March 25, 2007

One Last Word on Parking-Gate

I was just about to let this J.C. Keller thing go. As we talked about before, the whole thing is pretty much just a small incident at a big college, where a hot-shit athlete throws a tantrum in public. No big deal right? And yes, if I were you people, I would be a bit concerned that this is exactly the reason this guy left Arizona State. But somehow I “don’t know the real story”, and I’m completely wrong.

Fine. Time will tell I guess.

However, just as I was about to let this whole thing go and move on to more pressing issues, leave it to Tom Shatel to pull me right back in. No, I’m not shocked that Tom wrote in his column this morning about Husker football. (Even though it’s March.) I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is his completely pathetic assertion that Keller is somehow the VICTIM in all of this. Do you people realize how butt-ass stupid that sounds?

Shatel even went so far as to talk to Corey Mckeon and ask him what he thought. “You have to commend Sam because guys like me would have done a lot worse.”

What?!? Over a fucking parking space? Do something WORSE than throw a projectile at a GIRL and swear at her in public? Am I the only person who sees a problem like this? At what point do these fucking guys get to walk around and start clubbing people over the head because of who they are? I’ve seen a lot of stupid and appalling things come out of traitor Tom’s laptop, but this is one of the most disturbing and most pathetic displays of kissing Husker ass I’ve ever seen…and that’s certainly saying something.

This STILL wouldn’t even be that big of a deal, despite the fact that your entire existence rides on Keller’s ability to stay out of jail. The problem is..and how do I put people have had a history of selling your soul for wins before. Perhaps he can find one of Christian Peter’s teammates who would comment that, “You gotta commend guys like Christian, because guys like me would have actually forced sex on Miss Nebraska in that bar instead of just put his hand down her pants.” Do you see how absolutely pathetic that sounds?

This is not just a Sam Keller pattern, this is a Nebraska Cornhusker pattern. I’m not a student at UNL, but I do have relatives there..and the last thing those guys are getting is a “raw deal”. The cops aren’t out to get them. The media isn’t out to get them. The other students aren’t out to get them. A lot of them are bad guys, and you warship them. That’s the problem.

Some of you had a problem with me pointing out the story of the guy from the ’94 team who is going to prison for some pretty heinous stuff. However, the news is not always pretty. I’m not saying every player that has ever waltzed through Lincoln has been like that guy. In fact, I’m really hoping we never see a story like that again on any team. But the fact remains, your coaching staff has brought in some pretty unsavory guys over the years to help you win games. Sure, that happens on any team, but no other team claims to be the Norman Rockwell painting of college football that you people do.

* Speaking of problems, could we be seeing the slow death of the phenomenon known as Husker baseball? Looks like a certain “lower level” Big 12 team is about to put the wood to the little Red in their own hometown and bring out the brooms. I’m not about to tell you that college baseball matters, because it doesn’t at all. But I do find it funny that something that was so near and dear to all Nebraskans now…is swept under the rug for Creighton spring recruiting updates.

It will be interesting to see what will happen if the Huskers put together a run toward the end of the season.

* With the near certainty that Alex Gordon will be a star for the Royals this year, I got an interesting question this week. “How can you handle having ex Huskers on your favorite pro teams? Doesn’t that bother you?”

The answer is, yes. Of course it bothers me. However, there isn’t a whole lot of things I can do about it, so I try not to think about it. Will Shields is a good example of an ex-Husker I can cheer for. Eric Warfield….not so much. (Because he sucked and got paid 9 billion dollars a year.) I’m not about to start worshiping Alex Gordon, but I do recognize he’s a damn good ballplayer, and always has been. If it means the Royals won’t be a laughing stock this season, I’d pretty much accept former Al Qaeda members if they could hit .320.

* Omaha over-30 league is now the Omaha over-25 league. Yippie…this will be fun. I can’t wait to get lit up by barely-out-of-college kids, instead of out-of-college-guys-for-10 years. Updates to come in the next few weeks, because I know you all are concerned.

Enjoy your sweep..uhh..I mean weekend.


Blogger TB said...

wow, what mckeon said is the dumbest thing i've ever heard. i hope neither he nor any of these idiots ever come down here to Houston and get their parking spot taken, because texans won't throw plastic cups back at them.

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the part about Osborne elling his soul for the titles. What is hilarious though is Husker fans still can't admit that.

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aj, just when I think I hate huskerfan more than ever, I read your blog again and I have to totally revamp my hatred towards these myopic fucking hicks.

9:25 PM  
Anonymous BHG said...

How many times have we heard that coaches "sell" their proverbial soul to the devil to win championships? It seems that we hear that about absolutely every coach who has wants or desires success.

If a coach does have to sell their soul in order to gain success, then apparently Gary Pinkels soul isn't worth much.

10:18 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

I wish he'd sell his soul from time to time. Quin tried to do that..and look where that got him.

Plus, it wouldn't be so bad with NU, but Husker fans/media proclaim they are the end-all, be-all of great fans. This simply points out the fact that you guys are no different than anybody else...which is teh whole point of this blog in the first place.

10:32 AM  
Anonymous BHG said...

So until a coach "sells" his soul, he'll never be a winner, and only winners "sell" their souls. That's how your statement is reading.

Let's follow this line of thinking through. Someone like Stoops had to have sold his soul sometime before he got the head coaching job at Oklahoma in order to win a National Championship in his first year at Oklahoma. (Which is similiar to Pete Carroll at USC). Did Stoops somehow buy his soul back since he's had a couple sub-par years?

If it is commonly known that soul selling is the only way to win, did Norm sell his soul?

Since the people of the University of Missouri let Quinn go, one must assume that one of the following is true, a)everyone is keeping the soul selling a secret from Missourians, b) Missourians don't understand the purpose of selling a soul, or c) Pinkel may have sold his soul to the wrong person.

Just having fun with your general statement

12:59 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

You're missing the key point though. Quin sold his soul and failed. At least when you sell your soul and win, you have a shot of firing back at your critics. If you lose like end up just looking dumb.

And's all a moot point, because the school in question has a sign over their front door that claims that "here enters the greatest fans in college football."

You make that statement..prepare to be judged on a higher standard.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous bhg said...

You respond with "well Nebraska says they are the greatest fans in the world", which could also be called avoidance. What would the fans have to do with a coach "selling" their soul? The fans cannot "sell" a soul of a coach anymore than I could "sell" your soul, or anyone else's soul for that matter. So the point of the sign stating, "best fans in the world" really doesn't have anything to do with your assertions on the soul "selling".

I now respond saying, no I didn't miss your point, you say that Nebraska is "like everyone" else. Using your logic of "soul selling" and success, Norm had to be selling his soul, and if you "sell" your soul and don't have success then that makes you a moron (Quin). If this "soul selling" is the norm, then why the outrage when someone does sell their soul?

What I'm trying to state is that blanket, general statements are at best inaccurate and the logic doesn't hold up.

Every program has degrees of differences and circumstances which make them unique. To try and paint them all with a broad brush is impossible and not practical.

5:32 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

I hate it when you guys get psychological. ;)

Let's look at it this way:

- Tom Osborne goes years and years with a clean program...good kids and can't win the big one.

- Tom Osborne suddenly starts recruiting guys of questionable character. (Wasn't Steve Pederson that guy running that show?)

- Tom Osborne wins a couple of national titles (1 and 2 halves), using players that were arrested 33 times in a 5 year span. (or something like that. I used to have it documented, but I grew old and stopped caring.)

- People love Husker football even more because of those national (1 title and 2 halves) titles.

Now, simple algebra says this:

TO+ thugs = winning
winning = Fans happy

Thus, TO+thugs= Fans happy.

It's not rocket science...and every school DOES fall under that blanket, with the possible exception of schools who think they are so much cleaner and better than everybody else.

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting math lecture going on here. I didn't think that I would find the use of the transitive property on this blog especially when concerning football fans. Although the principle is shown correctly I believe it is slightly more complicated than that regarding Husker football (

It’s not like any fans of any team all out root for thugs in their given sport. That shit just happens. We don't applaud it, as most people don't, but just wish these athletes to go through college without being a burden on society. Also, with TO's mindset on giving all kinds of athletes a chance, especially ones that would be considered high risk, backlash from critics can occur.

P.S. Staying with the math theme wouldn't it just be easier for you to type 2 national titles rather than 1 and 2 halves? Just thinking of some time saving techniques for ya.

8:27 PM  
Anonymous ohf said...

16-1. 10 run rule, just in case you hadnt seen the score. sweep indeed. lmao, a true sweep is doc going 2-0 vs the tigger basketball team. silly aj. and here i didnt think you liked college baseball, oh wait, only when missery actually wins something. luckily, that doesnt happen too often...

10:21 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

With all due respect to team didn't get bounced at home by Manhattan and San Francisco. And baseball doesn't mean squat to me, but it's funny to watch you all get in a tizzy.

I appreciate the explanation of "thug fans"..and I see the point. I just don't buy it.

11:53 AM  
Anonymous BHG said...

You have proven the point I ended with, taking specific information and making general statements is not practical.

Using your "blanket" statement, that means Norm was recruiting thugs left and right. Let's hear why Missourians were outraged with Quin if the "thug" principal is a generally accepted fact(or is there a conspiracy to keep this information from Missouri). I mean Missourians must have known that Norm had been selling his soul for years. Using your "blanket" statement, no team is worthy of any type of recognition for any achievement because all can be explained by "selling" your soul.

If program success is as simple as you believe (and apparently others believe) then every school that wins a championship and fans has a crime wave, and local laws enforcement agencies, maybe even the FBI are turning a blind eye to it. (Tell us why the FBI isn't doing more, who shot Kennedy, tell us about how 9/11 really was a government demolition, explain to us how and why N.A.S.A. faked the moon landings, while you're at it, the free-masons, the levy in New Orleans, global warming, blah, blah, blah.)

Using the logic of your rule of substitution, every coach that has happy fans, had to do it with thugs. I wonder how many convicted felons are on the Boise State football team? I'll bet that Rice baseball team that won a national championship was loaded with drug dealers and dysfunctional misfits. Everyone knows that Rices cover as a high-priced engineering school is just to throw the NCAA off their misdeeds. Altman must recruit child molesters because Creighton is a Catholic school. ( I don't even have to do the "in-depth" analysis because I've got your full-proof theory to back me up.)

Your "in depth" analysis of Nebraskas football players is impressive (by Missouri standards). How did those numbers compare with other division one schools for the same era? How about for a fifty year period? vs. the national crime rate? vs. the towns crime rate? vs. college/univeristy population crime rate? What was the standard deviation of the group studied? Did these numbers include diversion programs? (Stats would help you prove a point, oh wait, no stats, then it's just conjecture.) If holding this belief helps you sleep at night, more power to you. You are similiar to every Nebraska fan that believes that we would have beat Colorado if we had not been clipped on one play, that Penn State only won the game in Happy Valley because of the refs inability to call someone out of bounds, that Florida State fumbled going across the goal line, and the list can go on.

I wonder why my college football team didn't make it to the playoffs, I mean we had one guy that was arrested and charged with assault, and another left campus just a day prior to the FBI showing up to bust him for distributing steroids all in one year, that should have been enough to at least make put our team in the playoffs. (It must have been a conspiracy, who do I call to find out why my team got ripped off!!!)

I thought I was being more philosophical than physchological. (You blew that one guys theory that you need to recruit 4-5 star kids to have good teams, all you really need is a rap sheet, and find the dysfunction is a kids family to pick a winner.)

11:56 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

I need to admit..I didn't even read that...I just approved it. I'm sure it was a great point though.


12:21 PM  
Blogger JP Anderson said...

yer all pansies

11:09 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

He's BACK!!!!!!!

10:17 AM  

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