September 18, 2006

Monday Morning Q and A

Man does it suck to be back at work after a great college football weekend. Despite my house almost being blown over by hurricane force winds and 1.5 inches of rain in 20 minutes...it was all and all a great weekend to sit back on the couch and watch the fireworks.

With lots of things going on, I got lots of e-mails and such away from the blog...so I figure now is as good as time as any to do a little Monday Morning Q&A:

--------------------------
Q - Hey asshole, I thought you said Nebraska would lose by 50 and they didn't. You owe us an apology.
A - I don't think I was too far off with the notion that USC is hands down..far and away..100x the football team that Nebraska is. Even if that game was played in Lincoln...USC still wins 10 out of 10 times. The one thing that I didn't take into consideration was Clownahan's decision to play it Pinkel-style. It was actually a brilliant strategy. If you know deep down that you don't have a prayer...you may as well run it up the middle and kill the clock to get out of dodge. At the same time, SC was in no hurry to run it up...and thus an over hyped, anticlimactic game was born.


Q - Hey asshole, you said there weren't going to be that many Husker fans in LA..didn't you see all that red?
A - USC wears red as well.


Q - I supposed now you're going to be pimping Missouri...talking about how great they are. They haven't played anybody and are going to get their ass kicked in Lincoln.
A - Although encouraged by their 3-0 start, by Missouri law I am required to be pessimistic about the season. You see, this is what separates Husker fans from normal fans. Husker fan is going to find ways to spin their loss into some sort of moral victory. Missouri fan is going to prepare himself for the inevitable letdown against Ohio next week...because it's a theological fact that God hates Mizzou. You won't see me running Missouri smack until one of two things happen: 1) Mizzou beats Nebraska (again). 2) Mizzou wins the north. Until that time, you won't hear anything other than tailgate smack out of me. In the meantime, consider me cautiously optimistic.


Q - The Huskers are still far and away the best team in the North.
A - Not only is that not a question, it's wrong. Truth be told, I don't think we know enough about anybody in the North to be making any claims. KSU looks to at least have the swagger of a former champion, even if they don't have the proper personnel for Prince's system. I thought Iowa State looked fairly tough against Iowa in an extremely hostile environment. Even Kansas...before they pissed it down their leg...looked 1/2 decent against a semi-tough Toledo team. (Even though both team's offense had the consistency of 3 year old maple syrup served at an outdoor picnic in the arctic.)


Q - Take away a couple of key turnovers, Nebraska has a great shot at winning that game.
A - Yes, and if Dewayne Jarrett is arrested at halftime, the SC offense would have had to go to somebody else to run up 130+ yards in the air. Correct me if I'm wrong..but didn't somebody who writes this blog tell you that you people had absolutely no answer for a guy who could probably start in the NFL as a wide receiver right now? I mean, why is it so hard to put 2 and 2 together for you people? "Well maybe if our front 4 get pressure...or maybe if we drop back 6 in coverage".....NO. No, no, no, no, no, no. Anybody in their right mind with a pair of eyes would be able to tell you that Grixby on his best day...is not going to be able to keep up with that guy. Just be thankful John David Booty was only making his 2nd career start and Reggie Bush was long gone...because despite USC missing some serious cogs from last year's machine..they still looked pretty good to me.


Q - Why are you such a prick? Why are you so hateful?
A - I'm the only person in this town who tells you like it is. I've said it 1000 times...the cult-like obsession you people have with your football team and yourselves is ALMOST noble. I mean, I whish I loved myself enough that I had to actually write death threats to some guy who said bad things about my team. I wish I had that much feeling and passion toward a single thing that I would throw down 2,000 bucks to fly half-way across the country just to watch my team get punked in a shitty neighborhood. But truth be told, I'm simply the voice of truth in your head. I'm the guy in the back of your skull who gives you that portion of doubt when you strap on some T-shirt that says, "Air Cornahan". I'm the guy you need to think about when you head out to one of the 13,043 Husker stores in this town and purchase a yellow piece of foam rubber to place on your head as you obsess over 18-22 year old boys.


Q - Who's your NFL team? I'll bet they suck.
A - The Chiefs..and yes they do. Bad.


Q - Next thing you'll try to tell us is that we should be wary of Troy. They suck.
A - Uhhhh...Troy lost to Florida State by 7 and was leading Georgia Tech late in the 4th this weekend....both on the road. GOOD LUCK!!!!


Join us next week as the Big Hick nation gets back on their feet and begins to spin the USC loss like nuclear powered washing machine. Don't roll your eyes...it's coming.


(Photo Thanks: LA Times, Lincoln Journal Star and ABC Sports)

17 Comments:

Blogger Husker Mike said...

Who knows how much Troy has left in their tank after losing those leads at Georgia Tech and Florida State. But if Nebraska sleepwalks this week, Troy will finally get the upset they've been shooting for.

11:33 AM  
Blogger A J said...

Mizzou and NU both have trap games this week. Neither should be taken lightly.

(PS - That Solich is crafty)

11:59 AM  
Blogger Kalthalior said...

You called it, I was over-optimistic about my alma mater. I thought the coaching staff would actually have a serious gameplan to at least make a game of it, but instead they tucked their tails between their legs and got out of town as quickly as possible. The Husker staff had better get a clue if they want to chalk up a W this week.

Have to agree about the trap game thing. Frank's team actually can throw the ball some. I certainly didn't expect them to play Rutgers that close.

12:46 PM  
Blogger Husker Mike said...

Uh, oh, AJ... You said the "S" word. Some people don't like that.

1:04 PM  
Blogger A J said...

"We" own Frank Solich like a 2 dollar whore.

At least I hope so.

:)

PS - JP, do you have a link to that?

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey buddy. Do you not have any friends that you have to make up questions to answer yourself? You are entertaining, but I know as well as you do, that nobody emailed you those questions. You made them up, but what else would I expect out of you? Also, you lost all credibility by saying KSU is showing that championship swagger? WTF man? Were you watching the same KSU I was? Marshall and KSU was like watching two 14 year old retarded boys slapping each other around on the playground. They will lose to Louisville at home by 5 touchdowns. Also, get your facts straight about Troy. They did not lead GT in the 4th. They were tied at 14 in the 3rd and then GT ran off 3 tds in the 4th to blow them out. (I enclosed the link for you) They are a challenge, but please for the love of God get your facts straight before talking. Have a great day AJ .

http://sports-ak.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=262590059&confId=1

3:39 PM  
Blogger A J said...

OHF - You're taking this WAYYYYYYYYYYY too seriously.

And thank you for correcting me on the Georgia Tech game. I didn't care enough to do any research on it...but I knew if anybody would call me on it...you or your fellow fans would.

Back to the drawing board for me...I would have gotten away with coming up with fake questions too if it weren't for you meddling kids.

3:45 PM  
Blogger A J said...

PS - As for KSU...they have a decent defense and played fairly well this week. (Despite getting their ass kicked next week).

The point is...KSU may not have the talent..but they're acting like they do. That's called swagger. Besides...what do you care..it's not like the Huskers haven't beaten them since the mid 90's in Manhattan. Where do you play them at this year again?

Just saying.....

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ, entertaining as always...beats the hell out of netbuffs...very depressing in buffieland...I come here for a few laughs...

12:48 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

Hey JP,

Just about everything said about the way Nebraska played against USC could be said about any patsy the Huskers played in the pre-Callahan years.

Whooptefuckingdoo.

The reality of it is that the LA media has a ton more class than the media here in Hicksville-- they could have laughed your sorry asses out of town, but they didn't... and the Felons, their Dumfukistani fans, and the moronic media personalities need to take note of it. THAT is the way to garner respect.

I remain unimpressed by the Cornholers. And would give Troy a decent shot at beating them this weekend.

But I will have to stop short of predicting a Louisville win at KSU, but only because Brohm is out.

12:54 AM  
Blogger A J said...

Hang in there Billy. Hawkins is one hell of a coach, he just needs some speed in his system. (Could his system and Barnett's system be any different?)

Yeah, I bash on Callahan because he's a horrible coach..but he wasn't responsible for all the probelms they had in 2004.

Appreciate you and everybody else on netbuffs stopping by.

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kool-Aid drinkers, look at the USC game as a stepping stone, a game of missed opportunities. "IF a interception would have fallen our way", "IF we wouldn't have fumbled...", and IF I could forsee lottery numbers I wouldn't have to work for a living.

Huskers haters, look at the USC game with great glee, and reinforcing their moral outrage. Arming them with another factoid by which they will use to justify their hatred of the program (a program they already hated before, and no matter how far it falls, will continue to hold in contempt.)

Husker realists, look at this game as a measuring stick, which proved how unprepared and ill equipped we were to be competitive in the top 20.

If Nebraska covers the spread they should consider themselves lucky.

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's another NU fan that isn't a total whack-job and can have a conversation about big red football without getting a boner.

http://www.twilightendzone.com/

He has you linked to his front page. There's some funny stuff on there, and he seems to make fun of the Corn fans that are fit for a straightjacket. :-)

5:45 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

The reason I can't predict a Louisville win with any certainty is because both Brohm and Bush are out... that's two big cogs in the lineup.

12:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

JP using your logic, we should be ranked ahead of Michigan in this weeks poll.

Get in the circle with your friends and give yourself the left hand salute.

8:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

JP, How'd that go again?

Since Nebraska beat Michigan in the Alamo bowl, a YEAR ago, and since Michigan beat Notre Dame, and Notre Dame was #2, that makes Nebraska equipped to beat top twenty teams.

Your line of reasoning, if it were factual, would mean that we should have been competitive against USC. We were not. Therefore your line of reasoning is not valid.

You defending this line of reasoning is about as entertaining as the line of reasoning itself.

8:20 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

You know, we once used JP's logic to prove that Illinois should have been the national champion... and it was something assinine like, Northwestern had beat Notre Dame, but Northwestern had lost to Illinois the week before.

Some theories are best left as ideas....

12:15 AM  

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