Big Red is Dead - Let Freedom Ring
But like a prize fighter grabbing the rope at the count of eight, I think I can muster up enough strength to respond. Perhaps not with hate…but with another emotion. As many of you have stated, I haven’t NEARLY gloated enough on this blog in regard to my ability to call this train wreck with near Nostradamus precision.
Perhaps this has been because of the shock of actually seeing you crash and burn faster than even I thought. (I said 6-6, and it appears 4-8 is far more likely.) Regardless, the shock is starting to wear off and the snickering mockery can now begin. Perhaps I should have drawn this card earlier? Perhaps I should have kicked sand in your face as your grab for your bleeding nose a while ago? Perhaps I could laugh a bit harder at your ability to go from cocky and arrogant, to panicked and distraught in a matter of not months..but weeks.
Over the past few years, I’ve had my share of typical Husker fan responses in my comments section. Over the past couple of days, I’ve revisited some of these idiotic remarks, and thought perhaps it’s time to revisit some of them together, and giggle at their ridiculousness.
“Pinkel is history if he can’t recruit the best players in his home state. Mizzery may eek out a decent year this year, but the writing is in the wall unless they can bring in a recruiting oriented head coach.” – Anonymous, July-07
“While it’s kinda funny to watch you wait for the demise of the Husker football program, it’s kinda sad too. I hope you can find help soon, because it’s not going to end anytime soon.” - JP (Currently MIA), July - 07
“Dream on idiot. Nebraska is on it’s way back to the top tier of college football teams on the field and is still (and always will be) a top tier “name” program. Just accept it and you’ll sleep better.” Anonymous, July - 07
“Purify is a legit big play threat, but he is far from the only contributing receiver. NU has a LOT of depth here..something like 6-7 players that had SIGNIFICANT reps. (in 2006). I for one am not worried about this area at all.” Anonymous July -07
“Your Tiggers have serious issues on defense. Good luck there, you’re going to need it.” Anonymous July – 07
“Hey aj (ass jockey): Can you say 52-10? (Edit re: Nevada) You can now blow me” Anonymous August - 07
“Major Culbert and Ricky Thernase are major upgrades from Shanle and GREEN. The D doesn’t lose nearly what you think it does.” Anonymous - Nov 06
“You think Nebraska sucks. You ain't very smart now is ya boy.” - Norfolk Native, Nov - 06
And it goes on and on and on and on. (I don’t even have room for all the e-mails from friends and co-workers…let alone blogs and message boards). The CONSTANT bitching and moaning, the chest thumping, ego thrusting myopia that could fuel a small New England town if hooked up to a generator is long since gone. At any point during those weeks and months of insane comments, factless lies and regurgitated propaganda did you ever think you wouldn't be called out for being completely and 100% wrong? How come some of my most consistent, delusional and hateful readers have all disappeared into the night like a pack of ghosts?
To my own dismay, I have been extremely generous to Nebraska fans during the past few weeks, as I watch the complete and total nuclear meltdown taking place down the road. But then again, wasn’t it me who said Callahan couldn’t motivate? Wasn’t it me who said you can’t lose your best quarterback and running back and just expect yards to start piling up? Wasn’t it me who said your DB’s sucked ass last year, and when shitty players come back the next year..they’re usually still shitty? Wasn’t it me who told you a gold rival star never won a game?
Did you think I would simply let this slide? Did you think I would forget?
Let this be a lesson to every single one of you combine driving rednecks who decides to post some incoherent rant or comment that goes on and on about stuff you obviously don’t know ANYTHING about. Again, I realize it’s a bit difficult to see the big picture when you’re drowning in a sea of myopia…but Good Lord people, Keller was 4-4 lifetime…what the hell did you think was going to happen? You never even came close to winning a game during Callahan’s tenure when you were behind. Not one. Didn’t that cause a bit of alarm in your head? You lost your entire front four…your linebackers were pitifully overrated, and to brag about your wide receivers? How in the HELL would a NEBRASKA fan of all teams know what the hell a good receiver is?
The great thing about all of this is that even when I am pretty much done blasting you…my point since being made…fans of Missouri, K-State and Colorado are begging for me to pile on. (Who knew some of them hated you more than I do?) Don’t get me wrong…you deserve it now..and you’ll deserve it again when you get a new coach, who I predict will suddenly be THE guy to take you back to glory. Why even try to fight it anymore? You’ve got absolutely nothing. Well, at least you got your All-American pictures back on your wall at the Stadium. I guess that’s all that really matters anyway huh?
Couple of other Big 12 Tidbits:
* For the love of all things high and holy, STOP with the slobbery love-fest with Kansas. They have TWO ½ decent wins…by a combined 11 points. (One of which was played within the borders of their own state.) K-State is scrappy, but extremely inconsistent. Josh Freeman can throw for 400 yards or 40 yards on a given night. Colorado is obviously improved, but they could be one of the slowest teams I’ve seen in a while. Give Hawkins some time…but they’re not there yet.
Point is, the Lamehawks are the product of the perfect storm of shitty scheduling. Avoiding Tech, Texas and Oklahoma while scheduling 4 cupcakes at home is bad for the Big 12 and bad for college football. The good thing is, no matter what they do, it’s looking more and more like the showdown at Arrowhead vs. Missouri is going to decide the North.
I shall save my commentary further on that game til we get closer, but rest assured it involves tear gas, urine bombs and riot gear.
* Somebody asked me the other day, “Aside from the Huskers, who else do you hate?”. Obviously, hating Kansas is in my blood, and will always remain. However, those two teams not withstanding, who is tops on my hate list at the moment ...the Boston Red Sox, and most of all...their fans.
The Yankees are easy to hate, because they are arrogant, brash and have more history than any team on earth. The Red Sox fans however, I can paint with one large brush: Whiney douche-bag frat-boy looking dorks, chugging a Sam Adams cherry wheat, ragged hat and faded sweatshirt, screaming and ranting about being an underdog, while their GM spends the gross domestic product of Spain on talent.
If you’re going to be annoying and arrogant pricks, at least have the common courtesy to separate from the rest of us. You are not downtrodden. The Patriots most likely will never lose another game. The Celtics had a dynasty for years. And now, the Red Sox can spend whatever they want, on whoever they want..and unlike the Yankees..have a GM that actually knows what the hell he’s doing.
I have never rooted for a Denver-based team in my life, but I hope the Rockies lay the frickin wood to those whiney, Afflack loving, chowder slurping, Kennedy voting, chalkboard accent having, shitty stadium dwelling, crappy beer producing, Manny worshiping assholes.
Go Rocks Go