Myth Busting - The Season Preview Continues

OK fine.

Some of you greeted my predictions with a TINGE of skepticism. I completely understand that, and completely expected that. Obviously you don't lose to Montana State at home and then turn that around. Perhaps they won't turn it around? Obviously could happen. However, it's not as crazy as you would think. To me, they're a quarterback away from being right back into contention in the North. They do get Missouri and Nebraska at home in the dead of November. However, all it's going to take is a few big wins early to start the ball rolling. How would CU's season have been viewed had they beaten Georgia on the road last year?

If's and but's. I know.

I'm sure you've felt the same way, but with the completion of media days this week, the prognostication and discussions are reaching deafening levels. This would probably be one of my favorite times of the year, if not for the fact that the goofy theories get goofier. And people who were barely discussing one player in November...now suddenly talk him up like crazy in July. (Even though nobody has seen him play.) Hopefully you take all of this for what it is, which is the buildup to the greatest spectacle in American sports. But with that buildup, you have to wade through a lot of crap. Let's take a look at some key myths for 2007.

MYTH – Larry the Cable Guy sucks.
Pretty simple here: It's not a myth, it's true, therefore it's defined as a statement.

MYTH - Miami @ Oklahoma will be the best game of the year in the big 12.
This would have been great if it were played in the late 80's. Unfortunately, the Cane's haven't been to the Midwest since Jesus was in diapers and Oklahoma is flat out better. Even if they're somewhat improved, I don't see Miami putting up one ounce of fight, and will get pistol whipped in Norman. Look for OU to run all day on them.

MYTH - Bill Callahan needs to win the North to keep his job safe.
Absolutely false. Steve Pederson will go to his grave as the guy who gutted NU football like a trout, and installed an NFL flunky with zero college experience. (As well as those butt-ass stupid glasses he wears to make him look smart.) Unless 25,000 fans showed up on the doorstep of the south stadium with pitchforks and torches, there is absolutely no way in hell Callahan would be on the hot seat this year..even if he ended up 2-10 and lost to Ball State by 50. Aint gonna happen, and it's not because he's some sort of genius. (Despite the glasses).

MYTH - Nebraska should have no problem with Wake Forest in week #2.
Nebraska is going to get absolutely sodomized by Wake Forest in week #2. Remember that look of dazed and confused by Scott Frost when he walked into Tempe in 1996? Remember that glazed over "This isn't supposed to happen to us" look? You may as well grab a sharpie and draw that on JC Keller's face, because it's going to be deja vu all over again.

MYTH - Texas will beat Oklahoma in Dallas.
I have no idea. I'll be 15 beers deep, face down in some grassy patch of road in Columbia. Chances are, most of you will be too.

MYTH - Talk of a playoff will heat up by Thanksgiving, led by the SEC Presidents.
Aint gonna happen. NU OGIC Harvey Pearlman and his merry band of white collared, orange jacket wearing, sponsor slurping bowl buddies will never ever ever let it happen. Not 2008. Not 2011. Not 3065. Never ever ever. It would be great...but stop talking about it.

MYTH - John David Booty will win the Heisman
The guy is one hell of a quarterback. However, I think the voters across the nation are getting a bit weary of USC players. Granted, that 604 yard game against NU in September will help, a tough Pac-10 schedule will grind him back to the pack. For some reason, it seems to me that it's about time for a dark horse candidate separates from the pack. Limus Sweed perhaps?

MYTH – The White Stripes are the best band in America
Truth – The White Stripes are the worst band since Chilliwak in 1981, and suck with the force of a million Hoovers.

MYTH – The Huskers will win 10 games.
Fact – The Huskers will lose to Wake, USC, Texas, Missouri, A&M, K-State and Colorado.

MYTH – Florida State, Penn State and Notre Dame are back.
Throw Nebraska in with this bunch. This collection of has beens haven’t been a factor in quite some time. When Rutgers is a hair away from a BCS game, you know there are problems. Although I agree that big name schools use their names to get bigger recruits…the fact that people believe these teams can just throw their pads on the field and dominate once again is insane. Dusty trophies (presumably ones you didn’t make up) and faded “Back to Back” t-shirts have never won a damn game. Ever.

MYTH – “It must suck being a Missouri fan about now”
Kirk Farmer was Mizzou’s quarterback 7 years ago. The defense rests. (Side note, Farmer actually had some decent games against Nebraska in his day..until somebody broke his leg. Dude had the bone structure of Estelle Getty. )

MYTH - This blog will shut down after this season.
If I win the lottery, you people are the last ones I’m thinking about.

MYTH – UNO hockey will have a great year
Dunno. I’m putting my allegiance to UNO hockey on hold until they can prove to me they can put a quality product on the ice. If I wanted to watch a shitty product on the ice year in and year out, I’d move to Bowling Green Ohio. Michigan still sucks though.

MYTH – USC will beat Nebraska by 31 points on September 15th.
Wrong. USC will beat Nebraska by 40 points on September 15th.

MYTH - The Cubs will make the playoffs this year.

Only if Rosie O'Donnell poses for Playboy this year and caps it off by publicly swearing off doughnuts for a year. (God I hate the Cubs)

MYTH – Omaha media types will continue their idiotic whining about not being picked 1st in the North this year.
Actually, this is true. Funny how last year the poll was a great gage as to how the season goes..and suddenly this year…EVERYBODY is an idiot for voting that way. DESPITE WHAT FEELINGS OF YOURS HAVE BEEN HURT IN THE PROCESS, NOT EVERYBODY RECOGNIZES YOUR GREATNESS. How many frick’n times do I have to tell you that.

And the war goes on.

PS - Did anybody else know the Mythbusters girl really looked like this? Ummm, I didn't.