rome the last two days it was hilarious.. Plenty of spirited debate to say the least, including Carson Palmer saying he didn't realize Nebraska still had a football team. I love it. There are only a handful of college football teams whose fall from elite status would garner such attention. When USC dropped off the face of the earth under Paul Hackett nobody even talked about them. Now OU, Alabama, Penn State, Notre Dame, Nebraska.. that's different.

I lived in NoCal for several years and they hate USC up there.. It would be interesting to hear the take Saturday night at the Final Final in the Marina district of San Fran.. It's the Cornhusker watch site right next to the Presidio.. Plenty of Nebraska fans there who would laugh at your sad, little blog. You really should try to expand your blog so that more than 8 douchebags (including myself) see it.

Keep up the good work.


2:12 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Ya know JP..I've thought about that. I actually did have a website that I put things on..but it was way more work than I wanted to do. might seem like it takes forever to work on this site from the sheer size of the rants...but it's pretty easy thanks to Blogger.

As far as hits and such'd be amazed. Ten times last month I had over 1,500 hits in a day. most of the time when somebody from some message board got it and linked it. On a normal day, I'm getting between 300-500 a day at the moment.

Not great..but still not bad considering it's really just me throwing words on a screen and not putting a whole lot of thought into things. (obviously)

Once I get done with the rest of my thesis, I'll hopefully have a bit more time. After the football season, I'd like to do a front-end redesign and get more fancy with it. But for's pretty bare bones.

And the most ironic thing? The 3-4 guys who used to work with me that caused me to enter a life of Husker hatred....don't even read it anymore.

Lucky you guys.

PS - have a good weekend..despite your team getting throttled. :)

2:20 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

1499 of those 1500 hits are me monitoring the enemy (you)


2:26 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Hey, at least we have Miss October, right?

4:37 PM  
Anonymous deron said...

Up mine to 100 that some dufus from Omaha gets shot. That 'Hood is nothing to mess around with.

Here is how concerned USC fan is about Nebraska...I called my cousins who are USC grads and they as well as others forgot they were playing Nebraska, and quite a few forgot that Nebraska was still a state.

Get outside the Midwest and people dont give two shits about Nebraska. That will hurt alot of Hickster feelings because you arent getting the props you need but its true. Noone really cares about Nebraska at all.

6:57 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Get outside the Midwest and people dont give two shits about Nebraska.

Get not too much outside of Council Bluffs and people don't give two shits about the Huskers. I think the furthest Huskerdumb reaches outside of Nebraska is Sioux Falls. But you're still well inside Dumfukistan.

11:33 PM  
Blogger F5 said...

The cu fan obsession with Nebraska never ceases to amaze. What a bunch of idiots you buffahole fans are. 0-3 after tonight.

9:35 AM  
Blogger MWH said...

I'm sure AJ is a girl......have to check out her profile again....YES, YES, YES........she is a girl......

9:53 AM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

.. says Sam from Bumfuck, Iowa

9:53 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Hey Luther on the NetBuffs board. (Yes..I see all)....

Jealousy doesn't not breed contempt. It breeds laughter. As in I laugh at you idiots for dreaming it's 1995 all over again.

Oh well..I'm sure we'll all enjoy chuckles at your expense tonight.

PS 41-24. Jealousy has left the building.

11:39 AM  
Anonymous The guy that would bitch slap you if he found you said...

I notice you don't have the balls to post your fucking name on your blog page. Pussy!! Ha Ha

1:50 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

My name is AJ.

It's on the fucking name of the blog.

Nice reading skilz there Gomer.

AJ <--- My name

2:37 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

what's your name again?


3:09 PM  
Blogger AJ said...


My name is Trev.

3:58 PM  
Blogger Dr. Buffenstien said...

F5, who the fuck are you talking to?

Have you not been reading AJ's blogs you half wit?

Apparently you can read scores at the bottom of your screen, but can't make your brain do the comprehension portion.

AJ, which one is "luther" on netbuffs? More "threats" from the greates fans in the known universe huh? Doesn't suprise me. I parked my SUV at the mall today and came back to see written in dust "CU SUCK GO BIC RED!"

12:11 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

uh... JP... I'm not from Iowa.

2:23 AM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

.. says Sam from Bumfuck, Illinois

8:32 AM  
Anonymous BHG said...

Open mouth insert foot.

Farm subsidies are the biggest bang for the federal dollar. The economy doesn't get a boost from the welfare state, but a farm subsidy helps create jobs. Frito-Lay employees benefit, John Deere employees benefit, Coca-Cola, and Pepsi employees benefit, Goodyear employees benefit, companies running barges up and down the rivers benefit, New Orleans (biggest port for commodities) benefits, people who eat fish, lamb, pork, and beef benefit. Those companies that supplies goods and services to these people benefit. (Been estimated, depending on who you read, that for every dollar spent on farm subsidy that 70-140 times that amount is returned to teh economy thru jobs and services to the industry and supporting the industry.)

The U.S. economy as a whole benefits because due to the subsidies, households in the U.S. have a greater percentage of disposable income to spend. (Movies, computers, TV's, and the list goes on.)

Another urbanite that can't see past the city limits.

10:58 AM  

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