Lame of the Century
But every single time we go through this whole masquerade party down memory lane, we are once again bombarded with the same old question from Omaha media over and over and over and over: Is Oklahoma, Nebraska’s biggest rival?
My answer of course is that this was and always will be a trick question. Why? For the simple fact that you people wouldn’t know a rivalry if it came up and swiped the yellow piece of foam off your heads. RIVALRY with Oklahoma? Isn’t there a statute of limitations on such things? Aside from a couple of fluke Husker seasons in 2001 and 2002 (Right about the time Frank Solich was selling his soul for a Rose Bowl Birth) do you realize the last time the two teams met BOTH ranked was 1993? Not that ranking has anything to do with rivalry as we shall soon see…but to think this is some sort of contemporary clash of the titans is a bit of a stretch.
All of this..and we havne’t even mentioned the colon pounding the Huskers are most certainly going to take under the lights in this year’s version of the Red “Remember When” Rivalry.
"Hey Hateful blog guy, why isn't it a rivalry"?
Because in order for a true rivalry, you have to fit at least 2 of the following 5 criteria:
1) Your states went to war or had some sort of armed conflict.
(Nope, not here... unless you count the Miss Teen USA pagent, Nebraska and Oklahoma have never seriously competed against each other for anything aside from college sports and the white-hot Omaha Royals-Oklahoma RedHawks rivalry in AAA baseball. I haven’t checked lately, but I’m pretty sure nobody died in one of those contests either.)
2) You have ZERO mutual respect for the other team’s traditions and past successes.
(Nebraska fans..at least the ones I know..are ALWAYS raving about how much respect and admiration they have for the OU program. Sure some old timers hold a grudge, but any Husker fan born after the MTV revolution would have Bob Stoops’ children if he asked them too. Hell, Barry Switzer would probably get more votes here than Tom Osborne did. If you respect the other team...it's not a rivalry. Trust me.)
3) You find yourself spending 20 minutes rooting against your potential rival's girls soccer team when you stopped flipping channels on ESPNU on a Tuesday night.
(I’ll admit it…I’ll flip through channels and catch a KU women’s basketball game and root for the opposing team, whomever they might be, to go on a nice 32-0 run. Can you say the same thing about OU?)
4) Your potential rival doesn’t have two other rivals ahead of you.
(Please tell me how NU and Oklahoma can be such “true rivals”, if Oklahoma already has Texas and Oklahoma State to deal with? Even you people have got to find some serious balls to think that Sooner fans actually despise you more than UT fans or Okie Light fans. Granted…if they lived near you they probably would rather easily…but I digress)
5) One of your fans naively made up a really idiotic story on the internet in a public forum about the opposing QB and nearly got his ass sued for libel.
(OK, you got me on that one.)
So go ahead and ramp up the talk of trying to sign OU to a multi-year football deal, where the two teams would meet in non-rotation years. Granted, I’m sure the Sooner fans would love the automatic w’s 5 times a decade…but shouldn't you be a bit careful what you wish for? Let’s talk again after Saturday to see if you still think that is such a good idea.
1) Missouri (6-2, 2-2) at Baylor – Nice of the Tigers to put the newspapers down long enough to finally realize they need to actually produce on the field and stop listening to Lee Corso. The Tigers looked extremely pissed off against a hapless Buff team last weekend on a beautiful night in Columbia. Robert Griffen of course is a real threat…although Missouri has been much better against the run than the pass of late.
2) Kansas (5-3, 2-2) vs. Kansas State – The Squaks laid their biggest egg in three years by getting destroyed by a solid-but-not-great Texas Tech team on their own turf. Normally, I ‘d love to drop them lower, but where are you going to put them? This Saturday’s rivalry game should be a good tonic for a sore Jayhawk ass that gave up 900 yards against the Red Raiders.
3) Kansas State (4-4, 1-3) at Kansas – Sure the Cat’s can’t stop anybody, but again..where are you going to drop them? Giving up 55 points in a half to OU is nothing to brag about, but if you look at who they’ve played in conference (Tech and Oklahoma as well as Colorado and A&M on the road)…you’ve got to figure things can only get better. Maybe not…after Todd Reesing, the Cats get Mizzou…in Columbia…on Senior Day.
4) Colorado (4-4, 1-3) at Texas A&M – Although I was mocked by some Husker bloggers, the Buff defense certainly didn’t give any hints prior to last weekend that they were about to be destroyed. Holding Texas to 38 a few weeks ago, and KSU to 13 the week before actually doesn’t look too bad. Unfortunately, Dan Hawkins has raised the white flag and made a QB change…one that didn’t look to be going too well last weekend. Saturday's matchup in college station should actually be decent against two relatively even teams.
5) Nebraska (5-3, 2-2) at Oklahoma – Piss, whine and cry all you want Husker fans…WHY on earth should I rank you higher? You beat two of the worst teams in the league and got absolutely ass slammed by Mizzou in your own house. So you played keep away from an overrated Texas Tech team for 60 minutes, only to choke it away…whoopie doo. I’ve already said it before…your true test comes after your upcoming losses to OU and Kansas. Those games @KSU and vs. CU will determine if you’re going to 72nd and Dodge to celebrate a trip to the 4th best bowl in Phoenix…or staying at home yet again with your thumb up your ass for the holidays. I know where my money’s at.
6) Iowa State (2-6, 0-4) at Oklahoma State – Don’t chuckle Cyclone fans…you lost to that shitty team…at home. As for this weekend…I wonder if that fancy new scoreboard that Boone Pickens donated has three digits under the Home side? I guess we may find out.
1) Texas (8-0, 4-0) at Texas Tech – The horns give up a lot of passing yards because their opponents are almost always airing it out to come from behind. At Texas, you are bred to play in games like this. In Lubbock, the pressure is on in front of a moonshine-fueled home fan base in what surely is the most anticipated matchup in the state since Santa Ana headed north. In big games like this..the team who has the most big-game expierence usually wins…no brainer here who that is.
2) Oklahoma (7-1, 3-1) vs. Nebraska – After the Sooners and Huskers take all their pictures..punch each other’s cheerleaders in the face and wax nostalgic over a bunch of games that were played before color TV…OU is going to sodomize Nebraska in new and exciting ways. Nebraska hasn’t beaten a ranked top 20 team in a true road game since September of 1997. (yes…that’s 11 years for those of you not so good in math and yes...you can look it up)
3) Oklahoma State (7-1, 3-1) vs. Iowa State – Look for the Cowboys to be playing underclassmen by the 3rd quarter, and only guys who’s first name is “Mike” in the 4th quarter. And ABC put this in it’s 2:30pm slot because?......
4) Texas Tech (8-0, 4-0) vs. Texas – Let me put it this way….if you need overtime to beat Nebraska on the same field…you may have a bit of trouble against Texas. I don’t do this for a living..but that’s just a hunch. Then again, when you think of HUGE wins against ranked teams…you immediately think…Texas Tech. Uhhhh, yeah.
5) Baylor (3-5, 1-3) vs. Missouri – Remember back in July when I said Baylor would upset somebody they weren’t supposed to beat somewhere along the way? Yeah, I really wish I wouldn’t have written that. Regardless, the Bears are somewhat dangerous but extremely undermanned. If Chase Daniel plays as pissed off as last week, it could be a long day for BU.
6) Texas A&M (3-5, 1-3) vs. Colorado – A&M is actually starting to score a few points of late..but unfortunately have given up 35 or more in 5 of their last 6 games. Lucky for them, Colorado isn’t exactly an offensive juggernaut as they try and bounce back from a horrible game last week. This should be low scoring and perhaps could jump start the Mike Sherman era into the next phase. Or maybe they’ll piss this away. They did barely beat Army and lost to Arkansas State this year ya know.