August 5, 2007

Random Weekend Thoughts

I think the worst part about this time of year is the fact that a 7 month off-season has basically sapped every single decent story and angle from the general perception of all fans. I mean, how many times can we break down JC Keller being the greatest QB never to win more than 5 games in his career? And do we really need to talk again about how great Marlon Lucky is, despite the fact that he’s never been a feature back, he’s hardly ever carried the ball enough to carry the team? (and somehow completely ignoring that a “mystery ailment” put him on his death bed last spring)

Yes, this part of the year becomes difficult for me, because there’s only so many ways I can shoot your crappy predictions out of the sky. There’s only so many ways I can spin your arguments around to which you have no answer. I can do it all day, every day for the next 100 years. I can do it in my sleep. I can do it upside down. I can do it while watching the Cubs fall on their face yet again for the 100th or so year in a row.

So before we break down this wacky obsession with loving yourself any further, before I unleash yet another avalanche of facts that disprove every single one of your idiotic prophecies for the coming year, let’s take a look at some other things that need to be discussed.

* Can somebody tell me when the election was held that named Nebraska the spokesmen of the Big 12 North? Everywhere I turn, news reports cite the growing rift between “Texas and Nebraska” as reasons why the hillbilly people might bolt for the Big 10. Nebraska hasn’t won a Big 12 title in 7 years…so they get to win the election by default because their fans have absolutely nothing else better to do? Is it Colorado’s fault that their fans can ski or go to Rockies games or get outside? Is it Missouri or Kansas fans’ fault that they have metro areas nearby with giant amusement parks and major league teams? Hell, at least Ames has some nice casinos nearby.

So somehow, because one quarter of America’s farm profits go to buying Tommie Frazier jerseys, I have to put up with Steve-O and Old Man Pearlman representing me in the conference? Ummmm, I think I may have an issue with that. If the Huskers leave for the Big 10 (which they won’t), this webspace and the anti-Husker movement in general will explode. If you think Colorado, Mizzou and K-State fans hate you now…wait til arrogant masses like Ohio State and Michigan fans get ahold of you. Besides, what else would be better than watching mighty Thug university run from a conference because they can’t match tradition with Texas and Oklahoma. Classic.

* The Omaha World Herald was brilliant in taking Tom Shatel’s columns off-line so that only print-subscribers could read him. Apparently critics such as myself were a bit too rough on Tom, as his constant waffling and blatant homerism made less and less sense each year. But to the rest of you, you can TRUST ME…dude is still out of control.

For instance, take this morning’s editorial on how the Lincoln Police Department is gearing up for the season, and how they have to address Husker athletes because people are out to get them. I’m sure it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out…but what a complete waste of time this is. It’s not like anything is going to happen to them, even if they do get taken in for a few hours. I mean hell, if you can crack a girl in the face and get a DUI all in 3 weeks, while only receiving a 60 minute “punishment” against a WAC team at home…wouldn’t it be safe to say the policies are a bit lax in the first place?

But for Tom to raise the question of whether or not athletes actually get “stiffer treatment” than average students, simply fuels Joe-Bob Husker fan’s notion that the world is out to get him. This was a running joke for a long time, but it’s becoming quite obvious that people actually believe that crap. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it 1000 more times: YOU try being the cop who arrests, or the lawyer who tries and convict a star Husker player of anything in that town. I think 2 years of writing this blog has mentioned a time or two that people here will stop at NOTHING to protect their own opinions of themselves..and that includes delusions and paranoia to make it happen.

Another crack piece of investigative journalism Tom. Keep it up. Next thing you guys will worry about is whether or not some LA Times columnist is saying mean things about you and your beloved way of life. Nah, that would be silly.

* Finally..watching Barry Bonds last night…I have a question. How come nobody ever drills that guy for standing at the plate for 5 seconds to watch a home run? If that was anybody else, wouldn’t they get a laser beam between the shoulder blades the next time up? How does that guy get away with that?

Hate month rolls on.

24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"avalanche of facts"

Spit coffee out my nose at that one.

Dude, your blog hasn't had a "fact" in it (posted by you anyways) since the day you admitted Booger Daniels actually picked his nose and ate its contents.

Funny stuff.

Gotta go. Headed to the beach. It's a great day to be a Husker fan (in California).

JP

1:43 PM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

I remember back before 2003 when nebraskans spoke with one voice, and a mostly sane one at that. However, since 2003 when the great cannibalization occurred, your view of husker fans is not entirely true.

There are many of us out there , coaches, players, and a large fan base from what we read in the papers and see in the blogs-- who do not follow blindly. Many of us really are capable of discussing football intelligently and realisticly.

For instance, I have been a fan of Nebraska for almost 50 years, and I can tell you a few things. I acknowledge the following:

Callahan is the losingest Nebraska coach in my lifetime.

Callahan teams have finished UNRANKED in 2 out of 3 years.

We were promised by Steve Pederson to not settle for mediocrity and we would not forfeit the big 12 to Texas or Oklahoma.

We fired a life long Husker as our coach when his team won 10 games his last season.

Bill Callahan has never won 10 games in a season. Bill

Callahan averages 5 losses a year.

The nebraska cornhuskers now, are only fearsome to nebraskans, no one else.

The corporate fortune 500 life has taken over in Lincoln.

These are the Facts that we as Huskers now face. No bullshit.

There are still Huskers out there who fit your description to the T. You just need to remember to not stereotype all of us. Some of us are not stupid.

9:40 PM  
Blogger TB said...

Gotta agree on Bonds. If I was pitching, he'd get one in the ribs.

10:20 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Every time I get ready to verbally blast JP about the whole "booger" thing...I'm reminded just how stupid and lame that whole angle is.

Therefore, I always stop in mid sentence.

I say again...didn't look to me like he did anything but bite his fingernail (which is what Mike Rucker said at Media day)...but the fact that you douchebags keep going back to it again and again makes me laugh.

I don't pay to watch the kid babysit my kids. Win football games. I could give a shit less what else he does. To me that's far less embarassing than if he cracked a girl in the face and then got suspended for one game.

8:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more on Bonds. It would have been nothing short of awesome for that kid who gave up that homerun to jaw at him as he ran the bases, then run one up in his grill in his next AB. If this happens with/after homerun 756, I'll probably have a new favorite pitcher because you KNOW Bonds is going to sit and admire his next bomb.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bam.. And the Fraud pipes in with the same tired post he's typed 18 times before.

Profound.

JP

11:11 AM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

Jp is one of the idiots this huskerh8ter blog was intended for. It is fitting that he shows up here regularly. He just can't quit you AJ.

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God your an idiot. I'll bet you use your website to get closer to your mom. You make me laugh so much with all your jealous crap.

You'll always be second best of us.

GBR

4:23 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

That last comment is why some of you guys will always be my greatest weapon in the fight against all things Husker.

That could be the dumbest thing I've ever read in the comments section, and that's tough to do.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fraud,
You don't want to get into a pissing match with me. I will make you my bitch.
JP

5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whata'ya'know.. It happens everywhere.

Click here hypocrites

JP

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Losses Per Year for the Last Four Husker Coaches

Devaney= 1.91

Osborne= 2.02

Solich= 3.17

Callahan= 5.00

*Ties count as one-half win, one-half loss

Notice a trend?

Fun Husker Stat of the Day

In his three years as head coach, Bill Callahan has lost 15 games. In 25 years as head coach, Tom Osborne lost 49 games and had three ties. That means that Callahan already has 30% as many losses as Osborne while only coaching the Huskers 12% as long. Now that's what I call Restoring the Order!

7:23 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I love it when JP has to stand in line an extra long time at Baja Fresh. He comes back to his PC all cranky.

Say hi to Tom and Kate for me will ya Doc Hollywood?

8:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK fuck the record shit coach C took a program that was was option based and no players that could or would play in the WCO.

It takes a few years to get the type of players to change a program from 1 type of offence to 1 that is 180 degrees in the other direction.

I like the option game but I am also looking forword to seeing the Huskers make a statement this year with the new offence, if not this year it will be in 08.

as always.
You can eat a mile of my corn ridden shit and kiss my husker ass

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Captain Anonymous is a statistician now.
Impressive.
So, come right out and say it. You think a Solich-recruited and Solich-led Nebraska team would be in a better position to compete this year?
Has Callahan, in three years, had a team who didn't improve its record?
Did Solich ever have a team who lost more the following year than it did the previous year?
Enlighten us.
Solich should have had another chance because it takes six years to rebuild, but it should only take Callahan one?
And what was Solich rebuilding exactly? More like tearing down and rebuilding, huh?
Of course, none of this means shit, but it's more relevant than your stoopid fucking statistical outlay?
You an actuarial scientist?
More likely an insurance huckster with a crappy track record of sales. Coffee is for closers, douchebag.
You can't beat me.
JP

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And let me stop you before you say 9-5 in 2006 wasn't improvement over 8-4 in 2005. Look at the quality of the opponents NU lost to.
Solich LOST 9 out of 16 in his incredible stretch just a few years after Nebraska won a National Championship.
JP
p.s Fucking A. Turn the page or go root for someone else.

9:46 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Why don't you all agree that your team is going to suck gigantic ass this year and finish 4-8? That's the conclusion I've come to.

Can't we all just get along?

11:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my, what have we here?

http://journalstar.com/articles/2007/08/06/huskerextra/football/doc46b7a7ca90143259342300.txt

I wonder if Callahan will follow the new precedent Mack Brown set yesterday of suspending a player for 3 games if they get a DUI. I was just waiting for another Big 12 school player to get a DUI to see if the three game thing will become a new standard; this is quite rich to see it happen to Mr. Raiders. Remember, the entire team would drive home sloshed drunk after every game in Oak-Town, and then gang-rape someone while videotaping it.

Somehow, I doubt if he gives this kid more than a little slap on the pee-pee, sorta like he did with Mo. He really showed him the meaning of "punishment" didn't he?

Also, I have a feeling that the cops were oh so very rough with that poor poor student athlete after he was pulled over, because, like your favorite reporter said, those mean cops really target the upstanding young representatives of Nebraska's sports teams.

AH

1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Solich had only one season that was worse than Callahan's best season. Callahan has not had a team that finished with a better record than Solich had the year he got fired. Those are facts that cannot be disputed.

Face it, this could be Callahan's last best shot. Lots of seniors are starting, but the Huskers are going to lose four or five games because of the schedule. Things don't look much better in 2008 with all those seniors gone and road trips to Oklahoma and Texas Tech. Since Callahan will find a way to lose a game or two he shouldn't, I see average 5-3 or worse seasons coming up.

How exactly is that worse than Solich? At least with the option you had something that was unique. Now there's nothing that makes Nebraska different from any other team. And for those who say good QBs wouldn't come to Nebraska if they still ran the option, are you telling me Pat White wouldn't look good in the Husker backfield?

1:33 AM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

Time for mom to wash the boys mouth out wtih soap..

Seriously, what kind of 'satisfied' husker fan, visits an anti husker site, and trash talks other nebraskans he doesn't even know?

Turn the page? to what? 5 losses a year? JP every time you open your mouth you prove you are an idiot. Keep up the good work.

As for Solich, his last team went for 10 wins. Bill took the same program and immediately went for 5. Good job Bill. Worst loss in NU history. Texas Tech and 70 points against us. Good job Bill.

Time and time again Bill has proved Al Davis a genius for firing him. Forget blunder after blunder, just look at the way Bill C gave away the Auburn game last year!! Good job Bill!!

Turn the page , JP you idiot!?! Your dumber than a bag of hammers and I can't wait to hear you prove it again.

Oh yeah, good job Bill!!!

8:20 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

My bad. I spent the day among the portly future youth of our country at Adventureland in Des Moines. (more on that tomorrow).

Sounds like a lot went on while I was out.

Update tomorrow, I swear.

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Big Red Fraud just called Al Davis a "genius" and I'm the idiot.

OK. I get it now.

And you're honestly comparing Solich's 10 win season to Callahan's the next year????????

While you're at it compare Solich's 7 losses and 9 losses in 16 ball games played to his 10 wins. See what that gets you.

You old fucks who wish NU was still running the option need to wake up, smell the coffee, and yes turn the page, because those days are over and your wife ain't skinny anymore. Get over it.

And if you think this is Callahan's last best shot (whoever the fuck you are), then you're just plain nuts. Nebraska is a year or two away from being as good as they can be. The cupboards are being stocked, depth is accumulating, and by the time Zach Lee is a senior.. Look out bitches.

JP

11:43 AM  
Anonymous bigredfred said...

I said Bill Callahan made Al Davis LOOK like a genius , big difference there genius!! Give up JP, there are only so many ways you can defend the worst coach in the last 50 years of Husker football. Oh and thanks for proving my point, you open your mouth, you are even dumber than the time before. You're dumber than a bag of hammers!!

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm no lawyer, but here's your exact quote:

"Time and time again Bill has proved Al Davis a genius for firing him."

I don't see the word "LOOK" in there Fraudy 'ol boy.

Let's just agree to disagree. I'm sick of arguing with you, quite frankly. You'll never get it.

JP

6:47 PM  

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