October 22, 2007

Big Red is Dead - Let Freedom Ring

I’m so thankful for my readers. Here I am, hanging by a thread just to keep this blog going, and many of you come through with multiple suggestions how to fight on without a true enemy. I’m glad many of you understand how difficult it is becoming to bash a program that is so low, so beyond repair that Kansas fans mock them.

But like a prize fighter grabbing the rope at the count of eight, I think I can muster up enough strength to respond. Perhaps not with hate…but with another emotion. As many of you have stated, I haven’t NEARLY gloated enough on this blog in regard to my ability to call this train wreck with near Nostradamus precision.

Perhaps this has been because of the shock of actually seeing you crash and burn faster than even I thought. (I said 6-6, and it appears 4-8 is far more likely.) Regardless, the shock is starting to wear off and the snickering mockery can now begin. Perhaps I should have drawn this card earlier? Perhaps I should have kicked sand in your face as your grab for your bleeding nose a while ago? Perhaps I could laugh a bit harder at your ability to go from cocky and arrogant, to panicked and distraught in a matter of not months..but weeks.

Over the past few years, I’ve had my share of typical Husker fan responses in my comments section. Over the past couple of days, I’ve revisited some of these idiotic remarks, and thought perhaps it’s time to revisit some of them together, and giggle at their ridiculousness.


“Pinkel is history if he can’t recruit the best players in his home state. Mizzery may eek out a decent year this year, but the writing is in the wall unless they can bring in a recruiting oriented head coach.” – Anonymous, July-07

“While it’s kinda funny to watch you wait for the demise of the Husker football program, it’s kinda sad too. I hope you can find help soon, because it’s not going to end anytime soon.” - JP (Currently MIA), July - 07

“Dream on idiot. Nebraska is on it’s way back to the top tier of college football teams on the field and is still (and always will be) a top tier “name” program. Just accept it and you’ll sleep better.” Anonymous, July - 07

“Purify is a legit big play threat, but he is far from the only contributing receiver. NU has a LOT of depth here..something like 6-7 players that had SIGNIFICANT reps. (in 2006). I for one am not worried about this area at all.” Anonymous July -07

“Your Tiggers have serious issues on defense. Good luck there, you’re going to need it.” Anonymous July – 07

“Hey aj (ass jockey): Can you say 52-10? (Edit re: Nevada) You can now blow me” Anonymous August - 07

“Major Culbert and Ricky Thernase are major upgrades from Shanle and GREEN. The D doesn’t lose nearly what you think it does.” Anonymous - Nov 06

“You think Nebraska sucks. You ain't very smart now is ya boy.” - Norfolk Native, Nov - 06

And it goes on and on and on and on. (I don’t even have room for all the e-mails from friends and co-workers…let alone blogs and message boards). The CONSTANT bitching and moaning, the chest thumping, ego thrusting myopia that could fuel a small New England town if hooked up to a generator is long since gone. At any point during those weeks and months of insane comments, factless lies and regurgitated propaganda did you ever think you wouldn't be called out for being completely and 100% wrong? How come some of my most consistent, delusional and hateful readers have all disappeared into the night like a pack of ghosts?

To my own dismay, I have been extremely generous to Nebraska fans during the past few weeks, as I watch the complete and total nuclear meltdown taking place down the road. But then again, wasn’t it me who said Callahan couldn’t motivate? Wasn’t it me who said you can’t lose your best quarterback and running back and just expect yards to start piling up? Wasn’t it me who said your DB’s sucked ass last year, and when shitty players come back the next year..they’re usually still shitty? Wasn’t it me who told you a gold rival star never won a game?

Did you think I would simply let this slide? Did you think I would forget?

Let this be a lesson to every single one of you combine driving rednecks who decides to post some incoherent rant or comment that goes on and on about stuff you obviously don’t know ANYTHING about. Again, I realize it’s a bit difficult to see the big picture when you’re drowning in a sea of myopia…but Good Lord people, Keller was 4-4 lifetime…what the hell did you think was going to happen? You never even came close to winning a game during Callahan’s tenure when you were behind. Not one. Didn’t that cause a bit of alarm in your head? You lost your entire front four…your linebackers were pitifully overrated, and to brag about your wide receivers? How in the HELL would a NEBRASKA fan of all teams know what the hell a good receiver is?

The great thing about all of this is that even when I am pretty much done blasting you…my point since being made…fans of Missouri, K-State and Colorado are begging for me to pile on. (Who knew some of them hated you more than I do?) Don’t get me wrong…you deserve it now..and you’ll deserve it again when you get a new coach, who I predict will suddenly be THE guy to take you back to glory. Why even try to fight it anymore? You’ve got absolutely nothing. Well, at least you got your All-American pictures back on your wall at the Stadium. I guess that’s all that really matters anyway huh?

Couple of other Big 12 Tidbits:

* For the love of all things high and holy, STOP with the slobbery love-fest with Kansas. They have TWO ½ decent wins…by a combined 11 points. (One of which was played within the borders of their own state.) K-State is scrappy, but extremely inconsistent. Josh Freeman can throw for 400 yards or 40 yards on a given night. Colorado is obviously improved, but they could be one of the slowest teams I’ve seen in a while. Give Hawkins some time…but they’re not there yet.

Point is, the Lamehawks are the product of the perfect storm of shitty scheduling. Avoiding Tech, Texas and Oklahoma while scheduling 4 cupcakes at home is bad for the Big 12 and bad for college football. The good thing is, no matter what they do, it’s looking more and more like the showdown at Arrowhead vs. Missouri is going to decide the North.

I shall save my commentary further on that game til we get closer, but rest assured it involves tear gas, urine bombs and riot gear.

* Somebody asked me the other day, “Aside from the Huskers, who else do you hate?”. Obviously, hating Kansas is in my blood, and will always remain. However, those two teams not withstanding, who is tops on my hate list at the moment ...the Boston Red Sox, and most of all...their fans.

The Yankees are easy to hate, because they are arrogant, brash and have more history than any team on earth. The Red Sox fans however, I can paint with one large brush: Whiney douche-bag frat-boy looking dorks, chugging a Sam Adams cherry wheat, ragged hat and faded sweatshirt, screaming and ranting about being an underdog, while their GM spends the gross domestic product of Spain on talent.

If you’re going to be annoying and arrogant pricks, at least have the common courtesy to separate from the rest of us. You are not downtrodden. The Patriots most likely will never lose another game. The Celtics had a dynasty for years. And now, the Red Sox can spend whatever they want, on whoever they want..and unlike the Yankees..have a GM that actually knows what the hell he’s doing.

I have never rooted for a Denver-based team in my life, but I hope the Rockies lay the frickin wood to those whiney, Afflack loving, chowder slurping, Kennedy voting, chalkboard accent having, shitty stadium dwelling, crappy beer producing, Manny worshiping assholes.

Go Rocks Go


Blogger Christopher said...

AJ, you've made clear many times that your real disdain is not for Husker football but for its fans. It is in that spirit, and in light of your desire to resuscitate posts past, I present this jewel from 18 October of this year on the eve of the Texas A&M game:

This Saturday, a team with ugly white helmets is going to play in front of 85,000 of their own fans…many of them hoping and begging for a poor performance. Out of the crowd, thousands will be on hand, simply to display their hatred toward their head coach. Players who were once cheered and adored for their “gutty outspokenness” like Corey McKeon, will be openly mocked..perhaps even booed. JC Keller will stand under center, in front of the entire state…a vast majority of them looking forward to the day where he no longer runs their team...

As I noted on the post from which this is drawn, if your evidence is a prediction that turns out false, don't you kind of lose your case? No one booed. Very few people left. The message board goons didn't blast players. I don't know if we're the best fans in football or not, but we're certainly not as childish as you often portray us to be.

(For the record, do you hate all Husker sports teams or just football? Do you hate volleyball fans, too?)

9:05 PM  
Blogger Nick Sloan said...

Couldn't agree more about the Red Sox. Their fans are the same people who griped about the Yankees having a $200 million payroll, although they had something like a $150 million payroll. Evil Empire my ass.

It's one thing to be a D-Ray, Royal or Pirate fan, but when a team that paid $100 million for Dice-Nay (including $50 million for negotiation rights alone), it's hard to exactly feel sorry for you.

10:03 PM  
Blogger Big Head said...

Husker coaching rumor mill:

-There was a plane in Baton Rouge to pick up Bo Pelini Saturday.

-Harvey Perlman gave Houston Nutt a handy for him to take the job.

-Mark Mangino will lose 200lbs on the South Beach diet to take the job.

-Pete Carroll loves Nebraska winters.

-Bill Belichick doesn't want any more Super Bowls, but wants to Restore the Order.

-Bob Devaney isn't dead, but has been hiding in Nebraska City waiting for the chance to come back.

All of these have been confirmed by Huskerpedia.

7:51 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Jeez Chris..what the hell do you expect? Did you see the name on the front door? But trust me..I'm well aware that if I slip up on one fact..one tiny detail...I will get called for it. Trust me..happens all the time.

And yes, I hate all Husker sports...except Volleyball, where I just make fun of the 85 year old season ticket holders.

7:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This one is too good to let it languish on yesterday's blog comments. It nails the biggest idiot Husker fans of all -- the femtards of BigRedBoard.com!

They decided to put an inspirational ad in the Daily Nebraskan last week. Here's a picture of the 1st draft of the ad:


8:53 AM  
Blogger Mac G said...

We finally agree on our hatred, the Masshole Chowderheads. Their fans SUCK. GO Rockies.

AJ, I think it is time to stop your blog. Seriously, it is all just piling on now. You were right, Crazy Husker Nation was wrong.

Beating a worthless football program into the ground just seems vindictive and fruitless.

I started a Fire Steve Pederson Blog, he was canned and I ended it. It has served its purpose.

This is coming from a Hukser fan, who agrees with most of what you are saying about the egos of most fans.

This program is going to worse before it gets any better.

Its your blog and you can keep chipping/gloating away at broken down Husker fan but at some point, this has to lose its luster for you.

BTW, I think KU is legit and 2 road Ws in the Big 12 is harder than you think. Their schedule still blows.

11:09 AM  
Anonymous deron said...

Dont shut it down!

How many years have we had to listen to Husker fan and explain to us how great they are and want to fight because we refuse to recognize their greatness.

For my lifetime it was at least 25 years. So Husker fan has 24 more years of piling on from me.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did Slashahan really say this at his press conference today?

"...we need to watch out for Limas Sweed this weekend."

Um, he was injured 3 weeks ago and is done for the year.


3:44 PM  
Blogger bornred said...

AJ is providing an entertainment service so there's no way he can (or would) shut this thing down... unless he inks some sweet book deal...

Trust me, we'll be providing non-stop content for at least the next several years because we'll still pour our heart and souls into the Huskers, still scour the web for anything we can read about them (including AJ), still call in to talk about them, still be way too optimistic about them and set unrealistic expectations for them, and, of course, still fork out the $$ to see them play.

Now, deron, either admit we are great or we're throwin' down!


PS. I hate the Sox, and I'm not a Rockies fan (Giants...I know, this just isn't my year. They are MLB's version of the Huskers right now) but is anyone else worried about the Rockies losing momentum? Jesus, it's been about 2 months since they played in the NLCS, hasn't it?
It's too bad, they were red hot and hope they can find a way to keep that ball rolling, even if some of their fans are Buffs...

3:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Here's the link on the Schnellahan comment about Limas Sweed.


3:45 PM  
Blogger Big Head said...

Clownahan talked about Sweed in the coaches show too. Dumbass.

8:11 PM  
Anonymous bhg said...


AJ is self-declared credible (see THUGS=HAPPY FANS, a universal law).

AJ most recently jumped on me about using the word "class" instead of "best", so the courtesy he asks for, he is less than willing to extend himself (I think that might be a Norm Stewart thing). Logic is not a value that is held in high regard at this site.


Futile attepmt at best to riducle me, to summarize, it was not good, at best weak. It would take to long to explain, humor and sarcasm to you, and besides you wouldn't get it in the first place. For future reference, my first car was a 71' Chevy Caprice four barrel POK.

If you would have told the story about the rain storm, and the windshield wipers on prom night, my dates reaction, and how the night ended, now that would have been more appropriate.

Oh, well live and learn, well maybe not learn in your case.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Big Head said...

For fucksake BHG, I'm tired of reading every one of your posts because they all begin with THUGS=HAPPY FANS. AJ's point is true...

Maurice Purify
Sam Keller
Lawrence Phillips
Rufus Alexander
Entire '07 Longhorn team
Huskers from the 90's

I usually agree with you ripping JP's ass because he never has a point, but you're missing the point on the THUGS=HAPPY FANS. To sum it up, the Husker hey-day was in the 90's, when half the team was put into the pokey at one time or another. That's when "The Classiest Fans" had the greatest time, and became total dickheads.

If you don't understand the theory, you're in total denial.

8:42 AM  
Blogger bornred said...


I meant '71 Caprice, did I say '74 Pinto?

C'mon, you need to look at the positives.

a) I gave you the benefit of the doubt that you could actually coax a human female into your car

b) I didn't mention needing to use a roofy to do it

c) 25 seconds was generous...

d) It didn't end with you, your dog, a basement pit, and the line 'It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again'

Still think I don't understand sarcasm and humor?


PS. I think we'd all like to hear the rainy prom story.

PPS. My first car was a piece of shit 3 speed, '68 3/4 ton Chevy truck with holes in the bed... Give me the Caprice anyday.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

big head,

If AJ's theory is true, why not hear it all the time? I would think you would want it shouted from the mountain tops. With that type of knowledge and information, I would think that AJ would be very valuable to the NCAA and tracking down offenders (maybe watching Norm Stewart is how AJ first became familiar with the rock solid logic driven theory).

Belly up to the bar, start two fisting the kool-aid and join the conspiracy, dive in head first. I mean the NCAA had to be in on it too, right?!? With all those kids looting, and causing mayhem, the NCAA had to of turned a blind eye. Let's face it, if Norm Stewart got put on probation and had the label "lack of institutional control" slapped on him, them some booster probably paid off the entire NCAA to ignore Nebraska. That's basically what the next step in the kool-aid conspiracy has to be in order for THUGS=HAPPY FANS, the universal truth/law, to have any weight attached to it. (Maybe this goes even higher, maybe it's linked to White Water and the Clintons, or maybe Norm Stewart was framed by the NCAA, and those players charged was because of discrimination.)

However Big Head, apparently you're two fisting the kool-aid to catch up with AJ. A piece of advice, take off the aluminum foil helmet, stop carrying on conversations with dead people, don't take your advice from the guy asking for change on the corner, and stop giving money to kooks trying to prove we didn't land a man on the moon. When you put yourself in that category you can't help but make fun of it.

What's hilarious is that so many are out there swallowing the notion, hook, line and sinker, not a question asked. I'm not making so much fun of the "universal law", I'm making more fun of the people that either heard it, or read it, and used a limited thought process to come to conclusion that THUGS=HAPPY FANS, is a universal law.


Wow, you really devastated me, your shot went to the marrow (that's really deep for those unfamiliar with the phrase).

I don't know how I can go on after taking a brutal verbal punishment like that (sarcasm).

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


OK I love seeing the Husker collapse as much as you do, and I realize rooting for Nebraska is sacreligious to you...however, what do you do next week?

Do continue to root against the Nubs or hope they have a "glorius" victory over that football powerhouse at kU?

At this point I think we might as well pull for the Nubs. Making fun of them is becoming like making fun of kids in the Special Olympics. Plus if they beat kU then we might hear how order has once again been restored and the fun could start all over again.

Your thoughts?

5:42 PM  
Blogger Big Head said...

Things that aren't real:

Santa Claus
Easter Bunny
Tooth Fairy
Pam Anderson's boobs

The THUGS=HAPPY FANS theory is true. People are a product of their environment. Would Maurice Purify think snow came from the ground (Texas post game show last year) if he came from the midwest? Would Lawrence Phillips run kids over with his car, have a violent past with everyone, and be a total dick if he grew up in Regency? Would Kalen Grimes put the butt of a shotty in someone's grill if he was raised in Malibu?

Why do you think rappers are from the projects? Because there's a ton of hardcore stuff that happens in Bellevue?

Grasp the idea.

And I find your Kool-aid comments hillarious since Kool-aid was in fact created in Nebraska. How ironic, huh?

9:20 PM  
Anonymous Valjean said...

"who is tops on my hate list at the moment ...the Boston Red Sox, and most of all...their fans.

The Yankees are easy to hate, because they are arrogant, brash and have more history than any team on earth. The Red Sox fans however, I can paint with one large brush: Whiney douche-bag frat-boy looking dorks, chugging a Sam Adams cherry wheat, ragged hat and faded sweatshirt, screaming and ranting about being an underdog, while their GM spends the gross domestic product of Spain on talent.

If you’re going to be annoying and arrogant pricks, at least have the common courtesy to separate from the rest of us. You are not downtrodden. The Patriots most likely will never lose another game. The Celtics had a dynasty for years. And now, the Red Sox can spend whatever they want, on whoever they want..and unlike the Yankees..have a GM that actually knows what the hell he’s doing."

don't hate the Sox.... I understand that the walmart Royals are not willing to spend more on a player than the average Walmart customer does in an average year for talent (call it getting in touch with the common man).... but the fact that the Sox are burying the Yankees (the team responsible for this mess in the first place) by playing their own game has to somewhat satisfying. At some point the Yankees HAVE to understand that they don't want to pay this much for a first round ejection... the Sox don't want to pay this much for winning and once the Yankees get real, or the league puts an end to this madness the Sox will cut pay as well.

Until 5 years ago the Sox refused to pay the going rate and they were trounced by the Yankees... Boston is apparently the only place in baseball that can afford to take on satan and his ball club.... don't hate..... understand that none of us want to be here....

1:17 AM  
Anonymous bhg said...

big head,

If the THUGS=HAPPY FANS theory is true, according to AJ's keen intellect, join me in condemning the scurge known as Norm Stewart, and call for his name to be expunged from the college coaches hall of fame.

Cause if you're going to condemn Nebraska on that type of logic, then Norm Stewart should have been lined up and shot.

11:05 AM  

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