You Say You Want a Revolution

Although I mock the Dog Days of February, there are times where I truly love it. Not because of the ice, or the cold, or the fact that there is absolutely nothing really going on…leave it to Husker fan to battle that boredom with a good ol fashioned scandal.

Of course, gone are the days of real scandals, like a running back climbing up a building, only to grab a girl by the hair while she’s servicing a back-up quarterback. Those days are gone. But why are they gone? Has the true values of Husker athletics actually IMPROVED under the watch of Steve Pederson and Bill Callahan? Are today’s upstanding youth more likely to turn down that hit of weed at a party? If Miss Nebraska is sitting next to them at a bar, are they going to turn the other cheek and NOT shove their hand down her pants?

Or is it just tougher to get information out fortress Husker?

Enter my favorite wordsmith, Tom Shatel. Apparently, Mr. Shatel sent shockwaves through Husker nation this morning. Not by anything witty or newsworthy, but by doing what Tom does best (next to backstab his alma mater)….stir up trouble.

Apparently Typing Tom tried to swing by the NU athletic department this morning, and was met with more security than camp Victory in Baghdad’s green zone. After being led upstairs by a security officer like a common Husker football player, Mr. Shatel decided to further shake the beehive by testing the waters of access and security at the Governor’s mansion and office of UNL President Harvey Pearlman.

Upon further review, Typing Tom decided that for some reason, Husker nation has officially been shut out of their own Hotel de Ville. Yes, gone are the days where Gomer Tuckleberry from Scribner can waltz into Tom Osborne’s office, sip some lemonade and chat it up with T.O. about the dangers of pornography, and the power I formation. No longer can Velma Snoot from Valentine swing by the football offices, and drop off a homemade Cherry pie to Charlie McBride on her way to see her cousin Beatrice in Ashland as she’s passing through town.

So as I’m reading this story, thinking of one or a thousand ways to make fun of it, the clouds parted, and a white bright light beamed through atmosphere. Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, the wave of understanding and consciousness hit me like a ton of bricks. This, like many other answers to questions left unasked by Husker fan, is very easy to explain:

You did this to yourselves.

People are losing their minds over Steve Pederson, because he is a creation of you, gone completely overboard and totally mad. For YEARS and YEARS and YEARS, the pinnacle of your existence was not revolving around how great your team was. That was easy to see thanks to your play on the field. No, the reason you people brought this upon yourself, is because you went out of your way to tell others how DIFFERENT of a program you were.

Your coaches stayed on for years
Your walk-on program was second to none
Your fans were united in love toward their favorite team
Your support was pure and divine.
When players got in trouble, they had a wiley mentor to guide them.
When anybody questioned you, they were out to tear you down.
Your tradition
Your facilities
Your love of winning
Your dominance

Little did you know back then that your quest for even more would prove to be your downfall. Much like emperor Zeno drove the Roman’s into the ground in 480 AD, emperor Pederson is in power, because you put him in power. The walls around Husker Castle are now as high as ever, shutting out the very kingdom that put them in power. The Romans collapsed in the first century AD, because they didn’t know when to quit. And just like Zeno, the Husker empire is collapsing before our very eyes, brought fourth not by any foreign army, but by a leader installed by the very people who now chastise his name.

This isn’t that hard to figure out. Look at any failed empire in history, from Zeno to the Third Reich, and you will see classic examples of power gone overboard. Weather a civilization pulled itself from the ashes as Germany did in the mid 30’s, or the Romans tried to hang on to power as long as they could, it’s very easy to see that all empires fall eventually. Even look at the French Revolution to see what happens when Kings get greedy. (Yeah, I just compared you to the French. Suck on that)

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and nowhere is that more evident than in Lincoln. Is Steve Pederson a sniveling weasel? Of course he is. Is Bill Callahan simply a “bad PR person”, or is he a buffoon that lost control of his team the only other time he was in power? Of course he’s both.

Who the hell cares if some sports-hack can’t waltz into the football offices? Who gives a frog’s fat ass if some long-time trainer gets the shaft and gets fired without so much as a “thanks a lot”. Who cares if Steve-O promised you the world, and all you got to show for it was some Order Restored t-shirts, an Alamo Bowl ticket stub and a pretty red waterfall?

This is big time college sports. Whether you think it’s your God given right to keep things the way they were is completely irrelevant. This is the way things work now, and no matter how bad you want things to work out..they don’t always do.

I for one applaud Steve Pederson for keeping the windmill’s at bay with his plastic sword and his garbage can lid for a shield. Makes more so much more interesting drama than simple domestic assaults and sexual battery.

Can’t wait to see what happens next.



(Photo Credit of Steve-O - Daily Nebraskan)