November 9, 2006

24 Hours and a Pile of No-Doz

A quiet Thursday night as I watch two fraud Big East teams battle it out for most overhyped football team of all time. Louisville's offensive line looks like something out of a West Omaha Pop Warner league. In the real world, teams that haven't been worth a shit for 60 years, finally playing a big home game on national TV don't win. Only in the Big East.

Anyhow, 24 hours to go until a big late-season Husker game against a ranked team, and yet again the hills are alive with the sounds of nothing. (Actually, they're not hills. It's just some speed bumps. Everything else is flat.) I'm not sure how it happened, but this week's looming Husker beat down is about as anti-climactic as they come. The Huskers have already shown they are the best shitty team in the North, and a win over A&M really only matters when it comes down to what southern American city will be overrun with pasty Midwestern farmers this December.

Nevertheless, they're going to play football on Saturday in College Station, and the matchup has all the excitement of a Council Bluffs PTA meeting. Will the hicks be able to Stop Jovorskie Lane? Will Stephen McGee be able to do something Missouri was unable to do last week in Lincoln...throw a forward pass? Will Dennis Franchione be able to solve the super-charged, unbreakable mathematical theorem that is the Husker secondary? (Gary Pinkel couldn't). Will anybody give a shit when Nebraska loses by 3 TD's? Probably not.

So in the meantime, with the Huskers out of must-win mode, and the crops already out of the ground, Husker fan has been left to ponder other questions this week such as:

- How many calories are in this fried twin's I'm having for supper?
- Are the seats on Southwest's flights to Jacksonville wide enough for my Husker loving wife?
- Why won't Zac Taylor return all my letters?
- Can I get this Mahindra tractor in a brighter shade of red?
- How come congress hasn't passed a cloning law to duplicate Tom Osborne?
- When was our last NCAA tourney win for our basketball team? (Trick question)
- If the Husker baseball team played the Cardinals, how many runs would NU win by?

As you can tell, this is really the first full week of the down cycle of college football. Teams are already starting to have senior days. College basketball is popping up on TV. Soon, we'll be watching the GMAC bowl at 3 in the afternoon, wondering where it all went. Then again, it was 81 degrees yesterday, so who the hell knows.

* It was nice to hear Trev Alberts on the radio yesterday afternoon, showing the world what a complete fucking tool he is. I'm glad 1620 decided to bring that guy back for a couple of reasons. Number one, it's probably good for him to get away from all that term life insurance talk he does all day. And two, it makes me realize what a complete douche bag he is. Worst yet, Husker fans LOVE the guy. Now in his defense, Husker fan loves him not only because of his unbridled homerisms on NCAA telecasts on ESPN. (Before he was fired). But they also love him because he was the human tackling dummy for Mark May for those several years. And if there's one thing Husker fan's when the media is against them. (Which is just about always.) Good to hear Trev again so I don't forget one of the key reasons I hate his alma mater.

* So Dan McCartney is on his way out at Iowa State. This isn't exactly a big surprise. (Unless you're a Missouri fan, in which case it's no surprise, because now they have to play another lame duck coach who's players are going to play their ass off in the final game of the year, instead of roll over.) Iowa State has been probably the biggest underachiever this side of South Beach. So what was the main topic of conversation among Husker fans today on a day when a main rival school changes leaders????

Why, discuss what Iowa State commits are going to change their mind and come back to Nebraska!!!!

There's only one thing worse than loser recruiting junky...and that's loser HUSKER recruiting junky. Is there ANY group of people that spends more time studying/worrying/analyzing/discussing the lives of high school boys than Husker recruiting fan? Don't get me wrong...recruiting is VERY important. I'm sure a great many of you probably subscribe to rivals and follow the classes. That isn't a big deal. What IS a big deal is if you know the entire senior class by first name of a high school in Ft. Lauderdale. What is a big deal is if you pay 20 bucks a month for some loser to tell you how good some kid is going to be, 7 years down the road.

Recruiting is an inexact science that is NOT meant to be taken at the most granular level. Again, I have no problem if your team gets a commit from some 6'7" inch defensive end or some QB who can throw the ball 70 yards and run a 4.4. But to actually RUN SMACK against other schools and fans about how great your recruiting class makes you a fucking loser.

I will never ever ever ever understand why people spend so much time, worrying about something that is so unpredictable and irrelevant. Instead of worrying about what Iowa State recruit is going to change his mind and come to Nebraska...why don't you figure out who you're going to have rush the quarterback next season? Why don't you worry about why your defensive coordinator can't adjust to offenses on the road? Why don't you worry about who is going to be your QB when Wonderboy Keller is done? (You do realize he only has one year right? You've seen the schedule he has to play right?)

Be pissed at me all you want, but if you spent more than 5 hours today reading about whether or not Jimbo Johnson from Albuquerque High is going to pass his math homework this're a fucking loser.

Congratulations, you are collateral damage of the technology revolution.

(And don't even get me started on you if you have updates sent to your phone.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I was listening to Jim Rome today and he had that crack-head Jason Peter "live in studio", of course everyone from Scottsbluff to Beatrice had to call in with they're "get well" lovefest, and half of them were almost crying. But I thought of you AJ, and that if Peter ever read this blog he would slip back to the depths of the drug world and still be snortin coke off some crackwhore's ass or shootin heroin in some shitty LA hotel. Great blog AJ!

10:45 PM  
Blogger AJ said...


I can't recall anything super horrible Jason Peter did in his career. But then again, when your brother gets tanked up and shoves his hand down Miss Nebraska's pants at a tend to look better by default.

10:47 PM  
Anonymous Obsessed Husker Fan said...

Damn AJ, how do you know me so well? I just got a text message from Rivals AND talked to southwest to see if the seats were wide enough? Are you a mind reader? So, we (Nebraska aka GREATEST TEAM EVER WITH THE GREATEST FANS EVER) loses by 3 td's to aTm Saturday? Pretty bold prediction. Anyways, I hope you have a magical Friday and those lame duck Clones playing for Mac Shack dont beat you guys by too much! (Is Mizzou playing ISU this weekend? I honestly dont even know) And dont insult me by calling me a pasty farmer, I recently hit up the tanning bed so I would fit in better when my plane lands in Phoenix for the FIESTA BOWL, where the BIG XII CHAMPION NEBRASKA CORNHUSKERS will be playing! Ive rambled long enough, huh? Have a good one AJ.

12:59 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

You know you have a picture of Jeremy Crabtree on your wall. Admit it.

Mizzou plays ISU next weekend. 2nd year in a row a coach has quit and his swan song is against the Tigers. Luckily, this ISU team is really bad, so we'll see.

And're not going to beat Texas, but if you want to think so..that's fine.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Husker Mike said...

With BC's recruiting rankings tumbling into the twenties the last couple of years, following this has moved from "fetish" to a mere "obsession" for local recruitniks.

8:51 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

It's out of control, and not just a Nebraska thing.

The information age has bred this whole obsession for data even during the spring and summer. It's just too much.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Husker Mike said...

Those involved in the feeding of the recruiting beast (i.e. Chris at Western College Hockey Blog) will disagree, but I think that recruiting hype might just be one of the biggest dangers to college athletics today.

Remember the whole Harrison Beck snafu?

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Bart said...

Abridged version for JP:
1) Nubbie will lose in a close game at A&M.
2) AJ reads too.
3) ‘Star’ rankings are overrated.
4) Misery will win their final two games.
5) BHG sounds like a lot of the Husker fans that I know and doesn’t like the direction at ECCP.
6) I’m hungry.

For those of you that didn’t use Dick & Jane novels for your HS book reports, the unabridged version…..

AJ - I disagree with you on a couple of things…..
1) I don’t think Nubbie will get beat by 21, unless Coach Fran runs the mystical counter play from Gary Barnett’s old play book. [And Fran can find GB’s playbook posted on line at www. if he wants to.]
As for the game, unless there are a bunch of turnovers on their side of the 50, it will be in the 20’s. Nubbie will lead 14-10 at half and A&M will take the lead halfway through the 4th quarter 24-21. If Nubbie has a turnover late (probably on a double reverse) A&M might win 31-21. I think Fran will win because he is fighting for his job and Nubbie isn’t a proven commodity on the road. Can’t-a-han was 1-4 in 2004 (including the 70-10 loss at Tech), 2-2 in 2005 (with wins over Baylor and CU; and big losses to MU (41-24) and KU (40-15)), and 2-2 in 2006 (with wins over juggernauts ISU and KSU). Nubbie’s offense on the road this year has scored 10, 28, 21, and 29 points.
2) As for recruits, you can’t tell me that you weren’t juiced when Tinkle signed Chase Daniels. And honestly, you don’t know where Chase went to high school?? I bet a nickel you do…
3) I don’t buy into the recruiting ‘star’ power either. It does not measure how hard that kid will work and how much he will improve. There are very few HS kids that can come in and just play. And usually the 2-star guy is the one that comes in, works hard, and over-achieves. Don’t get me wrong, I want all of the 4- and 5-star players I can get (the law of averages) but when they end up flopping, it isn’t a big surprise.
4) Misery will win out so give me a break. Don’t try to lower our expectations. If they can’t beat ISU and KU, I would be shocked. The Tiggers are a solid club and Tinkle won’t be standing in a puddle before either game.
5) Most Husker fans that I know yearn for the days when they were the only Power-I team left. A bunch of corn-fed 8-man players with a couple of out-of-state skill players sprinkled in. Everyone knew what they were going to run and other teams put 9 guys in the box to try to stop it. Tom’s last game vs. Tennessee was the epitome of that style. And P Fulmer would tell you how that went for them…. The Huskers were unique and the Husker fans were proud (with a reason). And those same fans respected the walk-on program that produced one or two incredible special team players a year (and a fullback here and there). All of that is lost. Today, there is USC, UCLA, Cal, and now ECCP (Eastern California College of the Plains, formerly Nubbie).
6) Typing the letters BHG makes me think of Biscuits & Gravy so now I’m hungry.

On and On by Lionel Richie

10:12 AM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

Once again.. Someone (Bart) posting who has neither done the research nor knows what the hell he is talking about.

"And usually the 2-star guy is the one that comes in, works hard, and over-achieves."

Here are NU's 2 star recruits from 2002-2006:

How many IMPACT players do you see?

Antoine Bagwell
Grant Miller
Ronnie Smith
Cory Timm
Kade Pittman
Andrew Shanle (one star)
Greg Austin
Tierre Green
Adrian Turner
Jordan Adams
Joe Ganz
Mike Huff
David Harvey
Brock Pasteur
Jordan Picou
Robert Rands
Bryan Wilson
Ben Martin

What scares you pussies about Rivals and recruiting boards? Is it that you think Nebraska kids will be excluded from the program? Is the pride of St. Edwards, Scott Shanle, playing safety, that much more important than winning?

12:17 PM  
Anonymous Bart said...

JP – you are a little too sensitive. You are very able & willing to dish it out but not so good at catching it….
It seems when you disagree with something that gets posted, you start spewing kuss words like a college freshman (away from momma for the first time) and then don’t make a valid defense. Rather, you use classic one liners that the {read the next word with a thick accent} Governator would be proud of. Like “SHEESH” “WHO GIVES A CRAP” “TIME WILL TELL” “SEE ABOVE NUMBNUTS” “DUNNO” “NICE GRAMMAR ACE” “TURN THE F***ING PAGE” “YOU DON’T KNOW D**K ABOUT COLLEGE FOOTBALL” “MOVE TO BOULDER” “LOSER!!!” “WTF” “YOU ARE ONE WEIRD CHARACTER” “ARE YOU DONE YET”.
I will give you props for Coach Nutt (you were right on) and for not signing on as anonymous. I also agree with you regarding Solich – as an opposing fan I cried the day Solich got wacked (he was the best thing that ever happened to us). Plus (from what I’ve read), you don’t fall into the ‘best fans in world’ trap; however, I’m sure you are one of those guys in the South end zone that after about 10 Keystone Lights are a classy and gracious host to all opposing fans…. Don’t get me wrong, when I was in college and Nubbie would visit, I would scream “INBRED RED” as loud as I could during the “GO-BIG-RED” cheer to try to drown out the 10,000 invaders from Lincoln. Man that used to piss me off. But I grew out of it (mostly after we started winning).
And you will too one day. It will probably happen sometime between your wife giving you an ultimatum, “You have to choose, it is either me or the X-Box 360” and when you have your first child.
Until then, keep posting. I enjoy your rants. But quit being so nice to AJ, it is more fun the other way……

As for Nebraska 2-Star players vs. that list of players that you think are going to the NFL, I only recognize 3 names total. I can name more players off of the 1983 Husker team than I can off of the 2006 version. And I don't know any non-Husker fans (other than AJ) that would know more than that.

If I could send you a postcard it would be a picture of the Earth. On the back it would say, "Wish you were here."

12:53 PM  
Anonymous bart said...

p.s. What makes you think that I was talking about Nubbie 2-star players in my 10:12AM post??? FYI - the world doesn't revolve around your dorm room and I don't have a clue regarding how many stars your players had (except that I know Kenny Wilson had 4-stars, but he isn't starting is he). The only time I look at how Nubbie is doing on rivals is during recruiting season. And I look at all of the Big XII schools so don't feel special....

p.s.2. Terence Newman was a 2-star high school player and a top 5 NFL draft pick. Barry Sanders was a 3-star high school player and will probably end up in a couple halls of fame.....

1:06 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

Oh sure you can find examples here and there of 2 star athletes making it big, but on average it ain't happening.

Any Husker fan who looks at my example of all the 2 stars NU has had in the past 5 years will see there is maybe one or two potential pros, at best, on that list.

Sorry, Bart. I made the mistake of assuming you were a Nebraska fan. That was very arrogant of me. I sincerely apologize. I had BHG on the brain. It appears you are a Misery fan, so forget I said anything. I don't care what you think. I'm on this blog to keep the Solichistas in line and to give AJ crap.

2:00 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

He's very good at giving me crap.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Bart said...

AJ - That isn't what it sounds like to me...
It sounds like you both have agreed to disagree and now you are holding hands singing KUMBYA at church camp.
A Husker fan that hates half of the Husker fans and a Tiger fan that proclaims to hate all things Husker, together at last.
Don't be a charlatan, either hate them all or admit you like some (or at least one). You are getting a little soft in the comments section.

And JP, if you have read to here, then I don't believe your, "I don't care what you think" line. You do care and I'm touched.

p.s. I went to K-State while we were Nebraka's prison be-otch. But we are out on parole after winning 5 out of the last 9... Now Nubbie is OU & UT's bunk mate, after losing 8 out of the last 9 regular season games to those two.

3:34 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I don't think that's it. I think I'm just too old for pure raw hatred....although it all changes when NU gets really good.

That's why I laugh when people say, "When the huskers get'll have nothing to say"

That's ridiculous. That's when I'm at my best. Nobody makes fun of Baylor fans. There's a reason for that.

3:57 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

Bart and BHG need to get together and go bowling at the Lacks Logic Lanes.

They would both roll 88s.. Same as their IQs.

WTF is "Nubbie" .. A reference to your Johnson?

4:14 PM  
Anonymous bart said...

AJ - I do enjoy your blog (even though I have only been reading it for few weeks). I find myself pissing away several minutes (probably hours) each day seeing if you've added another post.... and then watching the carnage that ensues from the Peoples Temple and the rest of the Jamestown gang.
I'm not sure if it's the way you spin facts into a sordid tale or if it is just me taking pleasure in watching someone pee into the punch bowl at homecoming....
Either way, it keeps me off of those expensive porn sites.

4:30 PM  
Anonymous bart said...

JP - you made me spit my coffee out (now I'm going to have to call IT to get another keyboard). And yes, the truth hurts... luckily my wife didn't marry me for my Johnson.
And truthfully, BHG sounds like a guy that I would drink a tailgate beer with. I bet you would too.
As for bowling, I would take an 88. I suck and don't look good in those shoes.

4:37 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I am cheap entertainment. Thanks for the comments.

Hopefully things will pick up as the season winds down, and the Holiday season pisses me off more and more.

4:44 PM  
Anonymous Obsessed Husker Fan said...

No, I dont like Crabtree actually, he works for the Sooners site and is a Kansas State grad. BUT... I do however, have a life size Sean Callahan cutout. Yes, Nebraska will beat aTm, CU, UT, and win the Fiesta Bowl to finish the season. Oh wait... cant type anymore, I just received another text from Sean Callahan! Later!

6:24 PM  
Anonymous Bart said...

Smok'em if you've got 'em.
I'm sure your arthritis isn't bothering you today with all of that THC in your system.
You should be in all of those games (with a chance to win) but you could lose them all too. 2-2 would be a good split for ECCP but if you think 4-0 then I'm with you. I'd never tell a dying kid at Disney World that he only has a few weeks to live.
Don't bring me down,

7:19 AM  
Anonymous Billy Bear said...

Should be a good day as I am forced to get my jollies thru other peoples misery...god what a loser! Anyway, I will take comfort in the bugeaters and the kittykats going down to the superior teams from the south as my buffs take on ISU for this years ToiletBowl(tm)...Naturally I will be there, as the buffs potential second victory of this young(not) campaign is just too compelling to miss (and since it is the loser bowl we, once again, will not be on TV)...Loser of the epic battle for last in the North should be moved down to 1-AA, and cement a position in the year end ESPN Bottom 10...Next year can't get here fast enough...and since our B-Ball team always sucks, I can't go with the typical North teams lame "well at least it's basketball season" excuse...Thank god for AJ

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LJS sucks

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yak, yak, yak,

bitch, bitch, bitch,

we have heard it all.


3:10 PM  

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