Fraud Week Continues - The Defense

Did something happen this week? Man, there’s a lot of Nebraska talk going on all over the place. You’d think something surprising happened.

Anyway, we’re down to about 40 days, and as I told you earlier, the countdown to the biggest letdown in Husker history is just over a month away. I already told you about what a complete and total fraud the Husker offense is going to be. I’ve also laughed and poked fun at the train wreck that is the group of guys that is being passed off as the Huskers special teams’ squad. But the easiest job I have is to prove to you that despite the holes and complete and total over-estimation of the Husker offense…the Husker defense is where the crack in the dam will start.

For the ENTIRE off season, from the second Bill Callahan’s fake-punt clinic ended in Dallas last January 1st, all I have heard about is how the other defenses in the Big 12 north suck. Kansas and ISU’s defenses were pretty awful. Colorado and K-State played tough at times, but both had huge holes on the defensive side of the ball. That leaves me with Missouri, who despite their own obvious shortcomings on defense, is completely mocked and ridiculed by both the national media, as well as any of the 100,000 Husker fans I run into every day.

“Missouri would be pretty good if they had a defense”.
“I’d believe the Missouri hype if they could stop anybody”.

I’m not quite sure where that came from, but let’s take a look at that bag of rocks and grab some Windex.

On just last season’s statistics alone, it’s pretty safe to say that one team was far and away better than the other. I have no problem telling you that there are shortcomings for one team, including the complete and total inability to stop the pass. Oh, and if you were wondering, that one team couldn’t stop Kansas’s 3rd string QB from going David Klingler on them, coming within a bad non-fumble call in overtime from winning. (FYI - Missouri was 39th in total D, Nebraska 56th. Missouri was 37th in passing D, Nebraska 79th. Missouri was 22nd in the nation in sacks, Nebraska 46th. )

So tell me corn people, what am I missing here? Missouri finished 58th in the league last year stopping the run. I completely agree that is not very good and needs to improve. Nebraska finished 37th in the nation against the run last year, which although not great..is considerably better statistically. However, didn’t you people just lose your ENTIRE front four responsible for stopping the run? Didn’t those guys move on to the NFL, where you skipped around your house and called all your friends as their names were called on the Sunday of the NFL draft?

Perhaps we should look at how Nebraska stopped the pass last year? How does 79th in the nation sound to you? How does the fact that your leading interception man coming back in 2007 is BO RUUD. (Yes, the same hayseed Bo Ruud who is somehow..some way picked All-Big 12 pre-season this year). But what’s that you say? Courtney Grixby, Andre Jones, Tierre Green and Ricky Thenarse are going to shore up that unit?

How bout 1, 1, 1, and 1. Those are the interception totals for each of those players last year. Scary! How in the HELL can Andre Jones lead the team in tackles, get picked on over and over again by quarterbacks and have ONE interception? To give you some context, that’s the exact same number of picks that Baylor freshman linebacker Joe Pawelek had. I will give Green some credit though, at least he had 65 tackles, which ironically is the same as All-American boy wonder Bo. Andre Jones was actually second on the team in tackles with 74, which is pretty flippin scary if you’re a Husker fan, because I’m not sure having your outside cornerback within one tackle of leading your team in tackles is a good thing.

So why is it all of a sudden these guys are going to get better? Why are 2.1 million Husker fans so sure about it? Can one of you freaks explain to me the concept that says every Husker player will get better over the off-season, yet if some other team has a unit that is suspect, they will continue to suck and be exploited?

The same goes for JUCO players. So these Murillo and Asante kids are supposed to instantly become all-Americans and shore up the Huskers porous d-backfield? Can somebody please give me a few examples of ANY junior college football player that actually lived up to the hype? Have any of you ever even SEEN a junior college football game? And don’t give me the name Mo Purify, because I’ll have to comment on him…which I’ve struggled not to for almost 11 whole paragraphs now.

So to sum this up, gigantic holes on the defensive line are going to be filled with pixie dust and magic beans, a couple of injury prone linebackers are going to be all-American, and two Junior College DB’s are going to ride in on a magic unicorn and somehow make the #79th rated passing defense in the country not quite so shitty. Did I miss anything?

Oh yes, somehow Steve Octavian (who had one great game in his life…against Maine) and Zach Bowman are suddenly supposed to be healed by Jesus Christ himself (or Sam Keller) , and will shake off major injuries to step in and shore up the remaining holes. (Much as Matt Herrian was supposed to be an All-American tight end last year. This just in, major injuries are hard to overcome).

Got it.

Tune in next week when I explain to you how Llamas can fly and that those Pizza Hut Pizzone’s can actually help you lose weight.

********************

A lot of you wanted to tune in and get my reaction to Bill Callahan giving Mo Purify an all-expense paid trip to the Husker season opener with a sideline pass in exchange for making his program a laughing stock once again. I’ve said it in multiple places, but I will say it here once again as the case is closed.

This is not a shock. If any of you were actually shocked in any way shape or form, then you definitely need to get out more. Bill Callahan coached THE RAIDERS. How does that not make sense to you? And for those of you who kept crying, “Cally is a disciplinarian, he’s gonna come down hard”, you people are complete idiots. “Cally” is trying to save his ass from the torches, giant industrial sized bags of feathers and 55 gallon vats of bubbling tar that will make it’s way to his office door if he starts off 3-3.

I mean seriously…this is the same school who had a “noble and great coach” give a running back a nice ½ season vacation for smashing a girl’s head against a mailbox and dragging her down the stairs. What the hell did you think a former Raiders coach would do for a guy who only Grazed a girl’s face? I actually thought Callahan was too chicken shit to actually play him during the Wake Forest game, but that goes a long way in telling me that perhaps he knows his team is a fraud as much as I do.

Again, I have no problem with it. The only thing funnier than the legions of Husker fans actually applauding Callahan’s decision, is the return of the national spotlight on one of the great thug programs in America. I mean seriously, did you people think others would just let this go without mocking you? And yes, it’s completely true that this stuff happens everywhere, and although serious, not the end of the world. But then again most people do not have signs over their stadium that stake claim to being the greatest college football fans on earth.

If you make that sort of ridiculous claim, then you better be prepared for people like me to throw the labels at you and point out what a complete bunch of hypocrites you really are. If you would just fess up for being as such, we would all feel better about ourselves.

The sun dropping in the west was more shocking than this development. And the Big Red Commitment to Excellence continues.