On the Brink of Madness

Got your brackets in? Got your brackets in? Got your brackets in?

Holy shit, if one more person asks me that question I’m going to lose it. YES, I love the NCAA tournament and YES, I’m in ONE bracket contest. But holy shit people, if you’re going to spend 12 hours of work time putting together an e-mail to send to your co-workers…if you’re going to spend $800 bucks of company paper to print up the fucking things…at least have the decency to take the day off. And this is what happens in OMAHA. I can’t imagine what it’s like in a real basketball town.

Oh wait..what’s that? Creighton is in the dance? Wow, I would have never known. I’m surprised a big fucking van pasted with big blue feathers isn’t going through my neighborhood right now, blaring “CREIGHTON PLAYS ON FRIDAY!!! CREIGHTON PLAYS ON FRIDAY!” Jesus T Chrysler, give it a fucking rest. At the very least, by the time most of you read this, Nevada will have waltzed out the door, while Billy Bluejay is lying face down with his bird pants around his stupid, yellow webbed feet.

Holy fuck do I hate that team.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m in a bit of a bitter mood, even on the eve of the second best sports weekend of the year. (Only behind the first NFL/College football weekend in my book.) I’m not really sure why, but let’s take a look at some things that are really pissing me off.

* If Full-throttle Creighton myopia has had only one good byproduct, it’s the fact that Husker spring football has been taken completely off the map. I mean, if Callahan had announced that Bo Ruud was switching positions during a normal week…holy hell…this town would be going apeshit. And WHO EVEN KNOWS how many stupid things Steve Pederson has done this week, and nobody is even paying attention. My only hope is that once Creighton gets ass-pounded and kicked out of the dance like that two-bit whore Cinderella, the better off the world will be, and we’ll be back to normal.

* Speaking of back to normal, nice to see Husker baseball myopia having a mini-surge over the weekend. It’s funny how when Notre Dame ten-runs the mighty Corn, it’s no news…but break out a couple of one-run squeakers against Alabama, and it’s all over the place. Once again, I thank Dana Altman for at least burying the Husker baseball down the sports page where they belong. Perhaps they’ll lose to one of the junior colleges/all-girls-schools they’re playing this weekend? That’s another part of college baseball that sucks ass. Yes, they’ll have a tourney now and then, and maybe a series every 10 years with Alabama…but the rest of the time, it’s Northern Iowa, Wayne State and Dana College in between Big 12 series games. And you wonder how that 5’2” Komine was 12-1 every year.

* To all my K-State readers…I’m with you guys. The selection committee completely fucked you guys. I’m not Huggy fan, but I respect what he did for that program. What he’s done there is pretty impressive, especially in terms of atmosphere at the Bram. (That place was a morgue since…well…since Mitch Richmond was there…and I don’t even think he played there.) Either way, you got screwed.

* Forgot to mention it, but UNO hockey made another super-excellent exit prior to any games worth anything. Nice going fellas. I’m sure the loss of the greatest fucking player in school history won’t sting next year. Oh well…as long as mediocre is OK with everybody else, it’s OK with me.

* Why am I more annoyed at Anna Nicole Smith when she’s dead than when she was alive?

* And finally, a special “way to fucking go” to Bruce Rasmussen and the Creighton athletic department who completely FUCKED over the entire city of Omaha. For those of you who missed it, Creighton (as the host school), sold 2008 1st and 2nd round tickets to their 13,000 season ticket holders. After allowing TWO seats per season tickets, they decided once AGAIN to ask if anybody wanted any.

No word has leaked out yet, but I’m guessing that Dr. Chuck T. Orthodontist out in West Omaha is going to be there with 10 of his most profitable patients next year at this time. NICE FUCKING GOING Creighton, you greedy fucking bastards. When I voted for that arena to be built 8 years ago, I was told we needed to build it for events just like this…not so 17,000 doctors, lawyers and life-insurance executives could sell $1,900 worth of tickets on e-bay. But what’s that? They’re going to “release” some tickets that get returned?

Who’s to say you won’t be handing those out at your next Jaybacker function when that happens? Just goes to show that with anything…greed is king.

I must admit, most of this anti-Creighton stuff is just annoyance. I can live without it, because most of the year, they’re invisible. However, this whole ticket thing may push them into a new stratosphere of arrogant jagoffs. I hope Muffy and Dr. Bob get mugged in the French Quarter this weekend and end up face down in a puddle of unidentified liquid outside the dirtiest dildo shop on Bourbon street.

* And finally…speaking of people I fucking hate…a big ol FUCK YOU to Pittsburgh Penguins fan. Bad enough you got the shit scared out of you..but even worse that you have to go out of your way to show everybody how great you are. Part of me is glad the NHL didn’t fuck up and let them leave (like they were really going to), but the other 99% wishes they would have left, just to watch a bunch of IC drinking, Whitesnake listening, CO2 breathing, Unemployment line living, IROC driving, Heinz Ketchup for dinner eating, Global warming instigating, Perry Como listening, Franco Harris worshiping, shitty baseball watching Drew Carry wannabe prick taunt everybody else.

I hope your new arena is built on an ancient Indian burial ground, is stacked to the rafters with asbestos, and any future children you have come out with hooves.

Enjoy the games this weekend.

PS – My Final Four?

North Carolina
UCLA
Oregon
Memphis

Upset Special – Wright State in the Sweet 16