Random Weekend Thoughts

I think the worst part about this time of year is the fact that a 7 month off-season has basically sapped every single decent story and angle from the general perception of all fans. I mean, how many times can we break down JC Keller being the greatest QB never to win more than 5 games in his career? And do we really need to talk again about how great Marlon Lucky is, despite the fact that he’s never been a feature back, he’s hardly ever carried the ball enough to carry the team? (and somehow completely ignoring that a “mystery ailment” put him on his death bed last spring)

Yes, this part of the year becomes difficult for me, because there’s only so many ways I can shoot your crappy predictions out of the sky. There’s only so many ways I can spin your arguments around to which you have no answer. I can do it all day, every day for the next 100 years. I can do it in my sleep. I can do it upside down. I can do it while watching the Cubs fall on their face yet again for the 100th or so year in a row.

So before we break down this wacky obsession with loving yourself any further, before I unleash yet another avalanche of facts that disprove every single one of your idiotic prophecies for the coming year, let’s take a look at some other things that need to be discussed.

* Can somebody tell me when the election was held that named Nebraska the spokesmen of the Big 12 North? Everywhere I turn, news reports cite the growing rift between “Texas and Nebraska” as reasons why the hillbilly people might bolt for the Big 10. Nebraska hasn’t won a Big 12 title in 7 years…so they get to win the election by default because their fans have absolutely nothing else better to do? Is it Colorado’s fault that their fans can ski or go to Rockies games or get outside? Is it Missouri or Kansas fans’ fault that they have metro areas nearby with giant amusement parks and major league teams? Hell, at least Ames has some nice casinos nearby.

So somehow, because one quarter of America’s farm profits go to buying Tommie Frazier jerseys, I have to put up with Steve-O and Old Man Pearlman representing me in the conference? Ummmm, I think I may have an issue with that. If the Huskers leave for the Big 10 (which they won’t), this webspace and the anti-Husker movement in general will explode. If you think Colorado, Mizzou and K-State fans hate you now…wait til arrogant masses like Ohio State and Michigan fans get ahold of you. Besides, what else would be better than watching mighty Thug university run from a conference because they can’t match tradition with Texas and Oklahoma. Classic.

* The Omaha World Herald was brilliant in taking Tom Shatel’s columns off-line so that only print-subscribers could read him. Apparently critics such as myself were a bit too rough on Tom, as his constant waffling and blatant homerism made less and less sense each year. But to the rest of you, you can TRUST ME…dude is still out of control.

For instance, take this morning’s editorial on how the Lincoln Police Department is gearing up for the season, and how they have to address Husker athletes because people are out to get them. I’m sure it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out…but what a complete waste of time this is. It’s not like anything is going to happen to them, even if they do get taken in for a few hours. I mean hell, if you can crack a girl in the face and get a DUI all in 3 weeks, while only receiving a 60 minute “punishment” against a WAC team at home…wouldn’t it be safe to say the policies are a bit lax in the first place?

But for Tom to raise the question of whether or not athletes actually get “stiffer treatment” than average students, simply fuels Joe-Bob Husker fan’s notion that the world is out to get him. This was a running joke for a long time, but it’s becoming quite obvious that people actually believe that crap. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it 1000 more times: YOU try being the cop who arrests, or the lawyer who tries and convict a star Husker player of anything in that town. I think 2 years of writing this blog has mentioned a time or two that people here will stop at NOTHING to protect their own opinions of themselves..and that includes delusions and paranoia to make it happen.

Another crack piece of investigative journalism Tom. Keep it up. Next thing you guys will worry about is whether or not some LA Times columnist is saying mean things about you and your beloved way of life. Nah, that would be silly.

* Finally..watching Barry Bonds last night…I have a question. How come nobody ever drills that guy for standing at the plate for 5 seconds to watch a home run? If that was anybody else, wouldn’t they get a laser beam between the shoulder blades the next time up? How does that guy get away with that?

Hate month rolls on.