October 2, 2007

The Sounds of War Grow Louder

As stated more than once in this space, the game this weekend has entered uncharted territory. After years of swirling amid the refuse and debris of college football also-rans, the Missouri football Tigers take to the field on Saturday as favorites over Nebraska for the first time in 38 seasons. Under a dark mid-Missouri sky, the destiny of two separate fan bases will collide.

OK, it doesn’t set up like a Herman Wouk novel, but the chips are down on the proverbial table, as two teams in opposite directions meet in a black pit of noise and hatred in front of the whole world.

As I’ve stated many times before, I take great pride in separating my ability to spearhead the Husker hating movement, while at the same time be an objective fan of my own team. Regardless, I’m constantly reminded by overall wearing folks around here that somehow you’re more of a man if your favorite college football team won a split national title years before you were born.

Despite all of that, I will answer directly to those of you who have asked. For you see, it is quite easy to sit back and fire off insults under the banner of my favorite team. However, in this particular case, I can perfectly tell you why Missouri should win..and it has nothing to do with where I’m from.

Why do I think Mizzou wins? I’ll give you 3 reasons.

1) Yes, both defenses suck. We’ve seen both teams on TV (well, you haven’t, considering the one time Missouri WAS on TV, your scrimmage with Reno Junior High was on at the same time) and it’s plain to see there are gaps on the defensive side of the ball. But regardless of that, there are two main reasons why Missouri’s defense in particular is better. First, turnovers. Despite giving up chunks of yards late in games, the Tigers are 2nd in the Big 12 in turnover margin. (Nebraska is 77th in that category). Secondly all three of Missouri’s bad defensive performances occurred when the game was seemingly in hand. Sure, it’s easy to look at stat sheets and judge, but if you’re 22 years old, and you see you’re up 28-6…aren’t you going to let up a bit? BIG Advantage Tigers. (Did I mention Missouri is ten slots better than Nebraska in terms of points allowed?)

2) Nobody has seen JC Keller in a hostile environment. JC has won TWO road games in his career. (1….2). He beat Wake Forest last month in a very unmemorable performance…and his lone ASU win came at the hands of big bad unranked Oregon State…the same Oregon State that gave up 38 points to Chase Daniel last year. I think it’s pretty obvious that this will be a more hostile crowd than anything Corvallis can come up with, and WAY worse than the picnic at Lake Winston-Salem on a sunny Saturday afternoon. You saw the difference between JC against USC’s first string, and JC when the pressure was off.

3) Speaking of pressure, the GRF™ has been taking fire all season for pathetic performances against Ball State, USC and Iowa State. Do you HONESTLY think that if Missouri wins, Husker fan will sit back and go, “Ya know…Mizzou is a tough team. I wasn’t counting on that as a win.” My ass you weren’t. ALL of you have this marked as a win, and the GRF™ knows it. You blow this game…you are faced with not just theory…but FACT that you’ve not only “gravitated” toward mediocrity, but you’ve done a cannonball into it, naked while holding a can of Busch Light.

Would I be shocked if Nebraska won? Of course not. Need I remind you that a guy once kicked a ball OVER HIS FRICKIN HEAD WITH ZERO TIME LEFT?!?! If you can live through that…if you can stand strong and hold patient 10 more years…you can deal with anything.

God may blast Mizzou fans in the package yet again and my week next week may be long and painful…but in terms of setting the table, your complete destruction has never been more finely packaged. If and when the inevitable does come, do not look for mercy. I think I know Missouri fans well enough to know, there will be no relaxing until the final gun. I look forward to doing everything humanly possible to make sure your stay in the Columbia area is as unpleasant and painful as possible. I look forward to the challenge if anything.

Let the bodies hit the floor.

1) Missouri (4-0): vs. Nebraska
ESPN cameras, 13 hours of tailgating and buildup, Bo Ruud on the other side of the line at linebacker chasing Martin Rucker off the snap. Enough said.

2) Kansas State (3-1) vs. Kansas
I’m extremely impressed with the way Ron Prince has held that team together through transition. However, I still think the Cats are a year away. I may be wrong, but it’s going to take a much bigger win that pansy-ass Kansas to sway me otherwise just yet.

3) Colorado (3-2) at Baylor
I told you. I told you but you never ever listen. Just as with K-State, I don’t expect CU miracles every week. (if OU fields that punt, they come away with a moral victory instead of a real one.) I’m telling you though, if the Buffs can get past K-State in a couple of weeks…look out. They have NU and MU at home.

4) Kansas (4-0) at Kansas State
Can people even confirm KU has played a game yet? For all we know, the games could have been staged and opponents bought off. Now that the Squaks are on TV, we’ll all see just how horrible that early schedule was. (Well, you’ll see it…I’ll be face down in a parking lot somewhere)

5) Nebraska (3-1) at Missouri
Shall we start the “is this a “must win” for Callahan” just yet? After Mizzou, the hicks host two of the top 8 rushing teams in America. And no…they aren’t from the MAC.

6) Iowa State (1-3) at Texas Tech
Gotta admire the Clones for their performance last week. It’s not easy to run up 415 yards against the blackshirts. Oh wait, yes it is. Nevermind.

1) Oklahoma (3-1) vs. Texas @ Dallas
I think it’s safe to assume that OU fell victim to putting the car on cruise control last week. For a year, they heard how bad CU was, despite me telling you otherwise. I don’t see that happening again for a while. Texas is going to be bitchslapped in ways few have ever seen.

2) Texas Tech (3-1) vs. Iowa State
I’m sorry K-State fans, Texas is a bigger fraud than Nebraska. (At least I already knew they sucked.)..and thus, I've got Tech at number 2. The Red Raiders lost a wild heartbreaker in a tough environment down in Stillwater. Ask Husker fan if that's easy to do. Pity the poor Clones, who are about to play the part of Andy Dufrane in the laundry room.

3) Texas (3-1) vs. Oklahoma @ Dallas
I’m tempted to drop UT even further. If you look at each game, you really have to wonder why they are ranked so high after struggling with Arkansas State and Central Florida. Not to take anything away from KSU, but this is not anything more than a mediocre team with sharp looking helmets.

4) Oklahoma State (3-2) @ Texas A&M
This is a HUGE game when you think about it. Okie State has been extremely inconsistent, and A&M is reeling after their coach act like a complete moron before their very eyes. If ever there was a time to catch a decent team like the Aggies on the road…this is it.

5) Texas A&M (4-1) vs. Oklahoma State
Your coach did WHAT?!?! Seriously, what on earth is wrong with people. I would have charged those nerds at LEAST 5 grand for that newsletter.

6) Baylor (3-2) vs. Colorado
This is the SECOND weekend in a row I’ve pimped the Bears. They have one of the nation’s better passing offenses, but can’t seem to put up points when it counts. Would anybody be THAT shocked if they stun CU on Saturday? I wouldn’t. (probably won’t happen…but wouldn’t shock me)

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Blogger Ross said...

This may have already been brought up, but IA State ran 102 plays to get to 415 yards. If they did it in 70 plays, I would be much more worried. I know, you will come back with how horrible the D is to allow them to run that many plays, get almost 30 1st downs, etc...But its not like they were getting 6 yards a play. If our offense wasn't so "quick strike" (aka alternating 3 and out with a 50 second TD drive), they might have 300 yards. Anyway, its not like you care about any of this anyway.

Oh, and can you please write one more time about how cool you are because you will be so drunk this weekend?


9:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Damn so far it is lame as most of your posts are. You went fishing and caught some fish a couple weeks ago and told us all about it but no pics to back it up.

I am not big on picking games but my best guess is the Tigers will fold like a K Mart lawn chair and you will be pissed and upset again.

As always,
You can Eat A Mile Of My Cornridden Shit

10:06 PM  
Anonymous Missouri Husker Fan said...

"the Tigers are 2nd in the Big 12 in turnover margin. (Nebraska is 77th in that category)."

Get real AJ! Since when were there 77 teams in the Big 12? Is that a typo or are you comparing Big 12 for Kitties to Nat'l ranking for the soon to be victor Huskers?

You're goin down.....Loser!

8:56 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

1) Corn Ridden Shit guy just called me a liar about my fish. That's really fucked up. Low man..very low.

2) You're supposed to be smart enough to know the 77th was nationally. I'm not going to go change it because you didn't pass reading comprehension in high school.

3) Hey Ross...how do you explain the 102 plays then? You're "not worried"?

Are you wearing a helmet? That is the WORST spin I've ever heard in my life.

Seriously..I'm not even sure how to respond to something so idiotic.

11:34 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

PS - Oh and I am cooler than you. I'm going to be celebrating the death of the program I loathe the most.

Take your Quaker ass and get the fuck off the comments section if it bothers you so much.


11:37 AM  
Blogger bornred said...


Trust me, this isn't spin, 'cuz I'm not excited about our defense, but there is some validity to the 102 plays thing and total yardage. You have to lay some blame on the offense for either sputtering, turning the ball over or scoring too quickly and putting them right back out on the field and the special teams for extending drives, but you are right, they need to help themselves and make more stops on 3rd down and Mizzou has been real good in converting them.
I think since Mizzou is not a grind it out kind of offense and is more quick strike than ours, there's no way we see them on the field for anywhere near that many plays this week. Gap control was better (relative, I know, considering the offense we were facing) and from what I heard on the radio (yes, I was stuck listening to Rose, who drives me bat shit, but at least I could listen) and then saw on the CC show, they played better (although, the DL is still not eating up OL and letting them get to our backers).
Am I worried about our D down there this weekend? Fuck ya, who wouldn't be, but if they can find a way to make a couple of stops and we can establish a running game and try to wear down your D, then we have a chance. I don't like us in a track meet here, but who knows how this thing will unfold. I'm pretty sure no matter how it turns out, I won't be surprised.


Oh ya, I hate you ( mostly because you are spot on with your points on this game, bastard, but also because I feel like I'm supposed to this week)

12:03 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Heh..no problem Randy.

You're excused.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous MNHusker said...

What a great blog. Mizzou wins this week (and 0-fer the rest of the year isn't far fetched.)

Go Huskers!

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AJ...let me first address your mostly valid points about the game:

1) You are absolutely correct - If Mizzou is able to force more turnovers, your chances at a win (and possibly winning big) are very good.

2)How many road games has he played in? I think not many given the small number of games he has actually started in his career, so I don't know that 2 wins is all that bad.

3)Agreed...and the cannonball comment was well played. I do think Mizzou has some pressure as well (Pinkel's struggles, being a favorite for the first time in a long while, etc.)

Okay, now I have to take issue once again with your excuses for why Mizzou might lose. God is not out to get you (although, maybe he should be - I have been to Missouri a few times).

Cut the cry baby crap and whining about how you've had to endure years of pain and suffering. It's pathetic. I will say it again; this attitude is a comfortable fall back position for when things don't go well - "well, we are Mizzou and bad stuff just always seems to happen to us". Boo f'in hoo!

If NU loses, I will admit that we suck ass and deserved whatever fate befell us. You have to do the same and come to grips with the fact that your team blows donkey dick and plays defense like Roger Dorn.


P.S. You're still a pussy.

P.P.S. BTW, I am not feeling near enough hate - feels like a normal week. I was really expecting you to step up in crunch time - you are definitely a Mizzou fan.

1:04 PM  
Anonymous ohf said...

"hate week" = snoozefest. i thought this blog was supposed to piss me off and get me ready for this game? so far nothing but the same old crap and lies. just like the podcast roundtable last year featuring a "husker" fan and yourself and the message board.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Ross said...

Finally, one of my posts gets a response.

I never said I was not worried, but you have to admit that there is a difference in 415 on 102 vs 415 on 70. How do I explain the 102 plays? Here is how. Our O had 3 turnovers, when they did score they did it fast (28 points in 20 min T.O.P. for the game) and our D blows in that they allow time consuming drives. I am worried because we could not stop the 100th best offense from driving, but I am "less worried" because we did not give 8 yards per play like in previous games.

My point is simply this: For every 30 plays a team runs, no matter how good the D is, you can expect 100 yards of offense. Therefore, I do not get as worked up about your throwing the total yards number around as I do about the yards per play number.

PS - I love your little come backs. "Douche, Quacker" It is original things like this that I would miss too much if I ever left. Therefore, I must return. Your writings do not bother me, but I do love how worked up you can get over some guy writing crap in the comments section.

PPS - I love you.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

I still say 45-16 NU. Mostly because it seems to spin your wheels as much as you placing us 5th in the North does me.

Honestly, here is how I see it. I don't think it is going to be the shootout everyone is expecting. I think we are going to see some attempt to be ball control by both sides, I think we are going to see mistakes by both sides, and I also think we are going to see a half time score of something like 13-10 maybe 14-7...pickem. It is then the team that adjusts well and has a plan in the thrid quarter that likely wins. I do not think either coach has shown an advantage in that department. However, you are a Tiger, I am a Husker, so I think NU makes the adjustments. Again, just a game. I will be enjoying my weekend either way.

2:01 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Ross, if you're remotely excited that a post by you got a response...you've got problems. The fact that you're a douche or a Quaker (not quacker...ugh)....has nothing to do with it.

You are not exactly breaking new ground. 100,000 people have visited this site since July. Most of them don't agree with me. If you can POSSIBLY come up with some new comeback..some new angle...then I'm ALL for it.

If not, you're just a quacker and an attention whore.

You couldn't hold Corn Ridden Shit Guy's jock on your best day. Go back to listening to Rome and practice up. You don't even get a C for effort at this point.


PS - You have my permission to print this out and show your friends.

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If not, you're just a quacker and an attention whore."

Aj calling someone else an attention whore...cue Alanis Morriset in 3..2...

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Missouri Husker Fan said...

And by the way. This blog entry pales in comparison to your Oct 1st entry "Judgment Day Cometh". I thoroughly enjoyed your personal attack on my history and heritage and found your seething anger to be brilliant! How many warm Schlitz and bouts with diarrhea did it take to bring you to that level? It is my biggest hope that the Kitties will get their asses beat to a bloody pulp just so I can see your reply.

Nice work..keep bringin it. You suck.

3:38 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Your history and heritage?

Somebody broke AJ's blog rule #1.

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Missouri Husker Fan said...

I didn't say I was hurt. I'm diggin it!

3:51 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

MHF, we're OK me and you.

I hear ya.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

Man AJ. I am disappointed. I keep hearing about hate week. So far it is mild disappointment week.

I had an offer of 4 tickets for the game Saturday, but turned them down. As much as I would love to personally witness--once again--the Huskers beat down the Tigers to the chants of "Husker Home Game", I simply can't bring myself to be around that many slack jawed gomers drunk on Milwaukees Best yelling "Go Tigers" through their three, poorly maintained teeth.

I hear that Pinkel is going to have a "Gold Out" and that the team is going to come out in all gold uniforms. Yea, that works.

4:18 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Oh please, I can't even drop F'bombs anymore because you pansy asses can't handle it.

Now that I've gone more corporate, I still have to play within boundries. If I wanted to just act like an idiot 15 year old and throw out lame things that aren't funny....I would.

I'd probably start with booger talk.

(this is me rolling my eyes at you)

4:53 PM  
Blogger Husker4Yankees said...

Booger talk cracked me up.

I understand the other part. Maybe I should just give you my email so you can send me f'bomb laden diatribes.

I have not seen as many tigers on here this week as I expected either.....although depending on game results, there could be a ton here on sunday morn

4:59 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

uh-oh.. are F'bombs off limits now? I don't think I've been able to post without one....

5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find it amusing that Husker fans are blaming their three turnovers for the fact that Iowa State ran 102 plays. The Cyclones turned the ball over four times themselves.

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You bring up Jim Rome, you probably beat off to him, and a picture of Brad Smith All day don't you? To bad for you Jim Rome does not even know that they play football in Mizzu. You just keep being part of the Jungle, and hope Jim returns one of youre love letters. FREAK!

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Aggie Lou said...


Love the site, good luck against the NUBBs, I don't think you will need it.

I am hoping to see Mizzou and my 'Cats hold serve for the big showdown in Manhattan this year for the North.

9:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck you Aj I never called you a liar you are a fan of the SHOW ME STATE lets see you show me some pics of the fish you said you caught.

Now with that being said I will bet my left nut that who ever has the rock last will win this game.

As always.
You Can Eat A Mile Of My Corn Ridden Shit And Kiss My Husker Ass

10:00 PM  
Anonymous corn blight said...

Maybe it's time for your pain to end. Maybe it's your time for karma.
The Flea-Kicker. The Fifth Down.

You'll probably use up all your stored up karma beating us and then lose to KSU along with the North title later on.

Nebraskans have endless good karma because a higher power also gave us the flattest, most uninteresting stretch of land in the US - the Platte River Valley. It's too make up for having a really long, flat stretch of road to Colorado.

We may lose this game, but we'll still win the North.
You bastard.

11:31 PM  
Anonymous ms said...

What I like best about hate week,

#1 hating the cornhuskers
#2 hearing all the husker fans complain about not enough hate on AJ's board
#3 hating the cornhuskers
#4 knowing that 8% of husker fans will commit "combine-o-side"...thats suicide by jumping in front of one of their leased combines
#5 getting the satisfaction knowing that its going to be a very long, long, long, long ride home back to their little red houses in their little red rooms in good ol Nebraska, full of tears, anger and many phone calls to their buddies trying to understand which town in missouri the referees are from
#6 listening to husker fans avoid the topic of them losing
#7 hating the cornhuskers
#8 hating the cornhuskers, they are awful

1:27 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

bornred, that cracked me up. well done.

Sorry for the delay guys, I got sidetracked. I'll get something out this morning.

7:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a PUNK. Let me know if you EVER visit Lincoln. I'd love to kick your @ss... I mean, meet you.

9:52 PM  

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