Day 2 of Hate Week

Day 2 and the silence is deafening. The radio shows have been a joy to listen to this week, as callers argue about just how long it should take to "rebuild" a program. As of Tuesday, the focus hasn't even really touched on Saturday's opponent, although I have seen growing signs of confidence.

However, this is nothing like years past, where my fellow co-workers have made my life difficult to say the least. I think they know that if they do lose...I will not only have 3 of 4 years of bragging rights...but I will also be a fan of the team who pushed their football program into oblivion forever.

As for the game itself, I don't really have a feeling about the whole thing just yet. The Missouri fan in me tells me that God has and always will hate the Tigers. For that, he will never let their fans taste victory over the most evil form of filth on the planet. However, the temptation is always there for hope..espeically when looking at what the Huskers bring to the table this weekend.

Their secondary is now not only pathetic, but now pathetic and banged up. Fans who just 8 days ago touted their linebackers as some of the best in the country, now clearly admit that guys less than 100% such as McKeon or Octavian (I don't care if I spelled them wrong) will have a bit of trouble covering 6'5 Martin Rucker and 6'6 Chase Coffman. If Missouri coaches were smart (and needless to say the jury is still way out on that one), they will throw the ball deep and often..just as Kansas did last month. There is no possible way on earth that the Huskers secondary can keep up with Mizzou's receivers.

At the same time, Mizzou is going to have a difficult time keeping Brandon Jackson and company in check. It's no secret that the Missouri front 7 have taken some beatings lately, but their numbers aren't horribly bad. A&M, Colorado and KSU all got yards because the blitz packages took away the pass. Just as the Hick secondary is a positive for Mizzou...the loss of Brian Smith and a constant beating on the line is a plus for the Husker power game.

But the question is...will Clownahan keep pounding away at the Tiger defense with the run? Unlike ISU or KSU, Missouri can score quickly and pretty consistently. Even against a salty defense like Oklahoma, K-State and Colorado, Mizzou still racked up over 380 yards against each. The Tigers will move the ball against the Hicks...but how many mistakes will they make? If Mizzou jumps out in front, will Callahan have the nuts to start airing it out? (And take on the Tiger rush, which nearly killed Zac Taylor last year.)

There are so many twists and turns in this game...there's no clear way to call it. Vegas has put the Huskers as 7 point favorites...which is pretty ridiculous to me for a team that gave up tons of yards all season..and is now facing one of the most potent offenses in the Big 12. And unlike against Texas, where the elements took away from the Horn's ability to move the ball..the forecast calls for 60 degrees and sunny.

I'm not ready to declare victory or defeat in this case...but as I've stated all along...I will not go down without a fight. The beast may be taking his last breath this weekend. Will he get up off the mat? Or will he melt under the stress and die?

We'll find out in 4 days.

Day 1 of the Great Hate Festival - 2006

Day one of the 2006 Hate festival in my workplace, and the battleground is nothing that I've ever encountered.

In years past..both in my current job and my past one...I've been welcomed to MU-NU week with a variety of taunts and jokes that have ranged from red construction paper tacked to my office door to sabotage of my computer to display red fonts on everything I type. I've walked into work on Monday with a drawer full of Big Red gum. I've walked into meetings where Hail Varsity has been playing as the hold music. I've been taunted, teased, baited and abused for years prior to Nebraska beatdowns of various proportions. I've had my front yard toilet papered with red Charmin. I've had photos of games gone by mailed to me without return addresses.

Yet today...the first full day of the annual right of fall...a strange silence has fallen over the landscape.

Nothing.

Not a single e-mail. Not a taunting phone call. Not a photo, not crank phone call. It's almost as if it's the same as any other day. Hell, even when I try to taunt them into some banter, I'm either met with no reply or a, "We're both really bad." So this is what things have come to?

I'm truly sailing in uncharted waters. Not only is my team looking at a 3rd win in 4 years over a team that had beaten them every single year of my life between my pre-teen years all the way into my 30's. I've stated this in replies and on message board posts throughout the last couple of days...but it still rings true. The dark mood and nervousness of this state is nothing I've ever seen before. In 2004, (before my team was once again kicked in the nuts in Lincoln) there was despair...but with glimmers of hope. Even though they were struggling, there were always cries of, "Wait til Cally gets his own players. We'll be back." Even after my taunts last season after yet another late game Husker choke-fest, I was met with "We're young...we'll restore the order soon."

So how about now?

The Huskers and their overmatched coaching staff is sitting on the cusp of armageddon. Should the Silver and Black fluky with the pale blue eyes fail this weekend...his next job will be greeting shoppers at Wal-mart. You see, there won't be any, "We're young" or "We'll be back". There won't be anything at all. What will have happened, should the Hicks lose this weekend, is the great red unknown. This man and his boss (who has been uncharacteristically absent over the last couple of days) destroyed a program that was 40 years in the making. A big red machine that bulldozed opponents and basically pillaged an entire conference for 30 years. Bill Callahan and Steve Pederson were the lifeboat to sail the Nebraska football program through the turbulent waters of change...expecting to come out clean as a whistle when they reach land on the other side.

But the sight of land is a long way away. If Bill Callahan fails this season, the Huskers will be right back where they once were..only this time without a life jacket. Their vaunted tradition...gone. Their crushing ground game...gone. The fear that they once instilled into every opponent...gone. Nothing will be left but a big fan N on the side of the helmets that may as well stand for "Nothing left". This game is the gateway into that hell for Husker fan.

I for one certainly feel the pressure...pressure from other schools and fans like Colorado, K-State and Iowa State...who would LOVE to have the chance to knock the big red nation off the cliff, and into the big fat black hole that is mediocrity. Chances like this don't come around very often...which is why I'm going at this at full throttle this week. Again, don't get me wrong...I'm WELL aware of the problems and challenges that await my favorite team this week. I'm WELL aware that God hates Missouri and will never let them or their fans taste the sweet taste of victory.

This is simply an opportunity I can't pass up.

Next Monday morning, I may find my car completely encased in red cellophane. I may walk into my office next Monday and find pictures of Scott Frost in every nook and cranny of the room. But with an opportunity like this...with the wooden stake ready to be plunged through the heart..and that's a chance I just have to take.

The hate train will roll on this week....whether or not anybody jumps onto the tracks is yet to be seen.

Time will tell.

Uhhh...hello?????

24 hours from the first shot, and not a single "Fuck you" or "We're going to stomp your team this week."

What gives?

Big sale at Kohls this week?
Yardwork?
So confident you're already on Texas boards running smack?

Come on now..you guys are better than this.

AJ

Judgment Day has Arrived....Let There be Hate

(Warning, the following rant contains vulgar and crude language...even more than usual. Parental guidance is suggested)


And so here we are.

Many times in life we face a crossroads of sorts. Throughout our lives, we can actually see individual worlds collide. Sometimes we can actually see into the future just how unpleasant and painful the upcoming shall be. This week, is one of those times.

For the next seven days, I am going to take you on a journey through hatred seldom seen by mortal man. Just thinking about the fucking jackoffs in my office and putting up with their fucking bullshit for five straight days makes my blood boil. The constant snipes in meetings. The e-mails. The links. The fight songs to start a conference call. Hell hath no fury like a sports fan scored...and now, judgment day is nearly here.

But this is no ordinary week.

Up 16-0 today on barely-better-than-mediocre Oklahoma State, running through holes that Mark Mangino could fit into...the Nebraska University state sponsored football team splattered themselves on the sidewalk yet again. It was messy. It was dirty. It was absolutely surreal. A team that lost to Kansas State and Houston bitchslapped the Huskers like Ike Turner on day 3 of a 4 day coke bender. The Huskers were exposed as frauds yet again on the gentle Oklahoma plains. But the story doesn't stop there. Not today.

Up next is the game that will decide whether or not Husker fan reaches his pre-set summer goals (By "goals" I mean demands, I also mean those Husker fans who weren't fucking stupid enough to predict 11-1 seasons and the like). Up next is the biggest test of Bill Callahan's patheticly overrated career. One loss to Missouri on Saturday, and the entire state of Nebraska will implode like nothing we have ever seen before. You think 2004 was bad? What will happen when year three of the great Oakland flunky experiment is sitting at 6-4 with a road game at Texas A&M sitting on deck? What will happen when one of the downtrodden teams of the North..a similarly pathetic Missouri Tiger squad comes in and beats the Hicks on their own turf...for the third time in four years?

How will Husker fan, Husker player, Husker coaches and Husker AD react when being put into this corner? I have no earthly idea. Missouri comes in limping after a spirited, but pathetic effort against a vanilla Oklahoma team that is loaded with athletes. (Although very beatable) Absolutely nothing went right for the Tigers on Saturday, setting up nuclear armageddon that has been foreseen for many many months.

No matter how we got to this point...this is where fate has put us. It's you against me. It's me against all of you. I don't intend to go down with the bat on my shoulders.

You fucking assclowns deserve to go down in the tangled, gooey mess that you and your AD have made for yourselves. I hope you realize how much fun it will be to walk into that stadium...and look every single overall wearing geezer in the eyes that I can...staring into their charcoal crusted souls...and telling them that I'm not going down without a fucking fight. I am going to see to it that I am as foul, as vile and as evil of a visiting fan that has ever walked into that 300 year old shithole on 10th Street you call Mecca.

No matter what the final score, for those 60 minutes I will know I will have done my part to look the beast directly in the eyes when prior to his death. I want to be Linda Hamilton when she cries out, "You're terminated fucker" as the vice slowly clamps down and drains the energy out of a once great predator. I want to be there when the shit hits the proverbial fan. I want to stare each and every one of you fucking people in the eyes as you file quietly out. I want to witness the execution. I want to see it all end.

Husker fan has indeed reached a point of no return this week. A point where they can no longer go home...a place they can no longer find shelter. If the Huskers lose this game, church bells will ring...celebrations will erupt and cheers will echo into the night sky as one of the most menacing programs in the history of American sports dies a slow and painful death. Sure in the end, I may leave disappointed, but the table has been set. Missouri may kick me in the face again, as they've done so so many times before. I'm prepared for that. I've been down that road before. This however is an opportunity that cannot be wasted. It's not very often you get to see the death of an program...but I'll be fucking damned if I'm going to miss it and swing for the fences as hard as I can.

I'm either going to wiff...or I'm going to jack one out of the park. There is no in between.

I hope you all have a miserable fucking week that matches how true shitty fans such as yourself deserve . I hope you flood the airwaves with calls, trying to breakdown just what has gone wrong in Steve O's grand plan. But most of all...above all else...If by some chance the big red ship does sink to the bottom of the ocean on Saturday...I want you to think of me....and how I carried the torch for all the teams you pompously stepped on all these years. I want you to think about all the times you arrogantly clapped for some team you got done beating 70-3. I want you to think about how much joy there is watching the death of a program that has been such a wart on the ass of college football for all these years.

I hope you have a great week worrying about all of these things. I hope you find trust and hope in each other. I hope you realize just how fucked you and your team really is. I hope you realize how the entire world is against you.

Let the carnival of hate begin. (And it's only Sunday)

AJ

I'm still here (mini post)

FYI, I'm still here. I'm still alive.

I'm going to watch this NU game and then head out to the hockey game, but I didn't want you people to get the wrong idea.

Quick take on Mizzou: NO WAY can you make that many mistakes and expect to beat OU. (Who looked very very vanilla if you ask me.) Would have been nice to see how that would have gone if Coffman catches a wide open TD, the "roughing" the punter penalty etc. Plus, when Pinkel pulled Temple for fumbling, it was over...because a team without a running game is pretty much fucked in that situation.

All in all...as with this NU-OSU game right now..it doesn't mean a whole lot. Next week decides the north.

We shall see.

Congrats to my St. Louis readers

I know a lot of St. Louis readers hit this site, so I thought I'd drop a congratulations. As a native Kansas Citian, this goes against my nature, but St. Louis truly deserves a title with the passion of their fans year after year. Now let that whole Dinkenger thing die, and go celebrate your World Title.

Props again.

Calm Before the Storm

One of the many questions I often get, both here and in real life is something to the effect of, "Why are you so angry? What's your problem with Husker fans? Everybody knows they're the class of college football. Why don't you get it."

There are lots of answers to that question. The best way I can explain it is to paraphrase a story that Joe Queenan told in his book True Believers. Queenan was in Paris working as a writer and he decided to hit the town and see some sights. He had traveled a lot, and had a lot of various t-shirts and hats. On that particular day, he decided to stroll through the city of light with a faded retro Cubs hat on. On his way back to the hotel, he became lost, and as many idiot Americans do (especially those from the east coast), he decided that NONE of the locals would help him with directions.

After some futile attempts to get directions from locals, he located two rather large guys walking down the street wearing Chicago White Sox jackets. He was relieved, because as any of you who travel overseas know...it's always comforting to run into one of your countrymen when dealing with the riff-raff that is the rest of the world. Anyhow, as the men approached, he started to speak as one of them glanced at his hat. Before Queenan could complete his sentence, one of the men belted out, "Fuck you" as he walked right past him.

Only true hatred brought fourth by sports could cause two men from the same city to treat another that way..especially in a place 4,500 miles away. They say sports can bring cities together. They say sports can draw people from all walks of life to cheer as one. Of course this is true. But at the same time, a team, a rivalry or in my case an entire fan base can push you the other way. The constant, inscencent, 24/7 barrage of self-proclaimed greatness is enough to drive anybody into the depths of madness. To prove my point, for those of you in Omaha...can you name me ONE person (Besides Omaha World Herald Columnist Tom Shatel) who has transplanted to Omaha that BECAME a Husker fan? I don't mean a casual go-to-the-occasional-watch-party fan. I'm talking HARD CORE Husker fan. (The kind that only wear red on Fridays, stick flags and decals all over their giant Red Tahoe and named their son "Osborne") I have lived here over 20 years, and aside from Benedict Tom...I can't name one.

That's why I feel it's important to let those of you outside these prison walls know what it's actually like on the inside. I'm sure many of you Colorado or Kansas State or Missouri fans have heard what it's like here, but without confirmation, it would remain just outside your worst nightmares. Need another example? Think North Korea with Steve Pederson as Kim Jung Il. It's not that far off trust me.

* I have so much to add here, but in light of the week of hell that starts Saturday afternoon. "How can you get even MORE hateful" you ask? Trust me...this is how I am when I just have to deal with this crap on an everyday basis. The game next weekend...despite what happens on Saturday, is the biggest Missouri vs. Nebraska game in my lifetime. Never has so much been on the line. Never have the worlds of my fandom crashed with my white-hot boiling hatred for all things Husker.

All I can do is prepare you and apologize for those of you who might be offended over the next 10 days or so. It's going to be vile. It's going to be foul. It's going to be hatred on a scale very few ever reach in their lifetime.

I hope you're ready for it.

Somebody Woke up on the Wrong Side of the Bed

Am I the only person that has noticed a considerable crabbiness falling over the Husker Nation this week? Don't get me wrong...it's bound to happen when you are seconds away from a "program turning" victory over a top 10 team, only to piss it away like calling the prom queen the wrong name. If that were me, I'd probably be a bit agitated as well.

But thank God I'm not. What we do have creeping into the psyche of Husker fan is a slow, steady diet of reality. Let's go back to this summer when radio call in shows, newscasters, fans and "experts" alike were all saying the same thing about Bill Callahan's bunch. Let's go back to those horribly long days in July, where everybody and their mom was going through the schedule of every Big 12 team. Let's go back to the comments on Big 12 media day in Kansas City back in August. Do you remember that?

"Anything less than the North title is a failure for this team."

Well, where are we now? We are now 2/3 of the way done with the season, and the mighty Huskers are in a dogfight for the north. Granted, nobody (except for a few crack smoking idiots) thought NU would beat USC. For the most part, nobody thought they'd beat Texas as well. But for the most part, many people would believe that late October would be just about the time Herbie Husker separated himself from the rest of the pack. Hasn't quite worked out that way? Not only have the Huskers run into a Missouri team that won't go away...they now are looking at a pretty rough stretch to end the season. Meanwhile, their biggest threat to the North title still has pathetic Iowa State and Kansas on the schedule, as well as a home game with an Adrian Peterson-less Oklahoma Sooner team.

Why the pessimism? Because suddenly, a trip to Stillwater doesn't quite look like the slam dunk it once was. After the Missouri clash on the 4th, the Huskers waltz into one of the toughest environments in sports against a 7-1 Texas A&M team that promises to be a trap letdown game if there ever was such a thing. Even the Colorado Buffaloes, who started the year with six straight losses, look to be vastly improved by the time they walk into then giant red nursing home on 10th street the Friday after Thanksgiving.

So why is Husker fan suddenly so pissed off? How come off-hand little comments to me have turned more and more aggressive? How come Husker fan is so nervous? Oh don't get me wrong...many, MANY Husker fans have already made their plans to head for Kansas City on December 2nd. And now that Texas had their struggles in Lincoln last week, many are even now throwing around the "B" word...as in "BCS" should they get their much anticipated rematch at Arrowhead with the Horns.

Despite four tough weeks that lie ahead, Husker fan is pissed off because he is staring down the barrel of a completely pissed away season and a trip down mediocrity lane. The best part is...it may not even be of their own doing. Even if they do beat Missouri on 11/4 (which they very well will be favored by 7 or more points), they still have two extremely difficult road games that didn't look so tough back in August. If Missouri were to beat Oklahoma this weekend, even a loss in Lincoln wouldn't be enough to destroy the Tigers' hopes of a North division title, because of their games against North cellar dwellers to end the season. Therefore, the key to the Hicks' season may not lie against the Tigers in early November. It may be decided a week later on the plains of southeast Texas, as 85,000 screaming and swaying Aggie fans scream down the world's most unimaginative offense. Needless to say, Husker fan is in a bit of a pickle.

So will Steve Pederson's vision of another Corn dynasty come true? Will Husker fan spend the first weekend in December frolicking on the plaza, taking in the lights? Will the Huskers have that rematch that Mack Brown guaranteed this past weekend?

Perhaps. Perhaps Husker fan isn't scared of all at a "mediocre" Okie State team and an "overrated" A&M team that "hasn't beaten anyone." Perhaps Husker fan is just pissed off because the world still hasn't recognize his greatness? Perhaps they didn't see Nebraska fans CHEERING...yes CHEERING their own team after a 2 point choke to Texas? Isn't that worth a few AP votes right there!?!?! But despite all of that, the road to restoring the mythical order is a bit rougher than many Husker fans predicted just a few months ago. How else would you explain their panties in a proverbial bunch this week? How else would you explain the unusual venom that Husker fan is throwing around over the last couple of days? Should the Huskers slip this weekend in Stillwater, look for Joe Husker to be more uncomfortable than Richard Simmons judging a Hawaiian Tropic bikini contest. And isn't that what we all want to see anyway?

PS - Zebrahead's 5th album, Broadcast to the World is available in the United States TODAY at a Best Buy, Amazon or iTunes near you. http://www.zebrehead.tv/

And the Stakes Get Higher

Quite a weekend.

If you live within the Nebraska state lines, or are one of those dumbasses who have absolutely LOVED the Huskers since you were a kid because you found some keychain when you were five or some stupid ass story...I'm surprised you're here. If my team were to get kicked in the nuts like that...and they have...trust me, I wouldn't be anywhere near a site like this. But if you are...good for you.

For the rest of us...lets break down a few things from over the weekend.

* As we've stated all season, each and every Husker game has a theme. After the last Husker loss, the theme was anger. Anger from the farmer people that head coach Bill Callahan should have done more than puss out in front of a national TV audience. This week, a very different feel has come over the Husker faithful. A word that hasn't been thrown around since right about this time last year, when a spunky team from Lubbock punked the hicks in their own backyard.

"Moral Victory"

Yes, the same people who threw fits when experts questioned their team after an overtime win over Kansas, are now demanding that the college football world take notice that they can ALMOST beat a team that gave up 31 points to Baylor. It is true that Texas is defending National Champions and are easily the best team in the south. (I'm not completely sure they're better than A&M, but we shall see). But within that "moral victory" are a few key points that the corn people don't really realize or don't want to admit.

First of all, it is unfortunate that Nunn fumbled the ball. Seriously..that hurts. But any group of fans that won a fucking National title because some child molester kicked a ball on the goal line OVER HIS HEAD with his ankles, does not get much sympathy from me. With that being said, nobody is giving credit to the guy for making an outstanding hit to jar the ball loose. It was an outstanding hit, where Nunn had no chance. He caught the ball, had two hands on it..and the helmet hit the ball after he turned his head. (Plus, it was freaking snowing). That's life. Sucks for you.

Second, is the fact that aside from your whopping 38 yards rushing, Texas did everything they could to give that game away. Lest we not forget a missed PAT? How bout two HORRIBLE missed field goals? How about the opening kickoff, where the Texas returner let up and got tackled at the 10? When Mack Brown tried the dumbest trick play in the history of man, the Horns only settled for a chip shot field goal. There's four points there. True, if's and buts...I realize, but Nebraska did everything they could to even stay in it. A trick halfback pass here, a couple of DB's run into each other there. (On Purify's TD). It was not as if Nebraska used suffocating drives to snuff the life out of the UT defense.

Did I mention it was snowing? How many times have you ever seen the university of Texas win a game in the snow? I'm trying to think of one, and I can't even remember them playing in the cold..let alone a snowstorm.

But alas, the better team won...Nebraska lost. Life goes on. Moral victories are fine and dandy if you are into those sort of things. I told you before the game that this Texas team wasn't even CLOSE to the team that won the national title last year. I told you their defense was suspect. I told you Colt McCoy's numbers were mediocre at best. But still...you didn't listen.

Now lies the biggest of trap games for NU as they head to Stillwater to play an OSU team that nobody knows anything about. Will the mighty Hicks restore the order and prevail yet again with their biggest game of the year looming the following week? Will the blackshirts who were torched by Adam Barmann show up? or the group that shocked the world and pulled off the greatest moral victory in the history of sports take the field? We shall see.

* The Huskers' biggest threat to their waltz to Kansas City* (anointed by Mack Brown and every member of the Omaha media) is the Missouri Tigers. Mizzou lost their best rushing defensive lineman in Brian Smith during the monsoon in Columbia this past weekend. I didn't get a chance to listen to much of the game, but it sounded pretty much exactly as the experts had thought. The argument as to whether or not Josh Freeman should have been named the starting QB for the Cats will rage on, as Ron Prince tries to put his stamp on the program.

Another big test awaits Mizzou as the Adrian Peterson-less Oklahoma Sooners come to town next weekend. Mizzou for some reason has been rather resilient this season behind first year starter Chase Daniel. The key for Mizzou to jump on the Sooners is Chase Coffman, their outstanding 6'7 Tight End. The guy had a tremendous game against K-State, and is finding the ball more and more. The key to the game will lie in how well OU keeps the Mizzou offense off the field. Missouri fans have finally started to believe in Gary Pinkel's team, and may actually show up this coming weekend as they did this past Saturday. With the NU game looming, I could see a letdown..but this team is only a knocked fumble out of the end zone away from being 8-0.

Should the Tigers prevail, I don't need to tell you what lies on the other side of Saturday. I'm trying not to think about it...but rest assured, it will not be pretty on this site.

* Here is one last thing that kind of goes with that last paragraph. I got a lot of e-mails this weekend that said things like, "If the Huskers would have won, you would have looked like an idiot. You wouldn't have shown your face on your site." This is completely not true.

This is what a lot of you idiots don't get. This is NOT a website about the in's and out's of Nebraska's 2006 team. This is not a fansite that breaks down games...looks at in-depth issues, nor will one game EVER change my opinion of all things Husker. This site is designed to look at things that happen EVERY DAY rather than 12 times a year on football Saturdays. Do I want the Hicks to lose every game? Of course. But that doesn't mean I can't find anything to point out to the rest of the world just how myopic, clueless and arrogant the Red Nation is.

So no matter what happens this year, you will always be able to count on me to bring the truth to the masses. Even when the Huskers were winning Championships, it was still as easy as a first date with Paris Hilton to find faults and misconceptions surrounding the "greatest fans in college football." In many ways, it is almost easier to run a site like this when Nebraska is successful.

So those of you hoping...wishing...dreaming for Husker success just to shut me up...you better have some patience. Because no matter how good your team actually is...there will always be a Lawrence Phillips..or a sportscaster who cries over a victory on TV, or a guy who walks around shopping malls with a dead rat with Husker autographs. The ridiculous life of Husker fan will continue...and so will I.

More to come as armegeddon grows closer...now only 5 short days away.

(Photo thanks Lincoln Journal-Star and the digital Missourian)

A Dynasty was Built to Crumble

Today in Lincoln, one of the most dominant powers in college football will take the field. They'll come to the stadium with tradition, national championships, and a swagger that resembles John Wayne in Hondo. College football analysts will comment on their poise, their conditioning and their abundant skill.

And Nebraska will be there too.

Omaha World Herald columnist, registered traitor and full-fledged Husker homer talks in this morning's paper about Nebraska's status as a national power. (here) Mr. Shatel states that although Nebraska is fighting back through respectability, Steve Pederson has set the bar high enough, that basically the Huskers have no choice but to regain their status as one of college football's premier programs.

If you say so Tom.

Here's the way I look at it. College football, unlike any other spectator sport, supports dynasties better than anywhere else. Because of the large numbers of scholarships, the differences between athletic budgets and the facilities arms race that is carried out by mega-donors of all types, it is nearly impossible to crack college football's top echelon. At the same time, it's nearly impossible to destroy a great program, although there are signs of that all around. In his article, Mr. Shatel brings up that USC, Oklahoma and others have come back from the dead to take their rightful place on the throne. (All because Husker fans are so great..which I'll get to in a second.)

Aren't there some teams missing from that list? How about Alabama? How about Notre Dame? How about Army? How about BYU? Didn't they win a national title? When was the last time Florida State did anything? Big powers, little powers...they all have their problems. What the Texas writer in the article was trying to say was simple, and of course Tom missed it.

You'll never be Nebraska again.

This is what the Hick nation doesn't, and will never understand. They didn't understand the WAY the Huskers used to beat teams. The very system that Steve Pederson dismissed as "out of date" was the same system that literally choked the life out of opposing teams. Even with mediocre talent and pasty Nebraska farm boys (who for some reason are no longer a pipeline to major college football teams for some reason) used to run people over and literally push their way toward the end zone.

I don't think a majority of Husker fans..and definitely Homer Tom will understand that. You can change your style. You can change your philosophy. You can put 10 more signs on your stadium that say just how great you are...but you will NEVER get that swagger back. You will NEVER intimidate teams and fans they way you once did. I'm not sure why this is so hard for you to understand. College football dynasties, as difficult as they are to destroy, are not kept alive just because your fans all wear the same color.

Steve Pederson has made sure that the old way...the Nebraska way of winning with clock control, ground productivity and players who beat women, will never be seen again. Sure, you may have some magical season where you go 10-2. Hell, you may do that in the next year or two. But you will never ever ever reach the level of domination you have running through your head.

Maybe you should have enjoyed it more when it happened.

Order Restored?

Ask Army.

Trick or Treat - Random Friday Thoughts

Some random thoughts on the eve of a semi-mediocre football weekend.


*I wrote a couple of days ago that I wasn't feeling a good Texas showing in Lincoln this weekend. I actually take that back. The more I think about it..the more I'm giving Husker home field WAYYYYYYY to much credit. For one, most of the UT team has played in the National Championship game before. (Including Colt McCoy, who was on the sidelines at the game) Secondly, this is Lincoln we're talking about. You know Lincoln? The place where elderly season ticket holders from the Eisenhower administration like to sit and politely golf clap as another fine upstanding young man helps make their tax write off worth while? Memorial Stadium is about as hostile as Euro Disney in January. And finally, even if it WAS loud, wouldn't the Husker DB's just complain about it anyway?

Like most other games, this match up is going to come down to who has the better athletes and the best coaching. Texas is CLEARLY ahead of Nebraska in that regard. Something tells me Clownahan is going to try and get fancy with the passing game this weekend, which may get Zac Taylor killed. These are exactly the type of games where the NU coaching staff tries to do more than they are capable of, and end up getting burned. Or, it may be like the USC game, and they may just quit during the 1st quarter. We shall see.

*I've bitched about this before...but watching the St. Louis Cardinals last night win the pennant reminded me why I hate modern baseball so much. Much has been said about how steroids are hurting the game. Much has been said about how billionaire owners and millionaire players are ruining the game. However, one thing that has ruined the game that nobody talks about is the three division format with the wildcard. The reason nobody talks about it, is because by the time people realize that some mediocre team is storming through the playoffs (don't get mad Cards fans....it's not your fault the system is flawed), it's too late. The counter argument is that it keeps more team involved in the playoff chase longer.

My argument to that is...the Florida Marlins winning the World Series every other year doesn't do ANYBODY any good...nor does having having a team struggling (such as St. Louis this year) as bad as the Cards have winning the NL pennant. I'll say this again. NOT the Cards or their fans' fault. Once you get into the playoffs, everything is out the window. But the problem I see is that baseball is a marathon. Just because a team is in a shitty division is no reason to reward them by putting them next to the Kenyan runner with 100 feet to go in the race.

See what I mean? Probably not...but I think it sucks.

*Mizzou and K-State this weekend and not much excitement on either side. KSU is coming of a humiliating loss to the Hicks, while Mizzou comes in hurting after pissing away a win at a decent-but-not-great A&M team. Weather is calling for some nasty conditions, which doesn't bode well for either team really. Freeman likes to run around and throw on the run, and the Mizzou offense runs on quick routes and rythem. Looks like it's going to come down to the defenses, which could make this painful to watch. (Luckily, the Big 12 TV contract sucks ass so much, nobody will see it anyway.) I can't see KSU scoring much on the Tiger defense, but I don't see Mizzou putting up huge numbers as well. I'll take Mizzou and 10 points, but wouldn't be suprised if it was a struggle the whole way through.

* Finally, something is really pissing me off. I'm not an overly religious person. I enjoy fall and the cooler temps, the splash of color on the trees and the sound of football 6 nights a week. But can somebody tell me when Halloween became fucking Christmas?

You know what I'm talking about. For some reason, American's today feel that they owe it to their fellow man to show his or her neighbors just how much they LOVE Halloween. Is there some reason why the guy who lives behind me has a 10 foot inflatable ghost on his front patio? Is there some sort of logical reason why the neighbors down the street painted their front door black and orange? Is there some sort of reason every single PTA, neighborhood association, cub scout troop and church club has to have some sort of fall festival? I told you last week how much I hate hayrack rides, but this is quickly becoming far worse.

Who decided Halloween was this big of a deal? Who decided that every bar in town had to have some blowout costume party? Who came up with the idea that in order for you to be "in the spirit", you have to haul 14 bails of hay to your front door, and plaster 42,000 pumpkins around your foundation? Again, this isn't some religious thing. I could care less how people express themselves. But Christmas I can see. Holiday season...birth of Jesus...a new year...festive. But Halloween? What's next? President's day foil along everybody's gutters? Giant pictures and replicas of Christopher Columbus greet you as you and your family get ready for the annual Columbus Day ho-down?

I hated Halloween as a kid...I hate it now. If I wanted to throw on somebody else's clothes and go out in the freezing cold begging for things...I'd quit my job, leave my family, dress up as a hobo and walk up and down the lower east side of Manhattan. Candy is overrated, those little bastard kids tramp through my lawn, and Mangleson's is the worst store on the planet. Let me know when Halloween Claus comes through my oven so I can officially declare this over hyped, over-publicized, overrated holiday to rest.

Trick or fucking treat.

I'm just not feeling it

This is already a long week.

I was all set to write about how Nebraska is going to get prison raped and left for dead on Saturday, when I felt a strange, sobering sensation. I wrote it off as the cold October rain, and set off to work. Just as I was about to set words to screen, I had a vision. That vision was the Texas secondary scrambling (at home) against a mediocre at best Baylor offensive scheme. Don't get me wrong, it's probably easy to overlook Baylor at home (when you rest 3 starters), but disturbing nonetheless.

I then went ahead and looked at some stats, and they were strikingly similar. Texas is #77 in the nation in passing defense...Nebraska is #86. (Memo to Gary Pinkel...THROW THE BALL on 11/4) Texas is #2 against the run, Nebraska is #21. Here's where it gets strange. Texas is #11 in total defense...Nebraska is #51. If their defense against running and passing is so close, why are the total yards so far apart? Is it because of the schedule? Texas played Ohio State, Nebraska played USC. Both teams have dined on more cupcakes than an Oprah book club meeting since then. Did Adam Barmann skew NU's defensive statistics? Did Texas get a boost from playing juggernauts Rice, North Texas and Sam Houston State? Is Texas really THAT good? (We know Nebraska isn't)

Things get even more strange. Both teams have moved the ball very effectively. Texas has scored often and through the air, putting up the 2nd best offensive numbers in the country to this point. Nebraska has grinded it out as of late, and struck quickly at times as well. They carry the #11 ranked offense in the country. Turnovers are fairly even as well. UT is #2 in turnover ratio, NU is #11.

Is it flash versus vanilla? Texas sports the quick moves of Jamaal Charles and Selvin Young, quite possibly the best running tandem in the country. Nebraska is lead by a four headed mediocre running back festival that literally bores a defense to death. (In recent games at least.) Limas Sweed is the Longhorn's home run threat. Purify fits that bill for the Hicks.

I think the reason I'm not feeling the usual Texas blowout is the weather. One thing I've learned over the years, is that Texas boys normally don't like games where its' 45 degrees and raining. Then again...Nebraska doesn't have a whole lot of Nebraskan's on the roster anymore...so that's a moot point as well.

So why do I feel this is still an easy UT victory despite fairly even stats, neutralizing weather and Nebraska's mediocre home-field advantage? (Yeah, I said mediocre. Don't forget, 3/4 of this UT team beat Ohio State in the horseshoe last year.)

The difference is coaching.

It doesn't take an MIT graduate to figure out that Mack Brown...with all of his problems has a pretty good handle on his team. Despite Bill Callahan's clever use of ball control over the bottom of the Big 12 North, he's going to need a bit more flash to beat UT. What this is going to come down to is poise and experience....something the Huskers absolutely do not have.

I've tried every single way I can think of to see Nebraska winning this game, and despite the improved talent and the fact that Texas hasn't left their own state yet...and I just can't do it. Texas has too much flash. Too much experience and too much talent to get tripped up. This is actually a very good match up for Nebraska, and you may not get a better chance to beat them than right here and right now. But when the chips are on the table, don't look to an NFL flunkie to throw down a full house and rake em in. I mean hell...if Adam Barmann can do it......

More to come this week.

Road Wins Just aren't Good Enough

In case you haven't figured it out, each week following a Husker game has a theme. After USC, it was the panic and the pathetic Husker running game. After Troy, it was how much tickets to Glendale, Arizona were and who to bring with to the National Title game. After Kansas it was how bad the DB's were. You get my drift.

This week however, a disturbing new pattern has hit Husker land. Listen to any talk radio program in this town for any length of time, and you will hear them. All afternoon yesterday...caller after caller...time after time. Let me paraphrase a typical caller:

"Hi Kevin/Matt/Jim/Trav, I'm a huge Husker fan, and I'm happy with the win and all (tobacco spit), but I just question why we're not stepping on people's throats. We're so much better than this. How come we only beat Josh Freeman (they like to think it was one person), by 18 points? If we play like this, we're going to get killed by the good teams. I'll hang up and listen to your reply as I brand this cow" ( I made that last part up. They usually don't hang up)

As I've stated one, two or a million times, Husker fan is set aside from regular sports fans..not because of who he is, but who he THINKS he is. In this case, he thinks he is back in 1995, beating teams by 50 points a game running a freakish 1950's offense while using nothing but unknown farm boys and street thugs from either coast. Husker fan is enamored with the fact that it wasn't just good enough to win a 1/2 National title or two a decade ago...but that they were the greatest dynasty in the history of sports. They were not just a great team, but an all-time team...thanks of course to the loyalty of the greatest fans in college football.* (*check the sign if you don't believe them)

But is this justified? SHOULD they be pounding the likes of KSU and Iowa State on the road? They're 6-1. They're in first place in the north. Shouldn't they be pounding teams to make them feel better? Do style points still matter? Is it wrong to demand more when you're 6-1? Well, they would if they were that damn good...which you and I both know they aren't.

Bill Callahan, in his first few recruiting class, put together some decent athletes for his college debut. (who wouldn't say "yes" to John Blake as he's rummaging through your mom's kitchen pantry for cookies on a recruiting visit, while he asks if you want to play in front of 80,000 people?) He's got four good-but-not-great backs. He's got a tough QB who isn't spectacular, but is capable of using his Trent Dilfer-esque skills in keeping the offense going. He's got a decent-but-not-great offensive line. His front four isn't bad, and has a great player in Carriker. Overall...a nice little team that takes care of business.

So why is Husker fan so pissed off?

Again, this all goes back to Husker fan's most basic need, which as I've said a thousand times, is for YOU to know how great HE is. How can you do that if you're only putting up 21 points against KSU? How can you know how great he is if you're only scoring 28 points on a pathetic ISU defense? As you can tell we're dealing some very serious issues here. At least the Corn people are going Don Quixote at the right time. Isn't it better to demand your team pound others by 50 points when you're sitting at 6-1 instead of 3-3? Makes sense to me.

Unfortunately, there are some problems that lay ahead. I'm not sure if you know this, but I have heard rumors that Texas is pretty good. Their defense is as fast as you will see, and the offense is quick and balanced. The early forecast is for 50 degrees and rainy conditions in Lincoln on Saturday...so perhaps that boring molasses offense Clownahan runs will be good for something after all? Of course I see an easy Texas victory coming on Saturday, but that's not to say things can't go wrong for the Horns. (See my game breakdown coming in the next few days.) I may have to let the weekend draw a bit closer in order to make that accurate of a prediction.

The Huskers have feasted on a buffet of struggling teams and stagnant offenses. Will 80,000 pasty farmers be able to will them to victory? Tune in tomorrow.

To Kill a Program - The UNO Hockey Story

For those of you from outside the Omaha area, I apologize for the following post. I think you'll quickly find that you most likely won't know what I'm talking about, and probably don't even care...so for that I will be cool with you moving on with your day, and visiting the blog tomorrow. I appreciate your patience and understanding. Unfortunately, this post has to be written.

For the rest of you....

As many of you know, I am a big hockey fan and have been since the University of Nebraska at Omaha decided to begin a Division One hockey team. (For those of you out of town, this is NOT...repeat NOT the Huskers. This is their little brother in Omaha who are not called the "Huskers", nor do they have a hick with a big ol shit-eatin grin on his face for a mascot. Just wanted to make that clear.)

In 1997, Omaha was electric with Maverick hockey fever. All 8,314 seats were sold out for the entire season. Even scalped tickets for games against UMass were hard to come by. The building was loud. The place was electric. The team was lousy, but it really didn't matter. Omaha finally had a team that the entire city could back. (Remember, this was back when Creighton students still didn't realize they had a basketball team). Just a couple of years after the Mavericks hit the ice, the team found themselves in the playoffs. After a deafening win over Bowling Green, the team was off to Detroit, where they ultimately finished runner up in the CCHA playoffs to mighty Michigan State. At that time, there was no limit to what the team could do. The future was as bright as the sun, as the team continued to move forward.

By 2002, the team was riding two 20+ win seasons, as they prepared to move into their new home at the Qwest Center Omaha. However, when the building opened, the team floundered. The Mavs went 8-26-5 in their first season. Luckily, head coach Mike Kemp righted the ship somewhat and steadied the team as they finished above .500 the following two years, including the team's first ever Hobbey Baker candidate (Scott Parse) and the team's first ever NCAA tourney birth. It seems that UNO fans should be on top of the world.

Or not.

Entering their 10th season, interest in UNO hockey has faded to charcoal black. Season tickets in the new building have fallen from 8,314 to just over 3,000 in only a few years. In the summer of 2006, UNO was rocked by an administration scandal that saw the dismissal of both the chancellor and her second in command, all for forging receipts and mismanagement of booster money respectively. UNO's advertising budget continued to be the financial equivalent of the Millard South Prom, with minimal advertising for it's most important sport. (Unless you count a few bus stops, which as we all know is right up there with a 30 second spot at the Super Bowl)

But buildings, conferences and players aren't the only thing that have changed. Once a well oiled poster child for college hockey fans, UNO's fan base has splintered into a collection of cliques and type-A personalities. Gone are the days where fans in mass would thunder down "U..N..O" onto opposing goalies. In the rearview mirror are the nights where thousands of hockey fans would act as a 7th man...willing a sometimes (at best) mediocre hockey team to close wins.

Today, UNO hockey is a shell of it's former self. The team boasts one of, if not the most exciting player in college hockey in Parse. The team returns nearly all of their scoring power (minus winger Bill Thomas, who bolted for the NHL and Wayne Gretzky. Still looking for a person who could blame him), yet the interest rival that of a Doodlebops Holiday Special. Stands are 1/2 as full as they were just five years ago. Noise levels match those of the Papillion Library during Sunday hours. And yet to this day, not a hockey-specific billboard sees the light of day in this town.

Most disappointing of all are UNO fans themsevles. Even those who have stuck around the entire ten years find themselves bickering within. Although there is no dobut each hard-core fan loves and supports his/her team...it's evident that cliques and factions have splintered a once great fan base. Of course, many or all of them will deny it. But rest assured, to those in the middle, the difference is night and day, and it's not because the lights at the old Civic sucked.

Let me spell it out for you all. I'm a fan. I'm never going to stop going to games because I enjoy the sport, I enjoy the Qwest Center, and I enjoy following the program. But the scandals, the turmoil and the bickering have made it so difficult to follow this team, that have to remind myself the day before that a hockey weekend is near. Maybe I'm a shitty fan? Maybe I'm part of the problem because I'm not willing to do my part to help the team. Perhaps I should lend a hand and try and fix the problems that plague the program? Perhaps I should just be like the rest of the city, and just buy Creighton basketball season tickets so I can watch a slightly above average mid-major team play Arkansas Pine-Bluff and Illinois State week in and week out.

To be honest, I'm actually sad that I'm paying less attention to UNO hockey than in previous years. In reality, there is no real reason to do so. The team is as talented as it's ever been. The Qwest is just as beautiful as any NHL rink in the land. So why is it getting so hard to care?

When the best you can hope for is 3rd fiddle in a one horse town (Huskerville population 800,000), you better have all your ducks in a row. The University of Nebraska at Omaha and their leaders have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to make me want to keep going to hockey games. This is problem number one. If you don't understand how to keep your primary fans happy...how the hell do you expect to win over casual fans who are just looking for something to do on a Friady night. How come when I call in to see where the status of my season tickets is at, the ticket office makes it seem like they're doing me a favor? WHY in the HELL does a Division One program run their primary money-maker like an NAIA Debate team? WHY is it so hard to reach out to the community?

It's so hard, because they don't know any better. It's hard because for years, they've given no effort. It's hard because corruption rotted the program from the top. It's so hard, because the very people who live and work in the heart of Omaha, can't figure out their own sports community.

I'm a fan of UNO Hockey. I will always be a fan of UNO hockey. But until somebody...somewhere...in some way shape or form makes some changes pretty damn quick, my will to follow with passion the team I've watched since it's birth will die a slow and painful death. It's already on bleeding to death, and the paramedics seem nowhere to be found.

See ya'all at the Qwest this weekend....Plenty of seats still available.

AJ

3 down and 5 to go

Sorry for the delay this morning everybody. I'm sure I'll get a whole bunch of "where are you after Mizzou loses now asshole?" Actually, I'll get to that game and why I was late in a second. But first the quick Sunday morning rundown.

I absolutely HATE breaking down a Husker game I didn't see or hear. You may assume one way or another that either I'm locked into every Husker message board and radio call in show, or I simply avoid them all because I'm locked in my basement with a tin foil hat on and the shades pulled. Truth be told, I do keep up with the Huskers because it's better to know thy enemy. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a subscription to Huskers Illustrated or BigRedReport.com, but I do keep an eye on things to help make this blog better for you, the loyal reader.

Anyway, reading up on the game, it sounded like yet another typical win for the 2006 Huskers. Nothing flashy, just a workmanlike victory on another opponents home turf. (other than a fake FG....which is ironic since anytime a trick play is run against the Huskers, you'd think the rules committee should meet right now to outlaw it. )

I will say this only once, despite the fact that I think Nebraska is still a fraud, they do have good talent on both sides of the ball. Somewhere in the off-season, Bill Callahan finally figured out that all this flashy pass-happy west coast bullshit was a bit overdone for his first few years. Somebody put the bug in his ear that if you just run up the middle 500 times, you can probably do enough to keep the chains moving, and keep time of possession in your favor. Granted, that strategy may not work against top 25 teams, but against moderate-level Big 12 teams, it seems to be working. Nebraska is winning games not because they're outstanding on either side of the ball. They're not winning games because they have outstanding coaches or tons of recruits. They're winning because they're playing to their strength and not turning the ball over. Well, that and they haven't really played anybody but USC, but I digress.

But is order restored? Uhhhh, I'm going to say no. Order Restored is going 4 years and losing one game. Order restored is averaging 40+ points a game. Order restored is pounding Big 12 teams into submission. Nebraska is much improved over last year, but they've got a LONG way to go to being back to where they were.

* Nice to see my CU friends finally get a win. You had to think that a team less than a year removed from the North title would have enough talent to get over that hump. I've seen several comments from people asking, "So how good is Texas Tech now?" Well, let's not forget that Mike Leach coached teams have traditionally been terrible on the road. Anybody who has followed the big 12 can tell you they're a different team away from Lubbock. But with that being said, it looks like their young QB still has some things to pick up. Either way, good win for the Buffs and their fans.

* You had to see the Missouri loss coming at one point or another. With that being said, the Tigers really didn't play all that bad, despite turning the ball over (on a breakaway touchdown no less) and failing on 3rd down in the 2nd half...something they have done very very well over the past three or so games. Texas A&M has some pretty good talent, and Kyle Field is one hellacious place to play. But it really took a near perfect A&M gameplan and performance to even beat Mizzou by 6. I think Nebraska matches up with A&M better than Mizzou did, but thanks to a broken collarbone, Mizzou's road just got a whole lot easier.

The cumulative records of opponents remaining for the Tigers is 10-13. (minus Nebraska at 6-1). The record of teams remaining on Nebraska's schedule is 13-9. (Minus Missouri's 6-1). With that in play, Missouri's road still got a bit easier with Adrian Peterson going down. Either way, they'll be favored in four of their final five games. (KSU, KU, ISU and OU..three of which at home.) Nebraska still has Texas (who looks..ahem..rather good) at home, and still has to go to Oklahoma State and Texas A&M. While Nebraska holds the upper hand with Missouri coming to Lincoln, they still have the much tougher road to get to that point. We shall see how it goes.

Am I upset Missouri lost? A bit, but not too bad. From reading accounts of people who were there, that place was absolutely jacked and the crowd was completely deafening. Did I think they would go 13-0? No way. The Tigers are a much improved team, and are fairly balanced on both sides of the ball. Had Brad Ekwerekwu sliced through the line on that fake field goal, he would have been declared a genius. Since he didn't, he's back to being an idiot. (What would Pinkel's legacy be had Sonny Riccio not hit Victor Seasay in the end zone against Nebraska in 2003 on a fake field goal?).

* So why was my post late? My post was late because I took the family to the Pumpkin patch this morning. Let me explain this to those of you who don't have a local money pit/pumpkin patch in your neighborhood.

- Local farmer needs cash
- Local farmer nails together a couple of boards and calls it a "haunted shack"
- Braindead hicks come to visit farm so they can feel "rural"
- Local farmer charges $20 a head
- Local farmer charges $3 a dixie cup for hot cider.
- Local farmer repeats this for 30 years
- More braindead families come to visit so kids can pay $5 a pound for a pumpkin that costs a buck at Wal-Mart.
- Local farmer buys yacht because braindead families think it's worth 70 bucks for Sunday fun.
- Local farmer retires at age 40 and sells farm to corporation.
The end.

I'm not going to lie to you people. I fucking hate the pumpkin patch. I hate every single ounce of it. I hate the crowds. I hate the yuppie assholes who show up in their army of minivans, only to take pictures of each other in front of a bail of hay. I hate sitting on a 80 year old picnic table, eating 8 Lay's potato chips that costs me 3 bucks less in my company's vending machine. I hate the fact that the Llama petting cage is right next to the snack shack. I hate the fact that 15,000 cars are trying to fit into a small country road.

But most of all...I hate Hayrack rides. Why crawling through a field at 3 mph, while surrounded by allergy-pumping straw and slackjawed soccer moms with screaming 3 year olds is considered fun, I'll never know. At any given moment, I was just waiting...hoping...for the old man in the tractor to turn around and go, "Fuck it..this is too damn slow", and then whip that 90 year old John Deere into 5th gear.

Oh sure kids have fun there and it gets them outside, but at what point do people stop and realize how this one farmer guy has raped the entire community of about 200 bucks per household per year? Of course I'll be going back next year...hopefully they'll add some stripper poles to Grandpa's Haunted Hallow next year. Perhaps then I will actually not want to rip my arm off and beat myself with it while I'm there.

(Photo thanks to the Lincoln Journal Star and Columbia Tribune)

Gimmie your lunch money Josh

Gameday in Manhattan, and Husker fan has made it a memorable week. Normally during KSU-NU week around here, we get 5 full days of complaints about KSU fans, and how they never did anything before 1992, so they therefore aren't even a real school. Husker fan bitches about the travel. Husker fan bitches about being mistreated. Husker fan bitches that Wildcat fan doesn't recognize his greatness. (Who doesn't?)

But this week has been a bit different. This week, Husker fan has taken his Freudian indignation of all things purple out on an 18 year old kid. Enter Josh Freeman, who like many other 18 year old kids, decided at the last second that something just didn't feel right to him. If you have been living under a rock, Freeman went back on a VERBAL commitment from NU, (even though they had Harrison Beck at the time) and re-verbaled to K-State and new coach Ron Prince.

This of course outraged the Hee-Haw people.

Radio call-in shows have been flooded by grown men, calling out an 18-year old kid...not for breaking the law...but for saying, "Sorry guys, I feel more comfortable down here and don't want to mess up this important of a decision." This was responded with the following:

"I hope they cart him off on a stretcher"
"I hope the crowd really lets him have it. (Apparently Husker fan thinks a lot of red will be in the stands."
"I hope as the trainers are taking him off the field, he realizes what a mistake he made"

Here's my quick take on the whole thing: You'd have to be a real dumbass to think 18-22 year old kids really give a shit at all about what some guy they never met did to them. (I'd be more pissed at Beck personally...he left them with no QB..not Freeman). I give props to Husker freak Adam Carriker who told the Omaha wolrd Herald this week (paraphrasing), "It's not that big of a deal, we're going to treat him like any other opposing QB." In other words, "I don't know the guy, I never met the guy, who fucking cares?" As Husker Mike reported in his blog this week, a few KSU fans aren't exactly setting a great example either, however...if Husker fan would worry more about his own problems, rather than bullying some kid who shunned them, they'd probably be better off. So the kid changed his mind. Big fucking deal. Move on.

* Another big test for my Colorado friends as Texas Tech comes to Boulder today. Not quite sure what to make of Tech...especially on the road. The Buffs slowed down Mizzou quite a bit in Columbia, so there is no reason they can't do the same in Boulder. However, Mike Leach is kind of a prick that way, and will probably be going all out to make a statement. Surely Dan Hawkins is going to pull one out at some point won't he?

* Huge test for Mizzou this afternoon visiting Kyle Field. It's pretty funny listening to the media all week talk about Missouri. On one hand, they're 6-0 (which is pretty good for any team), they've dominated pretty much everybody, and they're coming off a 17 point win in one of the most hostile environments in college football. All of these things demand respect, and look pretty good on a resume. However, you and I both know they're still Missouri, and heartbreak is just a kicked ball or Troy State Defensive Lineman away. Statisticly, winning at College Station should be an easier chore than winning in Lubbock, so the possibility is there. Should Mizzou win today, and beat a KSU team at home next week, you would be looking at pandemonium against OU at 8-0 on 10/28. Too far away I know...but something to consider. I wouldn't be shocked either way today.

* Speaking of which, my team at work went on an outing yesterday, and we ended up at a local bar. Inside on the 2 big screens was the 1997 NU-Missouri game. Despite being one of the most gut-wrenching kicks in the nuts of all time, I actually felt kinda good watching it for several reasons. First off, Nebraska back then was flat out scary if for no other reason that it was completely demoralizing watching them rush for 5 yards a play no matter what. Shit, you knew what play was coming..yet still couldn't stop that. The reason I feel good now, is because that offense now only lives in high school, and Missouri actually has talent on the field. My how far we've come since then.

* Finally...I have a complaint. What the fuck happened to Maxim magazine? I remember a year or so ago, you could always count on good reading material...some funny bits and maybe a hot semi-naked celebrity or two. Now that they've changed editors, the magazine has twice as many ads, way fewer pictorials, features lame gags and is about as funny as the Blue Collar Comedy tour. Throw Maxim on the list now of things that were once great that now suck ass, right next to MTV, Amarillo BBQ restaurant in Bellevue and American made cars and trucks. Very very disappointing.

So to make up for that, I give you Scarlett and ridiculously smoking Brooke Burke.

Enjoy the games today everybody and good luck to my Cat friends.

Welcome to the New 'Behind Enemy Lines'

Welcome to the new website.

More changes on the way in the coming weeks. Drop me a line and let me know if you hate it. I can always change it back pretty quick. Special thanks to Justin from Reno for all his help with the design.

AJ

We've got a blog down!

Seems our friends at Blogger had some issues this morning. I think we're back up and running now. Special thanks to all of you who checked us out over the past two days, all 3,500 or so...smashing our old one-day hit record of 1,200.

Hope to have another update before the big games this weekend.

AJ

My Fan is Better than your Fan

I have a couple of things that are really pissing me off today.

First off...listening to the news last night, I quickly realized that Husker fan could possibly be the biggest hypocrite ever to walk the earth. Take the Josh Freeman situation that is coming to a head this week. Thanks to Corey McKeon's little act at the Husker press conference yesterday, we get a real glimpse into what fuels the Hick nation and their lifelong quest to let YOU know how great they are. (* Note - A self-imposed ban on bashing individual players causes me to have no further comment on loudmouth, overrated Husker linebackers)

So why is Corn fan so pissed off this week? Ahhhh yes, an 18 year old kid who wasn't even out on his own yet, decided that he wasn't going to let 2.1 million dorks on Huskerpedia tell him where to go. First of all, he's a fucking kid. He's 18 years old. How slick were you at age 18? (Granted, most of my Husker readers were probably working the combines by themselves at that point, or helping Ma make vittles. But I digress.) Anyhow, how far are you people going to let this hypocritical bullshit continue? I have two words for you....Chris Brooks. Or how about Grant Wistrom?

You see, when Husker fan "takes what they want" from other teams, they have absolutely no problem proclaiming that the young man..who was obviously wise beyond his years...simply saw the light and wanted to go somewhere where he would be worshiped. (no real argument there.) They have done it for years. They've done it recently. They do it all the fucking time. But good fucking gravy if you steal a recruit from them...or even if the kid talks to a new coach and decides he likes him better...there is going to be hell to pay.

So who is responsible for this? Personally, I blame the Huskers Propaganda machine and the explosion of lame-ass, waste-of-time recruiting sites that tell a legion of fans what a High School junior had for breakfast...even though it's a complete crapshoot if he'll ever be good. Husker fan is so outraged that somebody would shun them, that they have even stooped so low as to blame recruits PARENTS. (Omaha World Herald Columnist even questioned whether or not Harrison Beck's mom was fit to be a competent parent when he left) When you steal from others, it's a right. When others steal from you, they're Satan.

Did I miss anything?

Speaking of idiots who piss me off, I was driving home yesterday listening to the Hickster fans call in their disdain for Josh Freeman and his family, when an interesting argument came up. The uber-fucking stupid argument of "who's fans do you hate the most" came up. Naturally, because Hick fans are the greatest in college football (the sign on the door tells you so in case you forgot), there were a bevy of opinions as to why KSU fans are, in their words..."the worst".

First of all, there are no good or bad fans. There are just FANS. The only difference between fans of differing locations is the background they come from. So Nebraska has been good for 35 years or so...what the hell does that have to do with being a "great fan"? Because when you go to games the team wins? Because you all wear the same sweatshirt? Seriously, just because Johnny Rogers ran back a punt in 1971, you are somehow magically better than some poor Kent State bastard who has been following his favorite team for just as long? Is it because you have a big scoreboard? Is it because your mascot wears overalls? Seriously..somebody let me know.

Most disturbing of all, was the word that kept coming out..caller after caller: Tradition. Somehow, if you are OU fan, you have "tradition", and Husker fan will respect you. Meanwhile, if you are Mizzou, KSU or Iowa State fan, you have no tradition, and you are not worthy to share the same stadium when they come to town. First of all dipshits, OU is not your rival. Texas is their rival. OSU is second. Secondly, when K-State and Nebraska hit the field on Saturday, will it really matter what you did on some cold afternoon in November 1974? Should I somehow respect Miami fan for some strange reason because they've been good for quite some time as well? How in the hell can you "measure" fans? Because some people threw snowballs at you in the parking lot? Well guess what Elmer, don't show up in your fucking RV, take 15 fucking spaces, and play that horrible fucking fight song at full blast, and people won't hate you so much.

And while you're at it, stop pretending to "salute" visiting teams when they leave your field; stop bitching about the media hating you. (they don't even remember you for what it's worth), stop running up 500 yards rushing in the mid 90's and then tell us how great of an effort the other team gave.

People hate you for all the bullshit that you've pulled over the past 3 or 4 decades. That doesn't make them bad fans...that makes you too bored or dumb (maybe both) to know any better. Football isn't about making friends and "showing your pride". Football is about territory, bragging rights and respect....and until you people stop acting like you invented the game...you will get none from the teams you piled on for all those years.

With all that...I just lied to you. There is ONE form of fan who is below all others. A form of fan so vile and disgusting, I can hardly keep from gagging as I write this. And that person is:

Out of town bandwagon fan.

Case in point. In 2001 my buddy and I went to the Missouri vs. Nebraska game in Columbia. It was tough to get tickets, so we ended up sitting on the hill in the north end zone. Sitting next to us were six idiots in red corduroy pants, giant red cowboy hats and...I'm not lying...red suspenders. Now, going to a Nebraska game of any sort, I'm resigned to the fact that I'll probably run into one of these jackoffs at one point or another. Me being nice (and drunk) at the time, I decide to make friendly small talk. Since I have lived in Nebraska for 20 years, I asked him where he was from.

"Oh I'm not from Nebraska. I'm originally from New Jersey, and moved to St. Louis. I've always loved the Huskers and this is as close as they get."

I'm surrounded on an island in an ocean of red diarrhea, and this fucking clown has never been within 300 miles of Lincoln? Are you fucking serious? Not to tell you who to cheer for, but who the fuck do you think you are? What the hell gives you the right to just pick and choose who you want to root for? (He explained he loved "rushing teams" as a kid and stuck with them "through thick and thin") Needless to say, red corduroy guy was not my friend during the game, even after Eric Crouch twinkletoed his way 90+ yards for a TD. As he stuck both fingers in my face, declaring what a "great fan" of a "great team" he was...I reminded him once again, that it is scum like this who deserve everything they get. This assclown didn't do anything to sacrifice himself and put his heart on his sleeve other than picking up a red sweatshirt at the Hoboken J.C. Penny store. People like this should be buried to their necks and pelted with rocks for sport.
I hope when this year's version of the Huskers crash and burn, corduroy guy is getting everything he deserves. That is if he doesn't have on a Rutgers sweatshirt by now.


PS - For those of you new visitors, please take note that this week is pretty tame compared to what lies ahead of us the first week of November. Just warning you now.


(Thanks to the Daily Oklahoman for the picture of Josh Freeman)

Willie and the Soybean people

Alright KSU fans....it's you and me this week. Mizzou fans rooting for KSU? No biggie. Normally I would cheer for Al Qaeda if they had a football team lining up against the Huskers. Therefore, I have absolutely no problem throwing up my Lynn Dickey poster, sliding on my Bill Snyder t-shirt, slapping on my EMAW bumper sticker and hopping on the purple bandwagon for one week. As a newbie to the wonderful world of being a fan of a football team who doesn't suck, I hereby throw my support to my purple-clad brothers-in-Husker-Hating arms this week. (Despite our match up the following week.)

There's a reason Husker fans hate coming to Manhattan for games (Besides the fact that you guys kick their ass most years). And that reason is making the howdy-doody people feel uncomfortable. I'm not talking dumping a warm cup of urine on the Monsanto hat wearing, red clad douche in front of you at the game. I'm not talking slashing tires of every combine and red ford pickup in the parking lot. I'm talking about uncomfortable. The ONLY thing that pisses Husker fan off more than you failing to recognize what a great fan he is, is traveling however many miles from Fairbury/McCook/Pawnee/North Bend/Wherever...only to see the Huskers get their ass handed to them. For that reason, I am asking...no...I'm BEGGING you....do whatever you can to make these people's trip to central Kansas a living hell. Scream in their ear. Ask them if Eric Crouch can meet with you in your home to talk about term life coverage. Ask him if Mike Rozier ever found his Orange Bowl ring in that giant fish bowl full of crack. I feel rather slimy for asking that of you guys...but as the race for the north heats up, I feel I need to ask you this favor in light of my own team's tough game in College Station this week. I know your hatred of the corn is strong, so hopefully this won't be a tough sell.

With that being said, it only took 8 days for Husker fan to climb down off the ledge, and take his rightful place as the all-knowing, all-loving, all-around greatest fan on the planet. Listening to 810 WHB in KC yesterday, a Nebraska caller nervously rampaged to afternoon host Kevin Keitzman that not only that the North sucks and Missouri a fraud, but that Texas Tech actually dominated the game for much of the evening. As you can tell, moonshine consumption is still alive and kicking in the corn belt. (Apparently turnovers caused by defensive pressure is no longer a part of football. I'm waiting any day now for Grant Wistrom and Christian Peter to ask that Tom Osborne forfeit all three national titles because some of the games were swayed by the other team turning the ball over.)

As I've said many times before, I'm not about to go rattling off reasons my team should be ranked in the top 10, because although beating a good Tech team (they suck according to most Big 12 fans) on the road at night is a great achievement, they're "still Missouri" and as we all know...God hates Missouri fans. But like a opossum trapped in the corner of an outhouse, Husker fan will suddenly lash out (usually filled with lice, rabies and armed with uneven, jagged teeth) at whomever the threat is to them and their team that week. All summer long, we heard about how USC sucked. After the Troy win we heard about how the rest of the season would be a cakewalk. Now all we hear about is how Missouri is a fraud and for anybody to even THINK otherwise is a complete idiot.

How soon we forget about Adam Barman going Andre Ware on your DB's through the Lincoln sky just 8 days prior. This is just another example of the pathetic and microscopic memory of Joe Husker fan. If I were you people (and since my father and mother aren't related...I'm not), I would start worrying about a few other things first. Like beating a KSU team you haven't come close to since 1996. Or how about a Texas team coming to Lincoln to sodomize your defense the week after that? Or how about a trip to a 1/2 decent team in Stillwater, who has had your number a time or two while you were down there. Not that I would expect Bill Callahan to focus on anything like that...considering he called Mark Mangino "Mangini" after the KU game. The more you see ridiculous comments like this http://65.98.70.3/vbbs/showthread.php?t=31889 , the more obvious it is that Husker fans is petrified of the unthinkable...a loss to Missouri at home to cost them the North. (Especially since the North was already decided and handed over at Big 12 media day in August. And no, I don't troll Husker boards, but I do get links sent to me all the time for reaction.)

When all is said and done, it comes down to the classless arrogance and myopia of Husker fan shining through like a stained glass window on a sunny Sunday morning. Don't get me wrong...fans will be fans...but at what point through all the "Texas Tech sucks and ISU is a great program" does somebody mention that Adam fucking Barmann threw for FOUR HUNDRED YARDS IN LINCOLN. Are you people fucking blind?

However, the great thing about football is that not only do we get a week in between games to expose ignorant masses but we also get to watch things get settled on the field. This is what kills me about Husker fans. Uneventful wins over bad teams on the road become legendary. Allowing 400 yards to KU's second string QB means they're suddenly a Big 12 power. Ohio, Georgia, Texas Tech and Louisville suck, yet Troy, Iowa State and La Tech are up-and-coming powers. What's that? Missouri's opponents are something like 12-24? Even WITH USC at 5-0, Nebraska's foes are a robust 15-17. And that is WITH USC..whom you were too scared to even try and win. (not that you could) Nicholls State lost to South Dakota State. La Tech lost to Clemson 51-0. Troy lost to UAB 21-3. (who some fucking idiot stated on that thread is better than anybody Missouri has played.) Hell, even mighty USC struggled with Pac-10 doormat Washington and needed bad clock management and a fake FG to win. Spin is everything. Perspective is nothing.

In closing, I hope you red clad motherfuckers have your team get the living shit stomped out of them this weekend. I hope your visit rivals a trip to the urologist and your car breaks down on the trip home. I hope your popcorn has a strange sticky white substance on it, I hope somebody pissed in your coke and the Bob Evans pancake platter you order before the game is covered in pubes. I hope your dog pisses on your lucky yellow foam corn hat. I hope your girlfriend suddenly comes up with a case of genital warts she picked up "from the toilet seat". I hope your next visit to the doctor contains the words "Hemeroid surgery". I hope Callahan signs a lifetime contract. I hope Hee Haw gets cancelled. You get my drift.

Enjoy Husker week my Wildcat friends.

EMALL or EMAT or however that goes.

One step closer to Armageddon

As I've stated on more than one occasion, I have not, and will not use this blog space as my own personal cheerleading section toward my favorite college football team. For one, there are five million fan sites out there, many of which are much more visually and factually pleasing than this one. In other words, I'm not going to start pounding my chest, because my team did something good. And second, I'm not going to hop on my soapbox, because many years as a Missouri fan has taught me NEVER to expect anything good. Although the team is playing as well as any Mizzou squad in my lifetime, I will not...and should not expect anything more...quite simply because I've been down this road before.

Actually....no I haven't.

Somehow...someway, I'm being forced to talk about Missouri football, because it is abundantly clear that the mighty Mizzou Tigers...the team which once lost to Texas A&M 77-0; the same team who lost to Kansas State 66-0 on the final day of the 1999 season, as Mrs. Larry Smith screamed down the team for being a bunch of quitters...are the only real obstacle standing in the way of Husker fan. That's right....it appears the one thing standing between you and the expected greatness of your team Husker fans....is me and my team.

Before we go into what could happen, let's chat about the mighty Hicks this weekend. I'm not stupid enough to go blabbing on and on about how Iowa State sucks...even if it is true. ISU at least put out some effort in losses to not-great-but-very-good Texas and Iowa teams...both on the road. However, what I saw out of the Clones on Saturday was...shall we say..puzzling. Sure ISU got fistfucked out of a touchdown that was called incomplete...and sure any good win on the road in the Big 12 is a good win. Is it just me, or did ISU look ridiculously small and uncoordinated? Granted, Barney Cotton will never be confused for Al Saunders, but I would have at least expected things like spiral passes and running backs who didn't look like they were 15 years old.

I will give Clownahan and company credit...their team does have athletes. It was very obvious on the field that ISU defensive front four was dwarfed by the steroidal...ahhhhh...I mean, beefy Husker linemen. (Joking...kinda) That's also not to say however that any sort of celebration should be had for a win over a team that needed a missed field goal to beat Northern Iowa.

So where do we go from here?

The Hicks travel to Manhattan, where they haven't won in what seems four or five decades. Just when the Wildcats look like they're at rock bottom against Baylor, they come back and beat a 1/2 decent OSU team. Missouri meanwhile takes on Texas Light in College Station. Needless to say Aggieland is no romp in the park for any visiting team...but when you just get done beating Tech in the snakepit of Lubbock, at night, by 17 points..needless to say you should have some confidence. A&M will try to run the ball into the teeth of the Mizzou defense. Again, the Tigers will be a big day from the front four, and constant pressure on the quarterback. If you would have told me on August 30th that the Tigers would be playing for 7-0 in College Station, I'd tell you you were high.

First things first. Both Nebraska and Missouri have tough road contests this week (don't laugh Husker fans..you haven't beaten K-State in Manhattan since most of your players in elementary school. ) and then major home tests against south powers later in the month. What will happen if the game in Lincoln on November fourth is four all the marbles? I guess we'll have to wait and find out, but I can promise you it'll be entertaining.

***
I'd be selling myself short if I didn't mention the passing of Kansas City Legend Buck O'Neil this week. Growing up in KC, I'd be lying if I said he was a household name throughout his years as a scout and coach. But what that man did for baseball in the inner-city, the Negro League Hall of Fame and baseball fans everywhere was nothing short of incredible. We should all hope and pray that we touch as many people in our lives, and spend our days doing what we loved.

Sometimes it seems like the Kansas City media overkills the Buck O'Neil story...but a little research into the man's life will tell you why. Although it's widely known that he is the last person to call for this...it is an absolute crime he was not put into the hall of fame during his lifetime.

Bud Selig, you ignorant douche bag...do the right thing and put the man in the hall now. Not next summer. Not in five years. Right, the fuck now.

The history of baseball seems a little harder to read today. Buck O'Neil will be missed by Kansas Citians and all baseball fans. R.I.P. Buck...you earned the rest.